Our Kind of Relationship
by DitzyDoozle
Summary: Bella had a very tough life that Edward, her fiancé, knows nothing about. When he catches her in an unsettling state, their relationship changes into something that she's always needed. Overcoming horrific trauma is a hard thing to do, but with her loving fiancé helping her every step of the way, there's no way she could fail.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Today was a horrible day. We talked about child molesters and incest within families in my psych class. It was so tough to sit there and have to write down all these notes and listen as my professor went through all the mental issues that the molesters and children had.

I kicked off my boots at the front door and shrugged my pea coat off. Edward, my fiancé, wasn't home yet. He got off later than I did.

I really needed to make dinner. I had laid out chicken, but I couldn't bring myself to go into the kitchen. Standing there, I finally decided what I needed to do to breathe easier again.

Usually, when I had horrible days like this, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I needed a release, and the only way I could get it was through pain.

I went into the downstairs bathroom and grabbed the hidden razor I kept taped under the sink. I didn't want Edward to find it. He'd freak and want to know why I kept one of his discarded blades around.

Once I retrieved that, I went to my reading chair; Edward's was on the other side of the end table. We spent most Sundays sitting here, him reading the newspaper and me, reading some mystery novel.

I rolled my skirt up; there were healed marks already there. I reopened them, hissing and smiling as the new cuts just released the horrible, pent up tension. I kept cutting, careful not to bleed on the chair; Edward bought them, he'd be mad.

I was so into the cutting that I didn't realize someone had walked into the room.

"Bella?" Edward said, his face filled with bewilderment.

My head jerked up, my eyes nearly popping out of my skull. Oh no. I had been so careful to hide my dysfunction for years, and now he's seen it. He's going to leave me. No, no, no, I can't lose him!

"Edward, i-it's not what it looks like!" I rolled my skirt down my leg quickly.

He rushed over to me, trying to move my skirt. I slapped his hands away.

"No! Stop! I'm fine! I'll go get dinner ready!" I said trying to stand.

"Stop Bella!" his voice was stern as he pushed me back down into the chair.

"Get off me!" I screamed, kicking him back.

He fell backwards onto his butt with an 'omph.' I gasped and sat down beside him.

"Oh no, I'm sorry, are you okay?" I asked, patting him gently.

"I'm fine, I want to see your thighs right now." He demanded, putting his hands back onto my skirt.

"Edward, stop. I am fine." I growled, slapping his hands away again.

"Bella! You're not fine! You're bleeding all over the carpet!" He snarled.

I looked down, there was blood on the white carpet, "Oh no, I'm so sorry! I'll clean this up right now." I said, standing abruptly.

Edward stood as well, "Bella, let me see your leg right now." He demanded.

"Edward, stop overreacting." I said, crossing my arms.

"Bella, are you serious?" He asked, his green gaze intense.

I rolled my eyes, "Edward, just stop okay? I am fine." I said, turning and walking quickly into the kitchen.

He followed me. I was suddenly lifted off of the floor and onto the counter. I was so shocked by the sudden movements that Edward was able to move my skirt up and get a clear view of my dysfunction.

I scratched at his hands, "Edward stop this right now!" I squealed.

He grabbed both of my wrists in his hands. His hands were huge and mine were tiny, it was so easy for him to overwhelm me.

I snapped my legs shut, "Stop Edward! Please stop!" I screamed.

His managed to move my legs apart, he placed his hips between my legs, which made it impossible to close them.

There were now tears in the corner of my eyes as he examined me. He was a doctor at a small practice, he knew what he was looking at.

"Bella, why did you do this? Why have you been hurting yourself?" He demanded.

"It was a one-time thing; it'll never happen again." I swore, but knew that I was lying myself.

"Bella, there are old scars, you've reopened several wounds! Why Bella?" He looked up at me, his big green eyes glazed over. I felt my chest tighten, a horrible feeling washing over me.

"I-I'm sorry." I blurted out.

He lifted me off of the counter, cradling me in his arms like a baby. He walked into the bathroom, I wondered what we were doing in here.

He set me on the counter beside the sink. He found our up-to-date first aid kit, and started digging through it. He found the band-aides and medical disinfectant.

"Keep your legs open." He said as he cleaned the cuts.

"Edward, this is really unnecessary. You're overreacting again." I said, he had a problem with overreacting.

"No I'm not Bella." He said in a low voice.

"You are. I am fine. It's just a little blood. I'm not going to die." I said with an eye roll.

He looked up, his face very serious, "Why did you do this Bella?" He demanded, his voice firm.

"Don't worry about it," I hissed, glaring at him.

"Do you do this a lot?" He asked, putting hands on either side of my thighs against the counter, trapping me in.

"No. Let me go fix dinner. Now." I said threateningly

"No Bella. You tell me why you did this and how many times you've done this." He said.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed in annoyance, "Edward, seriously, don't worry about it."

"Bella, I am going to worry about it! I come in to find my fiancé mutilating herself with a dirty razor! I want to know what the fuck is going on in your head that says that this isn't a big deal! It is!" He yelled loudly.

Against my will, my lower lip stuck out and tears starting to pour out of the corner of my eyes. I put my face in my hands and sobbed pitifully.

* * *

New Story! Let me know what you think of it. I want to know where you think their relationship is going to go!


	2. Chapter 2

I put chapter two up because the first chapter was super short. I hope this chapter answers some of your questions! Thank you guys for the positive feedback! I want to hear more from you, and see where you think it's going. It might get weird for some people and I fully expect to see some bail on the story, but I hope some people find it intriguing. I think I'm going to update every other day, or maybe every two days. I have twenty-one chapters written already, but when you update frequently the story goes by so fast. I like a consistent, steady pace. Anyway, when you've finished reading this chapter, click that box that's at the bottom of the page, write your thoughts and opinions and then click send! I love hearing your opinions!

Chapter Two

He lifted me off of the counter and hugged me tightly to his chest, my face in his shoulder. I gripped his shirtfront tightly and sobbed. He rubbed my back in slow circles.

"It's okay Bella. I shouldn't have yelled, I'm sorry." He said, hugging me tighter.

"I'm sorry I'm so fucked up," I cried loudly.

"You're not fucked up baby," he said gently.

"I am! I am fucked up! I'm a horrible, fucked up, dysfunctional mess! I don't deserve you! Just leave me!" I sobbed.

I felt him shake his head, "No, no baby, it's okay. It's okay. You aren't fucked up."

I shook my head back, "I am Edward, I'm fucked up. You don't even understand, I'm trying to be normal, but I can't be. I'm not normal, please just go already and find someone normal." I screamed.

He walked out of the downstairs bathroom and went into our private bathroom. He continued to hold me as he turned the tabs on, letting the water run.

He stripped me of my clothes, still managing to keep a hold on me. I felt weak, I couldn't move and I didn't make any attempts to stop him. I just sobbed into his shoulder. I felt awful, he shouldn't be with me, he should be with someone normal, someone who isn't so fucked up.

Once I was naked, he set me down into the steaming bath water; I kept my face in my hands.

"Bella, please look up at me." He asked gently.

I shook my head, more tears rushed down my cheeks. I didn't want him to see me, the fucked up mess he mistakenly put of ring on.

"Please Bella, please look at me." He begged in a soft voice, his hands gently tugging at my wrists.

Slowly, I removed my hands, staring blankly at the tile on the wall. He stroked my cheek with his thumb.

"I love you so much Bella." He finally said after such a long silence.

I turned my head, my face filled with confusion.

"W-what?" I said.

He looked down, his eyes sad, after a moment he looked back up, "Bella, I love you so much. I just want to understand why you were hurting yourself. Were you going to kill yourself?" He asked.

I blushed, "No! I was not going to kill myself! I just needed… a release." I blurted out.

"A release? What do you mean?" He asked, grabbing the wash cloth and started cleaning me.

"I-I don't know." I lied.

"You do know. I know when you're lying to me." He said.

"It was just a rough day." I said.

"So, you hurt yourself when you have bad days?" He said.

I blushed, "I guess so. Stop talking about it please." I demanded.

"You're not allowed to hurt yourself anymore." He said.

I rolled my eyes but didn't say anything. I would be more careful about doing it, but I wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop, it was the only thing that made me feel better.

"Bella, promise me you're not going to hurt yourself again." He said

I rolled my eyes again, "Fine, I promise."

He didn't look convinced but he let it go.

Edward's POV

After I bathed her, she fell asleep. She must have exhausted herself. I checked on the horrific cuts on her thighs, then I shook my head. The cuts weren't too deep, but they'd leave scars. But it seems that wouldn't be an issue because her upper thighs were already covered in semi-healed scars. I had always wondered why she refused to do it with the lights on, and why I wasn't allowed to go down on her, but I guess I figured it out.

Once I knew she was settled and wouldn't wake up, I snuck away to call my mother. She was a phycologist; she'd know what to do.

"Hello?" She said.

"Hey, mom, it's Edward." I said, clutching the phone close to my ear.

"Yes I know, I read the caller I.D., what's up?" She asked.

I sighed, "Mom, I-I think Bella needs some help." I said quietly.

"Help? Is she hurt?" She asked, her voice laced with concern.

"Not exactly. Um, she…" trailed off with a heavy sigh.

"Take a deep breath and start from the beginning." She advised, her professionalism shining through.

I took a deep breath, "Okay, well, I got home early and I found Bella, sitting in the dark, slicing her thigh to pieces with an old, dirty, razor… and when I caught her, she acted like it was no big deal! That I should just ignore the fact that she was trying to mutilate herself. She fought me for a while because, I was trying to clean it… mom it was really bad. I just… what do you think I should do mom? What should I say to her?" I asked.

"Hmm, I was wondering when you were going to see Bella's walls crack." She said mysteriously.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, becoming defensive; I didn't care if she was my mother, she better not say anything hateful about my fiancé.

Mom sighed, "Edward, from the first time I met Bella, I knew there was something she was hiding. Damages from the past that she kept buried down deep. The more I got to know her, the more damage I saw. I had wondered what her form of release was, and I guess you saw that tonight." She said.

I paused for a moment, "Bella's not damaged…" I said in a soft, unbelieving voice.

She sighed, "Edward, she was cutting herself. The only people who do that are the damaged ones. And look at all the evidence; she has no relationship with her parents and she outright refuses to talk about them, she's only physical with people she's known for a long time, she has trust issues, she clings to your side when she comes around… She's been putting up a façade for you, and now you've seen the damaged side."

"W-what do I do mom? How do I help her?" I asked, if Bella was suffering, I wanted to get her help.

"Well, first things first, you need to talk with her. Really talk with her. Break down those barriers and find out what's causing her such distress. Then you need to find a really good and understanding therapist to help her sort out her feelings." She said.

"But what if Bella doesn't want to? I mean she fought me when I tried to clean her cuts, she's going to fight me on this." I said.

"Edward, Bella needs a stern hand in her life. I've seen this before." She said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Bella is seeking something she didn't receive from her childhood. And when you two are around, she sticks right by your side, so she obviously sees you as the protector. But, what I suggest, is talking with her and seeing if she'd be willing to go see a therapist." She said.

"Yeah, I'll talk to her. What do you think she's seeking?" I asked.

"Hmm, well, it's hard to say. But, from what I've seen of Bella these last couple of years, she's looking for a father figure. Someone to assume the role of the firm hand, the protector, the guide. It's not uncommon for girls with father issues. Plus, from the relationship I've seen between you two, it's what I see with some of my patients." She said.

"What kind of relationship do we have?" I asked.

"Well, you two have that 'father figure,' sort of relationship. She is in need of an authority figure. Someone to kind of take the reins and be the adult, and tell her that everything is going to be okay. And you provide that for her." She said.

I took a breath, "Alright, I'm going to speak with her in the morning. Thank you, mom." I said before hanging up.

I went back in the bedroom and crawled into the bed beside Bella, I stroked some out of her beautiful face. I prayed that'd she'd open up to me…


	3. Chapter 3

I've taken down the Author's note, I hope every got a chance to check it out! Chapter three is a little short, but after about chapter five, the chapters really get lengthy. I figured since it was a holiday I'd update this story and Love and Mafia, so if you read that, new chapter today! I love Thanksgiving because I love to eat :) and turkey is my absolute favorite meat! 3 Anyway, have a good holiday, enjoy your family and the yummy food. Don't forget to review! Have a great holiday weekend!

Chapter Three

I woke up the next morning to the smell of pancakes. I sat up and smiled. Edward was cooking breakfast, I always enjoyed when he cooked. When I stepped out of bed, I felt the familiar dull ache between my thighs.

I looked down, I was naked, so I could see my bandaged thighs. Oh… right… I remembered what happened. Edward caught me.

I changed, slowly, trying to procrastinate going downstairs. I really didn't want to face Edward, he had seen a side of me that I had concealed, the fucked up side. He was such an incredible man, he deserved someone better than me.

I walked down the stairs and found Edward, in his sleeping pants, standing in front of the stove. I bit my lip, wondering if I should say something or if I should just get my stuff and leave.

Before I could make the decision he turned around and smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Good morning Bella." He said cheerfully.

"Morning." I said, sitting down at the island.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked as he flipped some pancakes onto a plate.

"Fine." I said, still contemplating to just leave, save him from having to tell me.

He finished cooking and set a plate down in front of me, then sat in the barstool across from mine. I stared down at my pancakes, not moving. By now they'd be covered in syrup.

Edward, noticing my hesitance, poured the syrup on my pancakes for me.

"Thank you." I said, slowly grabbing my fork.

We ate in silence for a few moments, it was unnerving. I wanted him to tell me to leave. I wanted him to tell me he never wanted to see me again. I was to fucked up for him, why wouldn't he just tell me?

He got halfway through his plate before he set his fork down and looked up at me.

"Bella, I want to talk… about yesterday." He said.

I closed my eyes, trying to keep myself together, "Edward, please… just tell me to leave and I'll leave." I said.

"I don't want you to leave… I want you to tell me why you cut yourself." He said.

"I-I don't know." I said, looking to the wall on my left.

"Please Bella, you do know. I just want to know, so I know how I can help." He said.

"I don't need help, I-I know I'm fucked up. But I am fine." I snapped.

"Bella, you're not fine. You're not fucked up either. Please let me help you Bella." He asked.

I rolled my eyes, "Edward, really, I don't need the help." I said.

He paused for a few minutes, "Are you unhappy with me?" He asked.

"No!" I said quickly, "You're perfect." I added.

"Then I don't understand why you'd cut yourself. How can I trust that you're not going to kill yourself?" He asked.

I blushed, "I'm not going to kill myself. I just… need… a release sometimes. I just had a really bad day. That's all." I said.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about this? Do you not trust me?" He asked.

"I do trust you! I just… didn't want you to see this part of me." I said.

"Bella, you've seen me at my worst, let me see you. Let me help you." He begged, grabbing my hand and holding it tightly in his.

Tears welled up in my eyes, "I-I can't." I said.

"Why can't you? What aren't you telling me?" He asked.

I pulled away from the counter and walked away. He wasn't giving up so easily. I should have known; Edward doesn't give up.

He lifted me off the ground with ease, "Hey! Put me down!" I commanded.

"No, we're talking about this." He said, walking over to the over plush chair in the study and sitting, with me cradled in his arms on his lap.

"Edward, there is nothing to talk about!" I said, struggling to get up, but he continued to hold me with ease.

"There is so much to talk about! Have you seen the cuts on your thighs? You're hiding something from me and it's hurting you! It's making you hurt yourself! I want you to tell me what it is right now!" He nearly yelled.

"I can't!" I cried, tears steadily falling down my cheeks.

"Bella, please tell me! Tell me what's happened! Please baby, let me help you!" He begged.

"I'm no good! I'm ruined! Just leave me! You deserve better! I'm too fucked up!" I sobbed pitifully into his chest.

"No you're not baby. You're hurting, let me help you stop hurting. I will never leave you, I love you so much and it hurts me to see you hurting." He said.

I sobbed loudly, snot and tears running down my cheeks. He started rocking and humming.

"Please baby, please tell me who hurt you." He said softly.

"I'm bad! I'm a bad girl, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I won't do it again daddy!" I blurted out.

He stopped rocking and looked at me. My face was shoved into my hands, I was blushing and tears continually ran down my cheeks. This was it. He was going to tell me to leave. He was going to kick me out. He was probably so embarrassed that he put the ring on my finger, I need to take it off so he can give it to a worthier girl.

My fingers drifted to the engagement ring on my finger, the large, perfect diamond, the golden circle engraved with the date that we met and an ' _I Love You.'_ He must be so mad he spent so much money and time to have it done.

He placed his hands on my cheeks and gently lifted my eyes to his.

"Bella, did your dad hurt you?" He asked.

I tried to control myself, but I sobbed, unable to speak. He wrapped his arms around me as tightly as he could.

"Let me take care of you baby. Let me help you not hurt anymore, please, please let make it stop hurting." He said gently.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four! Woo! So I saw Moana yesterday, what an absolutely amazing film! A million thumbs up Disney! I suggest you go see it! Anyway, don't forget to review!

Chapter Four

He rocked me for so long, humming a soothing lullaby. I lost track of time. He never asked me to give him the ring back. Maybe I should give it back to him…

I slipped it off my finger, "D-do you want your r-ring back?" I asked in a small, shaky voice.

His eyebrows shot up, "What do you mean?" He asked quietly.

I looked down, "I-I'm to fucked up. You deserve someone b-better." My voice was still small.

He placed his finger under my chin and lifted it, a gentle smile on his face, "That ring is yours and will always remain on your finger. I don't want anyone else except you. All I want, is to help you stop hurting and to help you get better." He said.

I bit the inside of my cheek, "I-I don't know how to get better." I said.

"I'll help you," he said, "I just want to know… I just want you to tell me… Please, if you can…" he begged.

"H-he r-r-r…" I couldn't spit it out. I didn't want him to know my shame. It was my fault.

He stroked my cheek, "You can tell me anything sweetheart, I love you so much. Nothing you could ever tell me would change my love for you." He said sweetly.

I looked down at his shirt, not wanting to face his eyes any longer.

"You won't believe me… she didn't." I said, adding the last part quietly.

"Who didn't believe you honey? I will believe you, do you want to know why?" He asked, lifting my face up again. I didn't say anything, I just let him continue.

"You're honest," he said with a kiss, "You're caring," another kiss, "You're the sweetest person on the planet," another kiss, "And, you have a huge tell when you fib, it's impossible for you to lie to me." he kissed me again, his easy-going grin lighting up his face.

I couldn't answer him. It was too hard. I knew he wouldn't want me after I told him how damaged I was. It was my fault. I knew it was my fault.

"Please tell me sweetheart. I pinky promise, that no matter what it is, I will still love you. No matter how gruesome, or bloody it is." He said, holding his long pinky out.

I wrapped my tiny pinky around his. Pinky promises were our thing. Whenever we pinky promised, it was serious and couldn't be broken. I knew this.

I took a very deep, shaky inhale, "What if I can't be helped?" I asked.

He stroked my hair, "Sweetie, I'm going to do everything within my power to help you. I don't care what it takes or what I have to do. I'm going to be right beside you, holding your hand, and helping you through this." He said confidently.

I bit my lower lip, "H-he r-rap-ed me…" I said in a small voice, tears threatening to spill over.

Edward stroked my lip, "Your dad?" He asked.

I nodded, "It was my fault…" I said.

"How was it your fault baby?" He asked.

I swallowed hard, "My mommy told me that it was my fault. That I was a liar. I was a bad girl and I seduced him. It's my fault he doesn't love her anymore…" Tears started to fall down my cheeks.

"Shh, shh, it's okay sweetheart." Edward said, hugging me tightly.

"I'll be a good girl." I cried into his chest.

"You are a good girl honey," he said, rubbing my back.

"I'm sorry…" I sobbed.

"Why are you sorry honey? You haven't done anything wrong." He said.

"I'm not a good girl, I'm so sorry daddy…. I promise I can be a good girl." I was clutching his shirtfront tightly, sobbing pitifully into his chest.

"Shhhh baby girl. You are a good girl; d-daddy doesn't think you're a bad girl." He said.

I couldn't talk anymore. I just cried into his shirt while he hugged and stroked my back. He shushed me every now and again when my crying would make it hard for me to breath.

After I quieted down, he started talking.

"Bella, I want to talk to you about something and I want you to be open to it and listen okay?" He said.

I could do that, I mean, he's been listening to me blubber about my problems. I could hear him out. I nodded.

"Bella, I want you to go to a therapist. And, it can be anyone you want it to be. But, I want you to talk about this stuff." He said.

I sighed, "I a-agree to look into it." I said.

He nodded, "And another thing I want to talk about… earlier, when you were crying and apologizing for being a bad girl… you called me daddy." He said.

I blushed furiously, "I—uh—I'm s-sorry." I said, truly embarrassed.

He shook his head, "Don't be. But, I want to know, did that make you feel better?" He asked.

"W-what?"

"Did you feel better when you called me daddy?" He repeated.

"I-I don't know."

"Bella, don't be mad okay? But I talked to my mom last night…" He trailed off.

I gasped, "Edward! Now your mother is going to think I'm crazy!" I screamed.

"No, she doesn't. She actually had some ideas about what's going on. I needed to talk to someone Bella, I was scared." He said.

"Why were you scared?" My heart beat a little faster, why would Edward be scared.

"Because I saw you hurt yourself yesterday and it scared me. I'm not sure what you're going to do to yourself. I don't want to lose you." He said, tears welling up in his eyes.

I frowned, "Your family is going to think I'm crazy." I said.

He shook his head, "Bella, my family loves you so much. If I hadn't asked you to marry me, then they would have adopted you. All they want is for you to be safe and to be happy. They don't want you to be hurting honey. And my mom won't say a word to anyone." He said.

"I know. I love your family. They're the only family I've ever had. I don't want them to not like me." I whispered.

"They love you. You have nothing to worry about there," he said, "They just want what's better for you, as do I." He stroked my cheek, "Bella, did it make you feel better when you called me daddy?"

I blushed again, "I won't do it again." I said.

"That's not what I asked. I noticed that you like it when I kind of, do things that a daddy would do. Like cuddle you, and rock you, and tell you that everything is going to be okay. If that makes you feel better, then I want to keep doing it. I want to keep doing things that will make you feel better." He said.

I shook my head, "Edward, it's weird. And you're my fiancé, not my father. I'm not going to cross that boundary."

He raised an eyebrow, "Why don't we talk to someone before we make any decisions?" He suggested.

I nodded.


	5. Chapter 5

Here's chapter five! Please don't forget to review!

Chapter Five

It was a fight, but she decided to go to therapy. She let me picked the person. I wanted to speak with my mother, but Bella was scared she'd think her crazy.

I found a woman in the downtown area. Neither of us knew her too well, but that was what Bella wanted.

When we walked into the room, she was trembling. Her little hand was gripping mine almost painfully. I tugged her close into my side.

"Hello, we're here to see Dr. Lee," I told the secretary. Bella liked for me to do the talking, she had never really been big on contact with strangers.

"Okay, she'll see you now." She said, pointing to a door.

Bella stood for a moment, unmoving.

"I don't want to do this Edward." She whispered, her lower lip trembling.

I smiled gently at her, "It'll be okay sweetheart," I said, tugging her into the room.

Dr. Lee was sitting at her desk when we walked in. She looked up and nodded, but didn't smile, which I found to be weird. But I just passed it off as it being late. Both of us had to work today.

We sat on the couch and waited for her to walk over. She sat in the plush armchair across from us.

"It's nice to meet you both. I'm Dr. Lee. So, Mrs. Swan, Edward told me on the phone that you're having a hard time." She said.

"Yeah she's having a hard time and we want to see what we can do to make it better." I put my arm around Bella and smiled down at her. I wished to cradle her in my arms to make her feel better, she scooted closer.

"I'd like to hear from the patient if you don't mind." She said rudely.

I didn't like the way she said 'patient.' It made the hair on my neck stand up. I had always been overprotective over Bella, maybe to a fault.

"Edward, if you wouldn't mind, I'd really like to talk to Isabella alone. To get to know her." Dr. Lee said.

I sighed quietly to myself. I really didn't want to leave her, because she was in such a fragile state, but I needed to lead by example. Show her that I was committed to getting her help.

I patted her knee, "I'm going to be right outside." I said with a smile.

"P-please don't leave me." She asked quietly, hanging onto my hand.

I gave her a small smile, "I'm going to be right in the lobby. I'm not leaving you, I promise." I told her.

She looked around, still not letting go of my hand. I reached into my pocket and fished out my wallet and keys, "Here, I can't get anywhere without these." I said.

She clutched them in her hands, still unsure if she should let me leave. I gave her an encouraging smile and walked out of the door.

Bella's POV

I really didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to sit here with me. Well, I didn't want to be here at all, but I had to be here.

"Alright, Miss Swan. I want you to tell me a little about your relationship with Edward." She asked.

"Me and Edward don't have a problem with our relationship." I said defensively.

She cleared her throat, "I'm sure you don't think so. But I wanted to go over what I know so far, he's a bit controlling." She said.

I blinked hard a few times, "H-he's not controlling. I just like it when he's the lead." I said.

"So you like it when he dominates everything and makes decisions for you?" She asked.

I glared now, "No, I never said that. I do what I want, but I like when he takes the lead. It makes me feel better and it makes me feel safe." I told her.

"You know, it's easy to confuse safe with control." She said.

I crossed my arms, "Yeah, well, I am not confused." I said.

She took a deep breath, "Okay, well, we can dip more into that later. Let's talk about your past. Edward told me that you don't have a relationship with your parents."

I shook my head, "No, I don't speak with them."

"When did this start? Right around the time you met Edward?" She asked.

"No. I was kicked out when I was seventeen and I haven't seen them since. I met Edward a few months after that. What are you trying to get at?" I asked.

She took a deep breath and sighed, "Miss Swan, I'm just trying to find the root of the issues so we can dig them up and resolve them. Now, I see this all the time; a big strong man comes into the picture and begins to dominate every aspect of a woman's life. She starts to loose herself and then the stress of not knowing who she is becomes overwhelming. So she lashes out at herself. Edward told me that you cut your thighs up pretty badly." She said.

I was pretty angry now; Edward was not in any way dominating me. Sure, I let him take the lead, but it made me feel better. And he only took the lead because I let him, I chose to stay in the back. But Edward wasn't in any way abusing me.

"No, I did not cut myself because of Edward and I don't like that you're implying he's mentally abusing me. He doesn't dominate any aspect of my life, he's a part of it." I snarled.

She sighed, "Then please tell me why you cut yourself?" She said.

I was biting the inside of my cheek, "I had a tough childhood." I said.

She nodded and wrote it down, "How was it tough?" She asked.

"My mom was a very distant and unbelieving, hateful woman. My father did things that he shouldn't have done to his own daughter. I hated my childhood." I said.

"Your father molested you, and did you tell your mother?" She asked.

I nodded, "Yeah. I told my mom. She just told me that I was a liar." I said.

"I see; how would your father molest you? Was it just touching? Or did he rape you?" She asked.

I really didn't want to talk to her about this. I just told Edward yesterday, he was the second I've ever told. And I didn't feel like telling him was the right move, but my emotions were all over the place.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked, I really just wanted to see Edward and just hug him for a moment to calm me.

"No, we only have twenty more minutes. And I want this answer to come directly from you." She said.

"Do you think I'm getting my answers from anywhere else?" I snapped.

"We can cut this session short, but I want you to do something for me and I want you to have it when you come back. I want you to write a letter, and in the letter I want you to describe everything your father did to you. Write it down so you can clear it up in your head what happened." She said, "It was really nice meeting you." She said.

"Likewise." I said before exiting.

Edward was reading a magazine on the couch. He looked up and smiled when I walked out.

"How'd it go honey?" He asked, kissing my cheek.

"We can talk in the car." I said.

He nodded, "I want to speak with Dr. Lee first, okay? Will you sit here and wait for me?"

I sighed, "I really want to go home."

"It'll just be five minutes, then we can stop by Starbucks and get a pumpkin latte." He said.

Damn, he knew I liked pumpkin lattes. I sighed and nodded, sitting down on the couch.

Edward's POV

I walked back into the office, leaving Bella sitting on the couch.

"Hey, Dr. Lee, I was wondering if we could speak?" I asked.

"Of course." She said a bit coldly.

I sat in the chair, "How did her session go?" I asked.

"I can't really discuss that, and you shouldn't pressure her to tell you about it either. These meetings are a safe environment." She said.

I nodded slowly, "Oh, okay, that's fine. Um well, I had some questions for you."

"Ask away," she said.

"If she cuts herself again, what should I do?" I asked.

"Well, if I were you, I would have her admitted because she's showing signs of seriously hurting herself." She said.

"But, when I caught her cutting herself, she told me that she wasn't trying to kill herself. She just had a bad day and needed a release. I'm not saying that that justifies her cutting herself, but I know Bella and I know she wouldn't do that." I said.

"You didn't know she was cutting herself. How well do you really know her? How bad does a day have to be before she finally kills herself?" She asked.

I was at a loss, she got me, I guess I didn't really know her to well… No, I did know Bella, this was just one thing she kept from me. I shook my head.

"I do know my fiancé. And we're not here because of our relationship, we're here because something horrific happened to her when she was a child and it's becoming too much for her to handle. I want to help her." I said.

"I want to help her too. But if you catch her cutting herself, you really need to ask yourself, 'How far am I going to allow this to go," she said.

I nodded, stood, and left. I walked out of the room with a lot on my shoulders. I knew Bella wouldn't kill herself, I just knew it. But I couldn't have her committed, Bella wasn't crazy she was hurting.

I put on a smile before seeing Bella. She was already on edge and I didn't want to push her.

She stood, I pulled her to my side and she seemed to sigh in relief, "You ready honey?" I asked.

"Yes." She said.

We stopped by Starbucks before making our way towards home.

"Edward, I didn't like her." She said after silence.

I looked over at her, "Bella, I know you didn't want to do therapy, and I'm sorry for that. But she specializes in child molestation." She shuddered a bit, something she did now whenever the word molestation was used.

"Edward, she was mean and she talked bad about our relationship." She said, crossing her arms and staring out the windshield.

"Maybe you misunderstood honey, she was just trying to get to know you tonight." I told her, I was sure that a professional wouldn't bad mouth a relationship she knew nothing about.

Bella made a noise, much like a whining child but she didn't say anything more.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six is up! Don't forget to review and let me know what you think! So, I can't find an affordable gym anywhere close to me, so I'm going to try these Zumba classes. Fingers crossed that I actually like it. I just hate exercising. Everyone says I just need to find a workout I like.

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Chapter Six

When we got home, I was feeling tension. There was so much pressure and I felt like I was going to burst.

"Edward, I'm going to take a shower okay?" I told him as we walked into the door.

"Okay," he leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

I walked up the stairs and to our private bathroom. I locked the door, it wasn't something I normally did, but I didn't want him to walk in on me.

I grabbed one of his discarded razors from the trashcan and popped the top off of it. I just needed a release.

I started the shower and took off my clothing. I couldn't cut anywhere on the thigh, Edward checked the wounds this morning. He would notice if there were any new cuts there.

I thought for a moment before deciding to cut my hip. I can hide that with my underwear, and Edward wouldn't see it if I was careful. We didn't have sex with the lights on anyway.

I sat in the shower, letting the scalding hot water wash over me. After a moment, I started cut into my skin. I couldn't really get to deep, but it helped release the pressure.

I moved onto my other hip. I also cracked the hot water up higher as well. The hot water was burning my skin, it felt nice.

There was knock at the door, "Bella, what are you doing?" Edward asked in a bit of a panicked tone.

"Just finishing up!" I called out.

I hid the razor in my period box (a box filled with pads and tampons, I have one). I knew he wouldn't look in there. Then I wrapped the towel around my body.

I stepped out of the shower and faced Edward, who had a nervous expression on his face.

"What were you doing in there Bella?" He asked.

"Showering, I needed a shower." I told him.

"Why'd you lock the door?" He questioned.

I shrugged, "I'm a bit frazzled tonight, it's been a long night." I said, trying to wave him away.

He stood at the door, not speaking. He just watched me as I dressed, I kept my back to him, careful to keep the new marks on my hips covered.

"I got you something." He finally said.

I slipped my pajamas over my head and sat on the bed beside him. He had a present bag beside him, I got a bit excited. He handed me the gift.

I opened it and found colored pencils and coloring books, no, not regular coloring books, calming and soothing coloring books. The ones with the funny designs. I looked up at him.

"Why did you buy me these?" I asked

"Because I read that these coloring books are very helpful in dealing with stress. So, anytime you're feeling stressed I want you to color a page." He said.

I made a face, "I really appreciate the gift Edward, but I don't want our lives to surround one incident that happened. I don't want it to rule our normal lives." I told him.

He sighed, "Bella, look, I'm really, really worried about you. I'm terrified that you'll hurt yourself again. I don't want you to hurt yourself." He said.

"Edward, I know you're worried. But I'm doing the therapy, in a few weeks I'll be normal." I told him.

He sighed, "Don't say normal, okay, don't say that. You are normal, you're just having a tough time sweetie. And I want to do everything I can to help you." He stroked my cheek.

I looked down at the book in my hands, "Edward…" I trailed off, not wanting to get into it tonight with him, "I'll be okay." I said, looking up at him and smiling.

He smiled back, "Yeah, you will be. It'll just take time." He kissed my cheek.

We went to sleep early that night since we both had to work in the morning. I curled into Edward's side, but I couldn't go to sleep, usually his soft snore would lull me to sleep, but it didn't soothe me tonight. My fingers drifted down to the marks on my hips and I began picking.

I didn't like this; I didn't like any of this. When I left my parent's home, I swore to myself that I would never let myself feel vulnerable every again. But, now everyone knew I was fucking crazy, and I hated it. Edward is still here, sticking it out, but he thinks that I'll be normal. He won't say it but I know. I can never be normal; I have never been normal. That's why my parents hated me… why they loathe the very ground I walked on.

I was a slut… a dirty whore. I would never do anything more than be able to lay on my back and take dick. I'm a fucking whore… I don't deserve to sleep in the same bed as this man, this man who foolishly thinks his fiancé is a good girl… She's a whore!

My fingers had dug deeper into my skin. I deserved this. I was nothing more than a filthy whore. I got out of the bed and went into the bathroom. I deserved more. I grabbed the razor from where I hid it and began to dig deeply into my thighs, that was the most sensitive part on my body, that's where I hurt the most.

Edward's POV

Sometime around 2:00 a.m. I reached out to wrapped my arm around Bella. When I reached out, I couldn't find her. I sat up, wondering where she was.

After a few moments, panic set in. I got out of bed and went right into the bathroom, the first place that occurred to me to look. I flicked the light on and found her sitting on the toilet.

"Bella! What are you doing!" I screamed at her, running over to her as fast as I could.

She continued to slice her skin, seeming to not hear me. I grabbed her hands tightly, squeezing a little tighter to make her drop the razor. I picked her up, hugging her as tightly as I could to my chest. She was bleeding on her hip and her thighs.

"Shit, Bella!" I said, grabbing a towel and wrapped her up. It wasn't too bad, but she had ripped open the old cuts.

She was mumbling to herself, I looked up into her eyes, which seemed to be glazed over. I put my hand on her cheek.

"Bella, sweetie, listen to me, I love you baby. Snap out of it please." I begged her, still pressing the towel to her cuts.

"I'm no good. I'm no good. I'm a dirty whore. I'll never be anything more than a filthy slut." She mumbled.

I shook my head, "No you're not Bella. You are not a whore! You're the most wonderful, smartest, beautiful woman in the world!" I said.

As I lifted her, she must have snapped out of it; she began to thrash and kick. Making it harder to hold her.

"Let me go! Just leave me! Leave me! I'm no good! I'm whore! I don't deserve you! Find someone better! I'm broken!" She screamed loudly.

"Isabella Marie stop right now!" I yelled as she kicked me hard in the groin.

She growled and started to drag her nails across her skin, "Bella stop!" I yelled again, my panic beginning to set in. I grabbed both her wrists and held them tightly.

She kicked out again, and finally, I flipped her over and struck her bottom a good five times.

She paused, as if processing what I had just done. Then the sobs began.

"I'm sorry daddy! I'm so sorry! I'll be a good girl!" She cried.

I picked her up and brought her to the armchair in the corner. I sat her down in my lap and began to stroke her hair, snuggling her closely.

"Shhh sweetheart, shhh. It's okay honey, you're such a good girl." I told her gently.

"I'm sorry I'm broken daddy," she cried into my chest.

"You're not broken. You are not broken baby; I love you so much my sweet girl." I said, rocking her.

"Why am I like this? I don't want to be like this." She cried.

"Theirs is nothing wrong with you my baby. You're going to be okay. I love you so, so much." I told her.

"I sorry daddy, I want to be normal." She sobbed.

"Shhh, no more. No more baby. It's okay."


	7. Chapter 7

Not a long chapter, so I'm debating on whether or not to post another one tonight... hmmmm? Thoughts? Feelings? Don't forget to review!

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Chapter Seven

I called out of work that next morning. She claimed it wasn't necessary but I was not having it. After last night, we needed to talk and we needed an emergency meeting with the counselor. But before that, there were things we needed to discuss.

At some point in the night she fell asleep. I couldn't go back to sleep; I was so worried about her. She had a very restless sleep, she talked and cried and jerked about.

When she woke up she looked confused, but I could see when the events of last night hit her. She looked up at me with worried eyes.

"Good morning," I said, breaking the silence.

"G-good morning," she hesitated.

I stroked her sweat sodden hair off of her face. She was so beautiful, I had never loved anyone quite as much as I loved her. She was perfection. It killed me to think that she didn't believe she was good enough for me; quite often I thought the same thing about myself.

"Bella, I want to talk about last night." I said.

She looked down, "I-I really don't want to talk about it..." She said.

"No, we are, we have too," I said sternly, the stern thing seemed to work, "You really scared me last night. What happened? Why were you doing that? You promised me no more cutting."

She swallowed hard, "I-I don't know." She stuttered.

I shook my head and lifted her gaze to meet mine, "You do know. Now I want to know. I want to know right now. And you are going to tell me." I said.

Her eyebrows scrunched in frustration, "It was a lot yesterday! There was so much pressure and I can't take it! That stupid counselor was a bitch! I hate her and I am not going back. I don't care what you say." She spat.

I swatted her behind sharply, "Do not speak to me that way little girl. I know you're upset, but you mind your manners. Understood?" I said.

She looked shocked, "Y-yes. I understand."

"Now, we can talk about the counselor later, but I want to know why, that every time something like this happens, you've called me daddy… D-do I remind you of him?" I asked, stuttering a little, it would kill me if she thought I resembled that bastard.

Her eyes went wide with shock, "No! You are nothing like him! You're sweet, and kind, and caring, and I know you love me… even if I think it's not a good idea to love me, you still do."

"I love you and it's the best idea for me to love you and you to love me. Okay, so I don't remind you of him, why do you call me that then?" I asked.

She blushed furiously, "I'm not saying it's a bad thing, Bella. But I want to know if it's effecting you in a positive or negative way, sweetie."

She sighed and took a few minutes, "I guess… it makes me feel… better. I don't know how to describe it. When you take care of me, and your stern, it just makes me feel better. And that word slips out. I don't know why I do it." She said, hiding her face slightly.

I thought about it for a moment. It made sense, my mom was saying that Bella lacked that father figure, the protector the guidance, and she was seeking someone to fulfill that role in a way; to help her feel better and to get back what she missed out on as a child.

I stroked her back gently, "If you're sure it's bringing up positive feelings, then I want you to call me that. I can see that it makes you feel better, you seem to kind of, sigh in relief. Please Bella, I will do anything to make you feel better." I told her.

"Edward, no. It's weird and what will people say when they hear me call you that?" She said, her nose scrunched up.

"It's not weird. And you don't have to call me that in front of anyone, it'll be a special thing between me and you. And if someone does hear it who cares? Fuck them. I don't give a fuck what people think." I told her.

She nibbled her lip, "I-I don't know… we're engaged…"

"So what? You view it as protection, guidance, and love. It's basically the same thing as an engaged couple." I said with a shrug.

She took a deep breath, "So, what goes along with the whole 'daddy,' thing?" She asked.

I paused for a moment, thinking, "Well, along with the name, I think it'd be best if maybe I set some ground rules and expectations. I don't know how much you remember, but last night, you kind of got out of hand and I… um, spanked you. And it seemed to work. I was thinking that maybe that be some form of reprimand when you get a head of yourself." I told her.

"I remember that… and weirdly, it did make me feel better. It kind of felt like a weight lifted off of my chest. I felt better, I didn't like the sting, but in a weird way, some of the feelings I was feeling, went away for a little." She said.

I nodded, "Then I think we should start this. As a form of home therapy. It makes you feel better so I want to do it."

"How does it make you feel?" She asked, "We keep talking about my feelings, but we're not talking about yours."

I thought for a moment, "It doesn't make me feel any sort of way. It makes me feel better that you feel better."

"And what about when you have to s-spank me? How did you feel last night?" She asked.

"I didn't like it, but you needed it."

"You sound like a daddy." She giggled.

"Good, I need to sound like one." I chuckled.

We cuddled with each other for a bit, just basking in each other's warmth and love. I rubbed my hand in soothing circles on her back.

"So, what kind of rules were you thinking?" She asked.

"How about, you give me the day to really think them through, and then I'll write them down so you won't forget them? Does that sound good?" I asked.

She nodded.

"And, I'll give you some expectations of what kind of daddy I'll be to you. Fair?" He asked.

She smiled and nodded.

"Alright, you're not going to like this, but you and I need to visit Dr. Lee." I told her.


	8. Chapter 8

The Jungle Book is on Netflix! Love this new Live-Action version Disney is doing of their classic movies. Oh, and Beauty and the Beast is coming out with Emma Watson as Belle? Life is wonderful for a Disney fan right now! Anyway, chapter eight is up and ready to be read. Don't forget to leave a little review!

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Chapter Eight

She wasn't happy about having to see Dr. Lee. But I wasn't giving her a choice. She pouted, but I knew we had to do this.

When we got out of bed, I dressed her wounds.

"Bella, when did you do these?" I asked.

She looked down at her hips, "Um. Last night… in the shower."

I nodded; I had already thought of a couple rules. No locked doors, no hurting yourself. I was going to write them down for her though, so she wouldn't forget.

"I've bandaged these in a special way, if you bother them I'll spank you." I told her sternly.

She rolled her eyes, "I won't bother them." she said.

"Good. You better not." I said, "I'm going to shower, I want you to pick out an outfit and get ready okay?"

She nodded.

Bella's POV

I had mixed feelings about the whole daddy thing. I liked it, it made me feel better and loved. But I didn't know how he really felt. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable with it.

I picked out a pair of black leggings and a long sweater-shirt. Once I dressed I walked back into the bathroom, where Edward was showering. I did my usual morning routines. Then I began to brush my hair back and slid a black hair band.

I put my favorite pair of Ugg boats on, the ones that felt like slippers.

Edward had stepped out of the shower, drying himself off with his towel. He looked me over.

"You look very cute, sweetie." He told me, walking to the counter and kissing my cheek.

"Thank you," I said, clipping my necklace into its place.

He finished dressing, then ushered me downstairs for breakfast. He sat me at the island and started breakfast.

"I can make breakfast, you're doing a lot anyway," I said.

"Baby, it's daddy's job to do a lot. Now you just sit and color in your book." He had brought down the coloring book.

I sighed, and opened the colored pencils slowly, then I flipped through the book to find a page that interested me.

The pages were just a bunch of swirls and shapes, none of it was appealing one bit. I finally picked one and started coloring it.

Edward came over with eggs and toast, looking at my page, "I thought you weren't going to do it," he said, handing me a fork.

I closed the book and pushed it aside, "I really don't want to color it." I told him as I played with my food.

"Don't play with your food sweetie, eat it," he said, as he took a bite of his own food, "Why don't you want to color it?"

I shrugged, taking a small bite of the eggs, "It's just not interesting." I said.

"Hmm, okay that's fair. What kind of coloring book would interest you?" He asked.

"No coloring books. I don't want to color, it's stupid." I said with a bit of a whine.

"No whining little girl, and coloring is not stupid." He said, "It's good for you. I'll go back to the store and look for coloring books that might interest you."

"You don't have too. You're doing too much for me." I told him.

He gave me a look, "It's my job to do a lot for you sweetheart. Now, are you ready?" He asked.

My stomach suddenly sunk, I really did not want to see Dr. Lee. I hated her. She was a mean bitch.

"No. I-I don't want to go." I said.

He sighed as he put our plates in the sink, "Hon, we have to go. We have to find a healthy solution to try and help you." He said.

I crossed my arms and turned my face away from him. "I am not going. I'm not. I don't like her. And I don't want help." I peeked at him through the corner of my eye, wondering what he was doing.

"I'm going to go easy on you today sweetie, but we are going. You are tip toeing on the line." He told me.

I huffed, "I'm not going." I said stubbornly.

He walked around the island and lifted me off of the barstool. He gave me three hard swats on the rear and placed me, face first into the wall.

"I want you to rethink your attitude little girl. Then, when you've adjusted the attitude, we're going to see Dr. Lee."

I stomped my foot, "No! I'm not going! And I'm not changing my attitude!" I yelled, turning around and stepping away from the corner.

He raised an eyebrow, "When I get to three your butt better be back in that corner. 1… 2…" he counted slowly, then paused at two. I didn't move, "3…" he stood.

I ran back into the corner, facing it, "I'm in it now!" I yelled as he grabbed my upper arm.

"I said three, so now your chances are up, little girl." He said, pulling me to the couch.

I blushed furiously as he bent me over his lap. When he started to pull my pants down, I grabbed his hands.

"Please! I'm sorry! I'll listen!" I said.

He removed my hands from his and gathered both in one of his big hands. He then pinned them against my lower back. He continued to pull my pants down, leaving my underwear up.

I felt tears prick in the corner of my eyes.

"Why are you here?" He asked.

"Because your mean! And you don't listen!" I snarled.

He gave me a hard smack, which hurt like hell with my pants off.

"Try again." He said.

My lower lip started quivering, "I-I had an attitude and I didn't listen when you told me to face the corner." I said, the tears leaking out slowly.

He patted my butt, "Good girl, now I'm going to give you twenty. Ten for your attitude and ten for not listening. This is an easy spanking; the next time you don't listen to me you'll have more swats. I want you to count each one." He said.

"O-Okay." I said, my head falling down.

The first smack hurt, he was not gentle.

"O-one." I stuttered.

He struck again, "Two!" I squealed.

Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!

I counted each one, sobbing horribly on fifteen. He paused for a moment.

"Five more baby girl." He said.

Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!

"Twenty!" I sobbed.

He pulled me up and cradled me close in his arms. He rocked me as I sobbed into his shoulder.

"Shhh baby girl, it's over now." He rocked me.

"I-I'm so s-s-sorry daddy!" I cried into his shoulder.

"All is forgiven now my love. Shh, it's okay." He whispered gently, rubbing my back.

I stuck my thumb in my mouth as he rocked me. My butt was on fire. I took a deep breath, the weight that had been on my chest was now. I felt better.

He kissed my forehead, "I love you so much baby girl, you know that? I love you more than anything in this world." He said

"I love you too daddy. I'm sorry I'm bad girl." I said.

"You made a bad choice sweetie, you aren't a bad girl. You're a good girl who sometimes makes bad choices. That's why you need your daddy." He said, wiping my tears away with his thumbs.

I sniffled, "I'll make better choices daddy."

He smiled, "I know you will baby. Now, it's time to go see Dr. Lee. I don't want any more trouble or you'll get another spanking, understood?"

I nodded, "Yes daddy. I understand."

When we arrived at Dr. Lee's office, I became nervous again. I stalled while we were getting out of the car.

"I don't want to go daddy," I whimpered, holding his hand tightly.

He half smiled, "I know you don't baby, but we have too. Afterwards, if you're a good girl, I'll take you to go get a treat. How does that sound?" He said.

I smiled, "Okay, I'll go and be a good girl."

He kissed my forehead, "Good girl, now let's go before we're really late."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

She was nervous going into Dr. Lee's office. I could tell by the way she squeezed my hand. I kept her close to my side, so she wouldn't be so nervous.

"Hi, we're here to see Dr. Lee," I told the secretary.

"You can go right in, she's expecting you."

I lead Bella into the office. She was trembling. I put my arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple.

Dr. Lee was sitting in the chair across from the couch. Bella and I sat. Dr. Lee had a clipboard in hand.

"Nice to see you two together." She said, a slight tone in her voice.

"Yes, well, last night we had an incident… and we need to discuss what we can do to prevent incidents like this from happening." I said.

"I'd like to hear from Isabella." Dr. Lee said.

Bella shook her head and leaned into my side, I knew she wanted to sit on my lap. I wrapped my arm around her.

"It's okay baby," I told her.

Dr. Lee sighed in annoyance, "Isabella, would you please tell me what incident has happened?"

Bella bit her lip, "I'd rather Edward tell you…"

I nodded, "Okay baby," I kissed her forehead, "I'll tell you what happened, Bella's having a rough day."

Dr. Lee sighed again, "Well, please elaborate."

"Last night, at about two in the morning, I found Bella in the bathroom cutting her thighs and hips pretty badly. She was kept saying she was a whore and no good. It took me a few moments to get her to calm down, but she finally did." I said, stroking her hair.

"I see. Isabella, what was the reasoning for the cutting?" Dr. Lee asked, writing something down on her paper.

Bella shrugged, squeezing my hand, "I don't know…"

"You don't know? Are you sure you don't know?" Dr. Lee said, her gaze skewering a little.

"I started thinking and I couldn't really sleep." She said, I rubbed her back.

"Did you write what I asked you to write?" Dr. Lee asked.

"No. I don't want to write that. It's embarrassing." She said.

"Isabella, it would be very beneficial if you wrote this. I'd like to see the kind of molestation you're talking about." She said.

"Why do you need to see that?" I asked, curious as to why a counselor would want to make a patient relive their horror.

"Because, there are cases where patients might confuse molestation with different things. I'd like to know she's not confusing the molestation with her father with some other stressful relationship in her life." She said, giving me a pointed look.

The hair on my neck rose, "What do you mean by that?" I asked coldly, my arm tightening around Bella protectively.

"I don't mean to offend you Mr. Cullen, but I've seen this many times with women in the kind of relationship you two have."

"What kind of relationship is that?" I demanded.

"You're about seven or so years older than she is, am I correct? Relationships like that tend to have one partner dictate the actions of the other partner and the oppressed partner lashes out and will hurt themselves as a cry for help out of the relationship." She said.

I bit the inside of my cheek, getting mad and yelling at Dr. Lee would not help Bella.

"Dr. Lee, your intuition is very wrong. Bella and I have a great relationship and I want what's best for her. I know she's not confusing her father's horrible acts with anything." I said coldly.

"Well, I'd like to hear that from her. Isabella, can you tell me about your father molesting you." She demanded.

Bella started trembling, she shook her head, "I don't wanna talk about that." She said, a tear leaking from the corner of her eye.

"Look, we're not talking about that right now. We need to talk about things we can do to prevent these incidences from happening. And we need to discuss coping methods for Bella." I told her.

"Mr. Cullen, I would like you to leave so I could speak with Isabella. I need her to speak to me, not you." She said.

"I don't want you to leave!" Bella cried.

"I'm not leaving; can't you see she's close to having a breakdown? Why are you pushing her to have a breakdown?" I asked.

"I am not pushing her to a breakdown. But I can clearly see a young woman who is being controlled by a man and is trying to break free from your control." She said.

"I do not control Bella. I want her to have the help she needs. And you are not helping!" I snarled; how dare she insinuate I was controlling Bella.

"No need to get hostile, Mr. Cullen. I am trying to get through to Isabella. But she refuses to let down her walls with you around." Dr. Lee said.

"I don't want to come here anymore Edward." Bella cried, her lip trembling.

"Shhh, sweetheart, it's okay." I told her, "We're making her upset, when we should be trying to find a way to calm her. I am not controlling her, I love her and I want to help her. Stop suggesting that I am the one who has hurt her, you're only making her shut down even more." I said calmly.

"Well, hearing the incident from last night, I am not convinced. If you really want to help her, you need to have her committed to a facility where she can be monitored 24/7. She is suicidal and the longer you allow this continue the worse she will get. There is a wonderful facility that'll take her and keep an eye on her. She needs an emergency evaluation." Dr. Lee said.

"Hell no. I know she is not suicidal, she's hurting and she doesn't know how else to release the pain. I will not have her committed to a fucking a bed all day doped up on sleeping pills." I told her; Bella was quivering and crying horribly now.

"Mr. Cullen, you are making her mental state even worse. You may think you know her, but you do not. She needs to be separated from you. She needs to be in a facility where they'll monitor her. She is a danger to herself and you are a danger to her." She said.

I stood, "That's it, we're leaving Isabella." I said, Bella jumped to my side, hugging me closely.

"Mr. Cullen if you walk out that door you are risking her life. If you really love her you'd get her to have an emergency evaluation and have her committed." Dr. Lee said, standing with her arms crossed.

"We won't be coming back." I told her, before slamming the door.

Bella was sobbing, I wanted to hold her but I was afraid of causing more of a scene. Once we got in the car, I pulled her in my lap and cradled her.

"I don't want to come back daddy!" She cried into my shirt.

"We're not coming back baby, I promise." I said, rubbing her back, trying to calm myself down.

"I-I told you she was m-mean." She said.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you sweetie," I said, kissing her forehead.

After twenty minutes, she finally settled. I kissed her cheeks.

"Daddy, I don't want to go to counseling anymore." She said, her voice now in a higher pitched, childlike tone.

I stroked her hair, "We're not discussing this right now, okay sweetheart. Let's go get a treat, you were such a good girl. I'm sorry she was so mean to you."

"She was mean to you, daddy. Why was she so mean?" She asked.

"I don't know baby. The next counselor I will look deeper into their background. Let's just forget about that okay?" I said.

"Okay, daddy. I love you." She said.

"I love you too baby girl, I love you so much." I hugged her tightly and then kissed her cheek.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Daddy and I went to get frozen yogurt at my favorite place in downtown. While we ate our yogurt, we walked around and looked at all the shops. As we walked by an old toy store, my eyes lingered a bit on the stuffed animals.

Daddy noticed.

"Baby girl, would you like me to buy you a stuffed animal?" He asked.

I blushed, "I don't know… I don't think it would be appropriate for me…" I told him.

He gave me a look then tugged my hand into the store. I was blushing as we looked through the toys.

It wasn't socially acceptable for adults to want toys. I knew that. I was a twenty-year-old woman; women didn't play with toys.

He pulled me to the stuffed animals and almost immediately my eyes gazed upon the most precious of stuffed toys.

It was a little white bunny, with soft, fluffy fur, and a big blue bow around its neck. Its eyes were big and light blue. I smiled and reached out, stroking it gently.

"So you want that one Bella?" he asked.

I bit my lip… I really wanted the stuffed bunny, she was so cute and soft. But it really wasn't appropriate for a grown woman to have a toy, I never had any toys growing up; my mother took them all away from me.

I shifted on my feet, "D-do you think it'd be… c-childish for me to want it?" I asked.

"Absolutely not. I think that this little bunny needs a home and someone to take care of her. And I think she wants you to take her home with us." He said.

He had a point, she was homeless, "She does need a home… and I can take really good care of her," I said, "Can I get her? Please daddy?" I asked, my voice a little lower; there wasn't anyone here but I would be cautious.

He picked her off the shelf and handed her to me, "Yes you can sweetie, since you've been such a good girl today." He paid for the bunny.

I kept the bunny in the bag, but I desperately wanted to hold it in my hands. When we got back in the car to go home, I pulled her out of the bag and sat her on my lap.

"What are you going to name her baby?" He asked.

I thought for a moment, "I think Elsie is a good name for her." I smiled, rubbing the top of her head.

"Elsie is a very adorable name for a very adorable bunny." He chuckled.

I snuggled her to my face, loving the soft feel of the fur. I was glad that he bought Elsie for me; secretly I had been wanting a stuffed animal, but I never wanted to say anything.

Edward's POV

Bella really liked Elsie, I could see it from the way she looked at her and the way she held her. This was what she needed; I started to think about other things she'd need. She obviously liked the stuffed bunny, so maybe she'd like some other toys?

I really wish I had someone to speak to about this. What I should do, what I should buy for her. Just to make it easier and less stressful for both of us…

Later That Day

Bella fell asleep a sometime after we got home. She had had a rough day, so I wasn't shocked that her little body needed a nap. When I knew she was deeply asleep, I snuck away to make a phone call.

I called my mother, I knew that Bella wasn't too thrilled with me discussing things with my mother, but I needed to talk to someone who knew a little bit about this.

"Hey mom," I said as soon as she picked up.

"Hello Edward, how are you? How's Bella?" She asked, her voice filled with concern.

"I'm good mom, well, no, I'm not good. I worried." I said.

"About Bella?" She guessed.

"Yeah, I'm really worried. Last night, I caught her cutting herself again. She was totally out of it, she kept muttering she was a whore, she was no good… just awful stuff about herself. When I picked her up and pulled the razor away from her, that's when she really started to fight. Then I'll admit, I lost my patience, and I kind of… spanked her." I said, my cheeks reddening a little.

"Hmm, so, well she must have gotten caught up in her memories; what did you two do before this incident?" She asked.

"We had gone to her therapist, who turned out to be a complete bitch. I should have never taken her." I said.

"Why?"

"She wanted Bella to write down exactly what her father had done to her. The therapist thought Bella was having trouble because of our relationship. She thought I was the one hurting Bella. She believed that Bella was confused." I said.

"The therapist assumed all this? No wonder Bella was in such a horrible state of mind. You're her comfort, her safety. And add that on with having to relive what her father has done to her in such a horrible way. Bella is very fragile right now." She said.

"I know, but we're doing something new that I think is helping her a lot." I said.

"What is that?" She asked.

I cleared my throat of the lump in it, "Well, a couple times, when Bella was all zoned out, she called me daddy. And, now, we've decided that it would be best for her to continue to call me that. She's been doing it all morning and it seems to help her a lot. A couple of hours ago I bought her a toy, and it seems like she's really taking a liking to it." I said.

She paused for a couple of minutes, "I think, that maybe, you need to find a counselor who specializes in a 'daddy,' relationship, because this isn't uncommon. And, I believe that you should talk to Jasper and Alice."

Jasper was my cousin and Alice was his girlfriend, she and Bella were best friends.

"Why should I talk to them?" I asked.

"I really shouldn't leak out their personal lives, but Jasper and Alice have this kind of relationship. Maybe they could help you two find a balance." She said.

"Huh, I might give him a call after this." I said.

"You should. I'm glad that you and Bella have found something that's helping her. And you said that you bought her a toy earlier?"

"Yeah, a stuffed bunny."

"Okay, now I see what Bella is craving; she wants that love and attention she didn't receive as a child. And that comes out in childish tendencies. So, you've become her daddy, which doesn't mean she views you as her father, but rather her protector. Which is what a father should provide their child, but Bella never received that. This is perfectly normal." She said.

"Do you think this will be a forever thing?" I asked.

"Now, Edward, this may be a forever thing with Bella. But, if you aren't willing to still with this then you need to evaluate how you feel and talk to her about it." She said.

"No, no, I'm fine if this is permanent. If it makes her feel better, then we will stick to it. But, this can't just be a name change, there has to be rules and punishments that go along with it. If I'm expected to be her protector." I said.

"That makes sense. But, you also have to remember, sometimes she's an adult woman and will expect her rights. Once you set the rules you cannot use them sometimes, she'll get confused. But the rules must be reasonable." She said.

"Yeah. I need to start writing some down." I said.

"Writing them down is a good start, so she'll remember." She said.

"I need to do that now, while she's sleeping. I'll talk to you later, mom."

I set my phone down on the end table.

* * *

Someone pointed out that I switched between bunny and lamb; so sorry about that! I fixed it!


	11. Chapter 11

New Chapter! Woo!

* * *

Chapter Eleven

I yawned, stretched and sat up. The room was dimly lit. I swung my legs over the bed, a little bit of panic setting in; where was Edward? I had never woken up without him, he always waited for me to wake up.

"E-Edward?" I called out.

Quick footsteps sounded up the stairs, Edward walked through the door.

"I'm right here Bella." He said, walking around the bed and hugging me.

"W-why weren't you here?" I asked, quivering a bit.

He stroked my head, "I'm sorry honey, I was downstairs in the office working." He said.

I nodded, still trying to calm my breathing. I thought he left me. I don't know what'd I'd do if he left… but I couldn't blame him, I was so fucked up… maybe he should leave me.

"Stop that," He said abruptly.

"Stop what?" I asked in a small voice.

"You have that look on your face. The look you have when you're about to tell me to leave you." He said.

I blushed, then hiccupped, "You're really good at reading me." I told him.

"That's why I make a good daddy for you," He kissed my forehead, "Let's go downstairs, I made you dinner and I wrote down some rules." He said.

I nodded and held his hand tightly; I was still feeling panicked and I just wanted him close.

When I sat down at the counter, I found that he had made me a crust-less peanut butter and jelly sandwich shaped in a heart and he had also cut up strawberries, my favorite fruit. There was a tall cold glass of chocolate milk. I blushed.

"You didn't have to go through all this trouble." I told him.

"Eat," he said, pointing to the food. I nodded and took a bit of my sandwich.

"Alright, so I wrote down all the rules, and I did take into consideration that you are also an adult. So I don't think they're too demanding, but you and I will agree upon which rules work and which don't." He said.

I nodded and reached out for the paper. His sloppy doctor's script somewhat difficult to read for someone who hasn't known this man for a while.

 _Rules for Bella and Edward_

 _1._ _No cutting or hurting yourself whatsoever; if you are having a bad day call me and I will pick up no matter what. This will result in an automatic spanking, no corner time._

 _2._ _No calling yourself names._

 _3._ _I will keep my phone on me 24/7 and in emergencies, such as you're having a bad day, I will always answer. But you must not abuse this._

 _4._ _I will always calm myself before a spanking, you will never receive a spanking out of anger._

 _5._ _You get one warning, and that warning is facing the corner so you can rethink your actions._

 _6._ _If you are still acting up after corner time, then you will receive a spanking._

 _7._ _If I believe that you should or shouldn't do something, then please be considerate and understand that I'm forbidding or allowing this for a good reason._

 _8._ _I expect you to participate in counseling, once we find a good, understanding counselor._

 _9._ _Bed time is when I say, but if there is something special occurring, we can discuss staying up later._

 _10._ _Any exercises that helps you, I expect them to be done._

 _11._ _Please have a respectful tone when speaking to me, I understand if you become angry, but I do expect respect, and I shall respect you in turn._

 _12._ _I am never going to leave; you are stuck with me. But, if for some reason, I'm not where I'm supposed to be and I don't give you warning, call me or text me._

 _13._ _Whatever you need, that you feel will benefit you in a healthy way, I will get it for you. Unless it's harmful or dangerous._

 _14._ _On your days off from school, you are allowed to work on homework for three hours and no more, unless there is a large test or essay due, then I will allow leeway under my supervision to insure that you are not becoming overwhelmed._

 _15._ _Just because you don't like a rule we agree upon right now doesn't mean you can ignore it._

 _16._ _I can make or take away rules, if I believe they will or aren't helping you. But, I promise we will discuss it before I do this._

 _17._ _I will never set you up to make a mistake._

 _18._ _Any punishment, whether it's corner time, spanking, writing lines, will never be an unjustified punishment._

 _19._ _No whining or pouting, I understand that sometimes I may be unfair, but I expect you to behave like the little lady you are._

 _20._ _I want to know where you're going to be if you leave campus or the house; I request this because I want to know you are safe._

"So what do you think?" He asked when I set the paper down.

I nibbled on a strawberry for a moment, "Do you think it's too much? I mean, we should be enjoying each other as fiancés. I'm burdening you too much, you'll be too busy taking care of me that you won't be able to take care of yourself."

He frowned, "Bella, I am so worried about you. Knowing that you're hurting and I can't snap my fingers and make it goes away kills me. I'm a healer, that's why I'm in the medical profession. If you broke your arm, then I could help you in an instant. Give you a cast and kiss it and you'd be all better. I am willing to do anything that'll help you; no matter if it takes a month, a year, or if it's forever." He said strongly.

"Can you really do this forever? What if I can never be helped? You deserve a fiancé that can take care of you too. This can't be a one-way street, it's not right and it's not fair. What if you get sick of it?" I asked.

"I can do this for however long it takes. And you do take care of me, in a way. I love taking care of you, you refuse to allow me to buy you anything extravagant and I want to spoil you. So, in a way, I get my jollies in by taking care of you. This isn't a one-way street, you're not the only one who's benefiting from this," he leaned over the island and kissed my forehead, "I love you so much Bella, I'd walk across a burning flame or dive into an icy lake if that meant helping you."

I blushed, "I love you too." I said.

He walked around the counter and hugged me tightly, "I love you so much Bella, you don't even realize how you've completed my life and made it worth living." He kissed my forehead.

"Alright, now, let's see about these rules huh?" He asked, letting go of me.

I nodded and ate a couple of strawberries, "I'm okay with everything. It all seems reasonable, but, I don't agree with only three hours to work on homework. I need more time than that." I told him.

"Bella, I've watched you work on your homework, you write then rewrite things over a thousand times. You get stressed to the point of tears. I just want to make this as stress free as possible, but if you have a test coming up or a big project, I'll let you have more time." He said.

I frowned, "I don't know, what if I start to fail?" I asked.

"You have the highest grades of the class; you won't fail honey. But, you know you don't need to spend that much time on homework." He said.

I sighed, "Okay, I'll agree to it, but if I do start failing then we raise the time okay?" I said.

He nodded, "Alright, if that does happen, we will discuss it." He said.

I nodded, "Since we're making rules, I was wondering if there was um, something we could start doing?" I asked.

"Sure what is it?" he asked.

I blushed and looked down, "Could you keep bathing me by chance? And making my food? I-I really like it…" I said.

He kissed my forehead, "Of course baby."

* * *

What do you guys think of the rules? Reasonable? Harsh? Don't forget to review!


	12. Chapter 12

I wanted to put another chapter up because I do like this story. But, going to say this... if you are not a fan of the story or my writing, you're not obligated to read it. I'm doing my best to research this kind of therapy, because it is something that a few people who have suffered from a childhood trauma have tried and it helped them. I'm doing my best with the editing too, but I am a college student and writing these little stories are a little escape from the real world. :)

* * *

Chapter Twelve

I was glad she agreed to all the rules, I thought of them carefully, wanting to make sure I wasn't being too demanding or overbearing.

Now that the rules were agreed on, I needed to talk to her about speaking with Jasper and Alice.

"So, uh, Bella, I don't want you to get mad okay? But I talked to my mom when you were sleeping."

She gave me a look, "Edward…" her voice had a little bit of anger laced through it.

I held my hand up, "I know I know, but I needed someone to talk to. And my mom told that Jasper and Alice know a little something about this type of relationship." I told her.

"You didn't tell them did you?" She asked, her eyes wide.

"No, I haven't talked to them. But I'd like to. If we could have some support in this that would be great." I told her.

"I don't know Edward. I want this to be between us. It's bad enough that your mother already knows." She said, her cheeks tinted red.

"But maybe having someone to talk to that has the same relationship as us may help. They could give us pointers, and ways to find a good balance with your adult side and your little girl side." I told her.

She shrugged, "True. But, it's just embarrassing to talk about." She said.

"I understand. If you want, I could do the talking?" I offered.

Her lips pursed together; something she did when she was thinking.

"I think it would be alright to talk with them. I just don't want to talk to them about me… hurting myself." She blushed.

"Of course honey. But we don't have to tell them anything until you're ready." I told her.

She smiled a little, "Okay that works for me. We can tell them later."

"Good, alright baby are you done? Because it's bath time." I told her.

I put her plate in the sink then lifted her off the chair. She clutched me tightly, smiling as she laid her head against my shoulder. She liked this too, me holding her. I didn't mind, she was so light. I'd hold her every chance I could.

I set her on the closed toilet lid and kneeled down to run the bath.

"We should get some bubble bath stuff." She said.

"We should." I said, checking the temperature.

Once it was filled I lifted the shirt over her head and then took her pants off. Once she was completely nude, I lifted her and gently lowered her into the tub. She sighed contently as the warm water soothed her skin.

"It feels nice daddy." She said.

"Good," I said, grabbing the wash cloth and scrubbing her skin.

The Next Day

Bella's POV

I stayed up half the night thinking about Jasper and Alice. I thought the kind of relationship that Edward and I had was rare, if not we were the only ones. I didn't even know that Alice had a weird relationship with her boyfriend.

She never told me they did. But, I guess it wasn't something you shared with everyone.

Edward stretched and rolled over, his eyes open.

"Good morning." He said in a sleep riddled voice.

"Morning," I said snuggling closer to him.

We cuddled for a few moments before it was time to get out of bed.

"Alright, time to get up." He said lifting up.

I sighed and got out of the bed. He was right, it was time to get up. I had school and he had work.

"I'm going to go shower and shave, be out in a minute." He said, kissing my forehead.

As he showered I went downstairs and made myself a bowl of cereal. He'd need to go soon, so he couldn't make me breakfast.

He stepped into the kitchen, setting his medical bag down by the door.

"I was going to go shopping after I got off from work. Will you be okay by yourself for like another hour?" He asked.

"That's fine daddy, what are you shopping for?" I asked, scooping some more cereal onto my spoon and into my mouth.

"Just some things nosey," He tapped my nose.

I pouted, "Awe, c'mon tell me." I said with a little smile.

He chuckled "No, no it's a surprise." He said.

I sighed and finished up my cereal. He grabbed an apple and coffee cup then walked around the counter and kissed me.

"Bye honey, I'll see you later. Be good today." He said.

"I will, bye daddy." I said.

A Few Hours Later

I got home after school, slinging my backpack to the floor. I slumped back onto the couch, wanting to do nothing more than wind down after a long day.

I kicked my shoes off and walked upstairs to get Elsie, she was laying on our bed. Once I retrieved my little bunny, I went back downstairs and sat on the couch, snuggling Elsie tightly in my arms.

I flipped through the channels and settled on a movie on Disney. It was the movie, 'Brave,' one I had desperately wanted to see in theaters, but was too afraid to ask him to take me. It just started too, my lucky night.

I sat up, hugging my knees and watching intently.

Edward's POV

I ran straight to Target when I was released from work. I was on a mission, there were things that we needed, that I thought would be beneficial for Bella.

I grabbed a cart and set to work, going straight to the craft section. The last time I was here, I had seen some other coloring books, then I didn't think Bella would be interested in them but now I was thinking different.

I grabbed a Disney princess book, a kitten book, and a couple other ones that I assumed little girls would like. I also got her an insane amount of colored pencils of every shade as well as the thin markers that went along with the colored pencils.

Once we were fully stocked on coloring products I grabbed some of the playdoh of every color. Bella would probably like some craft stuff, she was always making something. I looked down the aisle and found a beading kit, I grabbed one. Maybe she'd like to bead too?

"Edward?" Said a familiar voice.

I turned around to see Alice and Jasper standing in the aisle, Alice was holding a basket with a coloring book in it.

"Oh, hey guys," I said, my face turning a bit red, this was embarrassing.

Alice looked into my cart, "What do you have going on here?" She asked.

I did my best 'not a big deal,' look, "Oh, um, it's nothing really." I said.

She gave me a look, "Okay, where has Bella been? She hasn't texted me back. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. Me and Bella have just been busy." I said.

She paused, looked at the contents in my cart for a little bit then looked at me, "Edward, are you and Bella, um, going through some stuff?" She asked.

"No, our relationship is fine." I said, getting a bit defensive.

"Hmm, well, did you guys adopt a five-year-old girl?" She asked.

I sighed, "No, Alice we didn't."

Another quiet pause, "Then why are you getting all this stuff?"

I sighed again, "It's nothing Alice. Bella doesn't want me discussing it with anyone, okay? So drop it please." I asked.

"But-," she started in a whine.

"Alice, Edward asked you to drop it. So drop it." Jasper said sternly. Alice sighed with an eye roll.

I paused myself, rocking on my toes, "I was just buying some things that Bella and I need for this thing we're doing." I said.

Jasper nodded, seeming to understand exactly what we were doing, "Okay, well, if you need to talk just give me a call." He said.

Jasper tried to keep walking but Alice lingered, "You know what's a really good thing you need? Footies! You'll need a medium, they sell them in the grown up jammies section and they come in all designs!" Alice said, a big smile on her face.

"Well, thank you Alice I'll be sure to remember that." I said.

"Come on Alice, let's leave Edward alone." Jasper said, putting his hand on her arm.

"Bye Edward! You and Bella should most definitely come over and talk! Plus, I need a friend to play with me with my new dollhouse." She said with a cheeky smile.

I nodded, "Thanks." I called before they left aisle.

I headed for the toy section, which was rather close to the craft section. I figured I probably looked like a creep looking at the different dolls and what not. I found a ton of bubble bath stuff, I remembered last night that she had asked for some. I grabbed a couple of the colorful bubbles, then a large thing of regular bubbles, a little rubber duck with a pink bow, and an art kit full of paints and different brushes for the tile in the bathroom.

Once I finished in the toy section, I headed to the kids book aisle. I grabbed a ton of different books, mostly Disney princess books, and a few others. Then I went into the movie aisle.

There were dozens, I grabbed as many as I could, I didn't really know which ones she'd like, so I just made my best guesses and grabbed them. Then I gathered many of the Disney movies and cartoons that I thought she'd enjoy.

With my cart now full, I started to the cash registers, but paused when I passed the PJ section. Hmm, I could see adult sized onesies, the kind that Alice was talking about. Slowly, I made my way towards the pjs.

There were many varieties and different colors. I grabbed a light blue one, blue was her favorite color, I knew this. I also grabbed a purple one in case she wanted some variety.

By this point, my cart was very eyebrow raising. It would be strange for a man to be buying all these things. I didn't care, no one knew what was really going on and they didn't know to know.


	13. Chapter 13

Happy Monday everyone! Last week of finals for me! Thank the lord! Anyway, don't forget to leave a little review before you exit!

Chapter Thirteen

I carried several bags into the house, the house was very quiet. It worried me a bit; I set the bags down on the island counter and walked into the living room. The TV was on, Bella was snoozing, laying across the couch, an empty coffee mug grasped tightly in her hand and Elsie snuggled under her chin. I smiled and sat on the part of the couch that was occupied.

I gently shook her leg, "Wake up Bella." her eyelashes fluttered open.

She sat up, rubbing her eyes, "Hi daddy, I didn't hear you come in." She said in a sleepy voice.

"I just got here," I said with a smile, "Do you want to come see what I've bought?" I asked.

She nodded, sitting up and stretching, "Yeah, let me see." She said.

I went and grabbed all the bags from the counter then walked back into the living room. She perked up when she saw the bags.

"So, I got a ton of stuff that I thought you'd like and we need," I said going through the bags, "I got some more beads, some playdoh, some other coloring books that I thought might not be boring. I also got some new bath stuff," I pulled out all the bath stuff, "It's a painting kit and different colored bubbles."

She was smiling widely as I pulled out each item.

"I also got some books and movies," I showed her each.

"Can we read that one tonight before bedtime?" She asked.

"Of course, we can lay in bed and read it to wind down to." I said, stroking her hair.

She smiled, "Can you rock me in the big chair and read it instead, please?"

"Yes I can since you asked so nicely. Would you like to get me a rocking chair for the bedroom? We can order one." I said.

She bit her lip, contemplating the idea, "That sounds like a good idea, we should order it now so we can get it soon." She said.

"Alright, I'll order it in a little while. Have you eaten dinner?" I asked as I put things away.

"No. I was waiting for you." She said with a grin.

I nodded, "That's good, I brought home some Chinese."

She smiled, and hugged Elsie against her chest.

"Will you get set the table and put the plates out? Please?" I asked.

Bella's POV

I sat Elsie on the couch and went into the kitchen, pulling out the plates for dinner. I also grabbed silverware and cups. I grabbed a soda for myself and a water for Edward, he was a health nut.

"No, Bella, no soda." He said, taking the can from my hand.

"What?" I said, eyebrows scrunching.

"It's late Bella, and soda keeps you awake and makes your sleep restless. There's some juice in there if you want." He said.

I made a face, "I don't want juice, I want a soda." I said.

"I understand that. But at lunch today you had a soda. I'm limiting your sugar intake to one soda a day." He said, arms crossing.

I groaned and rolled my eyes, "Okay. I'll have juice," I said, making a face.

"Watch the attitude little girl," He threatened.

I smiled widely, "Sorry daddy." I said as I grabbed the juice.

We only had the juice in the container, not any in the box.

"Daddy, can we buy juice boxes?" I asked.

"Sure, why don't you make a list of things we need? Hmm?" He asked.

"That's a good idea. I'll make one when you order the rocking chair." I said with a cheeky smile.

He set the food on the plates and we sat down and started eating.

"So I ran into Alice and Jasper at the store." He said.

I nodded and scooped up some chicken, "That's cool. How were they doing?" I asked.

"They were fine. They said that if we needed to talk, we could come to them. I think they figured out what we're doing from the contents of my cart. I didn't tell them I swear." He said, one hand raised.

I nodded, "What did they say?" I asked.

"Nothing much, Alice was just wondering why you haven't been messaging her back. Then she said that she really wanted us to come over and talk about this stuff because she'd like a new playmate. She said she got a new dollhouse." He said.

Hmm, someone to play with… that actually sounded fun. I'd like to know how Alice balances big life and little life. She's never shown in the many years I've known her. She must be good at hiding it.

"When can we talk to them?" I asked.

"Anytime you want. I can call Jasper and we can meet up tomorrow night at their house if you like?" He asked.

I thought for a moment, "That sounds good. I think it'll be alright if we talk. But, would you do the talking?" I asked

"Absolutely baby, I'll talk to them. you don't have to say anything." He said, smiling widely.

I smiled back, "Thank you." I said.

We finished eating and retreated into the study. He handed me some of the things he bought today for me to pick from. I grabbed the princess coloring book and the thousands of colored pencils.

I flipped through the book and found a picture of Belle in the library with Beast. I smiled, she was my favorite princess.

Edward sat at his computer and starting looking at rocking chairs.

An Hour Later

I was almost finished with the picture when Edward announced it was bath time.

"Nooo! I'm almost done daddy! Please, just five more minutes." I begged, holding page close to my chest.

"Isabella, it's getting late. And if you want to give up story time then get up now." He said sternly.

I pouted, "No. I want just five more minutes' daddy." I said, scrunching my face.

"Isabella, absolutely not. It's bath time." He said, arms crossing now, he was serious.

I growled and threw the book down along with the colored pencils, which scattered everywhere. He grabbed me up by the arm and placed me in the corner.

"After five minutes, you're going to clean this mess up, then you are going to go take a bath." He said.

I stepped out of the corner, facing him now, "No! I just want five minutes! A stupid five minutes! You're being a mean daddy!" I stomped.

He skewered me with a look, "Isabella Marie, you are dangerously close to a spanking." He said.

I made the meanest face I could; he was being unfair. He could let me have five minutes to finish.

"Alright, come on." He said, sitting down in the computer chair, "Over my knees." He said.

I blushed and stomped some more, "Nooooooo! I don't want a spanking! You're not being fair! You're being a mean daddy!" I fell to the floor, tears flowing freely down my face. I pounded my fists and kicked the floor.

I screamed and screamed and screamed. Until I was out of breath. When I was quiet, and all the cries were out of my system I looked up; he was still sitting in the computer chair, an unreadable look on his face.

"Are you finished?" He asked.

I pouted, "I don't know." I said looking down at the floor and tracing the carpet with my finger.

"It certainly seems like you're done. Now, come over here so we can get this over with." He said.

"I-I'm still getting a spanking?" I asked.

"Yes. You had your warning. Now let's get this over with so we can go take a bath and read." He said, smoothing his pant legs down.

I started up slowly, shaking as I went. Slowly, I walked to him, my stomach in knots. Once I was directly in front of him, he smiled gently, then slowly pulled down my pants.

He helped me over his knee. I was blushing horribly as he was staring down at my panties, of course the thin material did little to protect me from the sting.

"Isabella, I want you to tell my why you're in this position." He said.

I sighed, wishing he'd just go ahead and spank me, "I threw a temper tantrum." I said.

"You're here because you didn't listen after the warning. Then you proceeded to throw yourself onto the floor and scream about like a wild monkey. That behavior is not acceptable in this household." He said, resting his hand on my bottom.

"I'm sorry." I said.

He patted my bottom, then lifted his hand. I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing exactly what was coming.

The first smack is always the most surprising. I gasped and gripped his pant leg, gasping as a flurry of stinging smacks.

I tried my best not to squeal out, but soon the smacks were too much. My bottom was on fire; who knew that hands that had always been so gentle and loving could bring so much pain?

I did deserve it though. He asked me nicely and I threw a temper tantrum like a big brat. I knew better. I felt guilty, I shouldn't have thrown my pencils or my book and I shouldn't have rolled around on the floor like a wild monkey.

"I'm sorry daddy! I'm so sorry I was a bad girl! I won't throw my pencils or my book or anything ever again! I'm sorry daddy!" I said.

The final smack was the worst one, it stung horribly and would be the one I'd remember. He lifted me up and snuggled me into his chest.

"Shhh baby, shhh, it's over now," he said as he rocked me, rubbing his hands on my back soothingly, "All is forgiven."

"I-I'm s-s-sorry I'm b-bad girl!" I cried into his chest.

"No, no, no, you made a bad choice baby doll, but you're not a bad girl. It's okay sweetheart, I love you so much you know that?" He asked.

I sniffled, he wiped my tears away with his thumbs, "Do you love me even when I make bad choices?" I asked, my lower lip pouted out.

"Of course I do. I love you even when you make bad choices. I always love you, no matter what you do," He kissed my nose, "Now, would you like to go take a bubble bath? Then read a book?" He asked.

I smiled a little and nodded.


	14. Chapter 14

I honestly didn't realize how many people liked this story. I'm so floored with all the positive feedback. It's amazing! Thank you guys so much! I've made the decision to not take the story down. Everyone is right, a gutless guest reviewer is not going to run me off. I love the story I've written and I am proud of it. If you don't like it, then move onto the next! But seriously everyone, thank you. It truly means a lot. Anyway, here is chapter fourteen! I hope you enjoy it!

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Chapter Fourteen

Edward had called Jasper and asked if we could come over and talk tonight after get got off work. It was Edward's early night, so we'd be going over there for dinner. I had knots in my tummy; I was scared.

The change in relationship was new to both Edward and I. I loved it, and from what I could tell he liked it too, but I still wasn't comfortable discussion it with anyone. But, Edward assured me, that Alice and Jasper had the same relationship we did. He really wanted to talk to them because they could help us find a good balance.

I tried to look on the more positive side of things; someone to play with who thought and acted the same way I did was appealing. Alice and I had been best friends since we were younger, she could help me through this.

I rolled over and stretched my arm over the empty side of the bed. On Edward's early days, he had to go in super early. I hated waking up without him, but this had been something he's been doing since before I met him.

It was about nine o'clock, time for me to get out of bed. I had things to do around that house.

I got out of bed and showered. I didn't want to take a bath because that was something that Edward and I did together, and I wanted to keep it that way. It did feel weird though, showering. As I showered, I did my best not to look at the healing marks on my skin, seeing them would only make me want to cut again.

I got out, pushed my hair back with a hair band and changed into a pair of old leggings and a baggy shirt.

I started the Keurig when I got downstairs. Edward got the pumpkin spice flavoring since Fall officially started yesterday. That meant all my favorite flavors were out! And I was craving some pumpkin flavored coffee.

I made my cup and sat down in the living room, turning on the news. Of course, nothing interesting was on, so I flipped through a couple of channels, and found early morning cartoons. I paused on that channel then put the remote down.

I started to smile as I watched; this show was actually appealing. It was called Doc McStuffins and I absolutely loved it. Lamby reminded me of Elsie, who was sitting and watching it with me.

I finished my coffee and turned the television off, I needed to start on my daily chores. I put the clean dishes away, vacuumed the carpets, wiped down the surfaces, swept the back porch, and did anything else that needed to be done.

That took about two hours, not long at all. Since I didn't work, I felt as though this was my contribution to the household, Edward paid the bills and I did the household chores.

Later That Day

Edward got home at about four thirty, I was sitting at the counter coloring in the princess book. I finished Belle and had moved onto a Cinderella picture now.

Edward kissed my cheek, "Hey baby, how was your day?" He asked.

I smiled, "It was good. I cleaned the house, worked on my homework and colored a little. How about yours?" I asked.

"It was good, short, but good." He took his coat off, "Are you excited for tonight?"

I frowned a bit, "Excited isn't a good work for it. I'm really nervous." I said.

He nodded, "What are you nervous about?" he asked.

I sighed, "I just… don't want them to judge me."

He nodded, "They won't judge you. They're our family. They love you and they want you to be healthy." He said.

I nodded, "I know. It's just embarrassing to sit there while people talk about my problems." I said.

"Would you rather do the speaking?" He asked.

I shook my head quickly, "No, I don't want to do the talking."

"Okay," he said then reached across the counter and stroked my hand, "Is there anything you don't want me to tell them?" He asked.

"Could you not tell them about…" I gestured to the cuts on me.

"Of course honey. I won't."

An Hour and a Half Later

When we pulled into Jasper's and Alice's house, my stomach twisted into tight knots. I nibbled my lip.

"I-I'm scared." I said.

Edward turned off the car, "I know honey. But remember, if you get really, really scared, Elsie is in your purse. Take it to the bathroom if you need cuddles. Or we'll rock in a room by ourselves. Jasper and Alice aren't going to judge us. It'll be alright." He said, kissing my temple.

I took a deep breath, "Okay. Let's go."

"Hey guys!" Alice said as she opened the door. Her usual perkiness still there.

She bounced forward and hugged us.

"Hey Alice," I said, basking in her love; I missed her.

She pulled us through the door. Their home was decorated in a sleek color scheme. Alice was deep into design and what not. She helped me and Edward decorate our house when we bought it.

Jasper was standing in the kitchen, holding a glass of red wine, "Hey," he and Edward clapped hands and shook in a friendly manner, "Nice to see you." He offered Edward a glass.

"Likewise. It's been awhile." Edward chuckled as he took the glass.

Alice was holding onto my arm, smiling just as widely as I was. I was really grateful to Alice, I owed her a lot. She introduced Edward and I. She believed we were a perfect match and of course she was right.

Alice handed me a glass of white wine, "Will you help me finish dinner? You're the one that is good at cooking." She said, leading me into the kitchen.

She leaned against the counter as I peeked into the oven and looked into the pots on the stove.

"It's nice to see you, beings it's been like three weeks since the last time we hung out." She said.

"Sorry, I've been busy with school." I said, taking a swig of wine. Fruity and delicious.

"Mmm hmm, too busy to answer my texts too?" She said with a pointed look.

I chuckled, "I'm sorry! It's been a little hectic!" I laughed.

She sighed, "So, you guys are into the whole 'daddy,' thing now?" She asked.

I blushed, took a sip of wine, and started stirring the contents in the pot. I didn't want to answer her.

"Hey, it's okay. You're not alone here. Jazzy and I are way into the lifestyle." She said.

"So it's a lifestyle?" I asked.

"Mm hmm, a wonderful one too! We love it." She said happily.

"Why do you guys do it?" I asked, finally turning around.

She thought for a moment, "Well, I think it might have something to do with my dad leaving me. Some people are more sexual with it, but for me, it's just about comfort and happiness. I don't know, it kind of fills this hole in my chest that I think my biological dad left." She said, rubbing a spot on her chest, then she looked up at me, "Why did you and Edward start it?" She asked.

I bit my lip. I didn't really want to get into the details about all of this. Edward said I didn't have too.

"It's just kind of something we started. It helps me." I said, finishing off my wine.

"C'mon tell me! I'm your best friend! I need to know!" She said, putting her glass down.

"I don't really want to go into details Alice." I said.

She sighed dramatically, "Okay," she drew out the word, "Do you want to see my room?" She asked.

"I've already seen your room Alice." I was confused.

She grabbed my hand, "No come on! Let me show you!" She said.

We walked passed Jasper and Edward.

"We're going into my room daddy!" Alice said; she was so confident.

She lead me to a door in the back, took out a key and unlocked it. She looked back at me with a wide smile. She opened the door and revealed a bright pink room.

The carpet was white and the walls were pink. There were pictures of ballerinas on the wall in various poses and positions. A white rocking chair was in the corner beside an end table with a frilly lamp on it.

In another corner was a three storied doll house, beside it was a bin full of Barbie's. A little table was against the wall by a self that held coloring books, paints, crayons, markers and various other craft items. A white with pink trim was on the floor and it was overflowing with toys.

There was a twin sized bed against the wall by a small dresser. The bedspread was white with pink frill. On the bed was an army of stuffies. This was a room for a little girly girl, I imagine. It had a lot of toys and decorations that would be perfect for a little girl.

"This is your room? I asked.

"Mm hmm; on my days that are just bad, I'll sleep in here. My little girl clothes are in there." She pointed to the dresser.

"Can I open it?" I asked.

She nodded; I opened it and found frilly, little girl underwear in the top drawer. Beside the underwear were different kind of little girl socks. I opened the second drawer and found PJ's, a few like the ones Edward got me and then some dresses and other matching PJ's.

"Do you have any jammies?" She asked.

"Edward bought me some foot PJ's last night, but I'm too scared to wear them. I feel like I'll look stupid." I said with a blush.

She grabbed my hand, "You wouldn't look stupid. You're only wearing them in front of your daddy." She said.

I twisted the hem of my shirt, biting my lip. I didn't want to look stupid; Edward didn't force me to wear them, but I really wanted to. But I was too afraid of looking stupid and then he'd want to leave.

"This is Alice's room." Jasper said as he and Edward walked into the room.

"I designed it myself and it's perfect!" Alice said with a little bounce.

Edward nodded, inspecting the room carefully, "This isn't a bad idea," he looked to me, "Bella would you want to turn the spare bedroom into a room for you?" He asked.

I looked down with red ears and shrugged. It sounded like a good idea, but I'd rather talk about it just the two of us.

"You should do it! I love my room! Plus, I can keep my toys and clothes in here and lock the door and no one knows except me and my daddy." Alice said.

Edward put his hand on my shoulder, "We can talk about it later, but I think this is a very good idea." He said.

"Me too." I whispered.

"Bella you want to play dolls with me?" Alice asked.

"Not right now Alice, it's dinner time. Maybe after wards you two can play." Jasper said.

Alice sighed heavily, "Okay, dinner is ready anyways." She said.

The conversations went back to normal at the dinner table. Edward and Jasper talked about their work and Alice and talked about school and what not.

When dinner was over, Alice and I cleaned the dishes while Edward and Jasper went to the back porch to talk privately.


	15. Chapter 15

If the lettering is green, sorry about that. It's showing up green and I'm not 100% sure how to make it black haha. Here is chapter 15, I hope you love it! Just finished baking 1,100 cookies for operation blue Christmas tomorrow. I am exhausted, no more cookies! And a specific shout out to Kerrion, you could not have said it better myself. You're awesome. Love you. And thank you to all the other reviewers who are being so positive! Love you guys too! Anyway, here is chapter 15! Enjoy!

Chapter Fifteen

Edward's POV

Jasper and I retreated to the back porch; I sat in one their expensive lawn chairs. Jasper sat across from me.

"So how long have you two been doing this?" I asked him.

Jasper drummed his fingers on the armrest, "Well, it was about six months into us dating when I found out she liked it. A couple times, when she wasn't paying close attention to herself she slipped and called me daddy. Then I outright asked her and she told me that she had always wanted that kind of relationship. Personally, I never really thought about it, I always figured it was a sexual thing. But I guess in some cases it can be therapeutic," He said, "So how did you and Bella figure out you two want to do this lifestyle?" He asked.

I leaned back, "Well, she doesn't want me to go into great detail and I have to respect that. Something happened and it escalated from there. Then we ended up here." I said, staring off at their pool.

"Are you okay with it?" He asked.

"I'm fine with it. This helps her, and I want to help her. She needs this," I ran my hand through my hair, "I just want to know if I'm being fair. And if I have a good balance." I said.

He nodded, rubbing his chin, "The first couple of weeks, it's a struggle to find that balance. Why do you feel you're being unfair?"

"Yesterday she threw a temper tantrum. It started with me wanting her to put her coloring stuff away and take a bath. So, I had to spank her for throwing her stuff and just having a very bad tantrum. She said I was being unfair because all she wanted was five minutes to finish her coloring. And then I started to think about it and maybe I was being unfair." I shrugged.

"First off, you weren't being unfair, you were being her daddy. And I've learned that when Alice doesn't get her way, everything is unfair. And when she's getting punished it's unfair, no matter what she's done." He said.

I chuckled, "I guess I let her get to me. But I know she needed the spanking. I've set rules in place and if we both don't follow them; then how functional can this be?" I said.

"The rules are very important. Alice and I have them, she knows them, but she still breaks them." He said.

"Why?" I asked.

He thought for a moment, "I honestly don't know. Why do little kids break the rules?" He said.

"True," I said, "What are some of your rules?"

"Bed time is at ten thirty every night, unless we're at a party or event. She can only take her sassiness so far. She has to pick up all her toys and pick up after herself. She can't go overboard with shopping or spending an insane amount of money. And a few others," he said.

I nodded, "All that seems fair. Our rules aren't too bad. I don't think so. We both sat down and talked about them and decided one which ones were fair and what not." I said.

He nodded, "It's important to discuss these things. I could see that Bella was really… hesitant. How did she like the stuff you bought last night?" He asked.

"She loved all of it, but I still felt like we were missing stuff. I was thinking about taking her to Target after this and picking stuff out together." I said.

"That's a good idea, but be careful about buying stuff for her every day. She'll get used to it and then when you stop doing it or limit it, she'll have a tantrum. Trust me, Alice had a hard time when I limited how much I was going to buy her at a time." He said, shuddering obviously reliving a memory.

I nodded, "I just want to get all the stuff I need for her. I was actually thinking about getting her a bottle or a sippy cup," I said, "But I wasn't sure if she'd be okay with it. She wouldn't wear the PJ's last night."

He nodded, "Alice has a sippy cup and the PJ's. But, in the beginning I had to kind of push her to wear them and take it. I only pushed so far though because I knew she really wanted to. But she was embarrassed."

I nodded, "I just don't want to push her to hard, but I can tell she wants to wear them."

"She might be embarrassed like Alice was." He said.

I nodded, "How do you two balance between the adult relationship and the little relationship?" I asked.

He thought for a couple of minutes, "Well, honestly, I leave that balance up to her. I know that when she calls me Jasper, she in 'adult mode'. But she knows that when she's in 'adult mode,' I expect the rules to be followed just the same, just because she's in adult mode doesn't mean she can disobey the rules, the lines get blurred and then everything turns into complete chaos." He said.

"That makes sense. We just have to find our balance," I stood, "It's time for us to go, before it gets too late." I said.

We found the girls playing in Alice's room. They were sitting on the floor and playing in the dollhouse. I hung back and watched her for a moment. She seemed to like the dollhouse, but wasn't crazy about the Barbie's. Hmm, I had seen dollhouses that didn't feature Barbie's but 'real life,' dolls that weren't so fake like Barbie's.

"Bella, honey, it's time to go baby." I told her.

She turned around with her pout, "But I want to stay and play a little longer, please daddy?" She addressed me as daddy for the first time since coming here.

"No honey. But we can come back another day and you two can play. You and I have to run to the store before we go home." I told her.

She sighed and handed Alice the Barbie doll. Slowly she walked to me, her eyes lingering on the room. I had already planned on converting one of our spare rooms into a room for her. I liked this idea.

We pulled into the Target; it was late so there weren't to many people around.

"What do we need from here daddy?" She asked.

"I was thinking we get some sippy cups, juice boxes, and maybe a couple pairs of PJ's." I told her.

"Why a sippy cup?" She asked.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe you'd like one at night during reading time." I said.

She looked down at her hands, nibbling her lip; something she did when she was thinking.

"What is it sweetie?" I asked.

"I do want a sippy cup… but I was wondering if I could get a… pacey too?" She asked, twiddling her thumbs.

I leaned over and kissed her, "Of course we can get you a pacey."

She smiled widely and opened the car door.

We went into the baby section. I noticed that her eyes were darting around, checking to see if anyone was watching.

She picked out some sparkly purple pacey's and matching sippy cups. I put them in the little basket. We walked to the PJ section; she scanned through the sets and found some she liked.

She picked a matching pair of Minnie Mouse pj's, a few night gowns with different characters on them, and some more footies.

She turned to me, "Daddy, can I pick out a toy pretty please?" She asked sweetly.

I thought for a moment, "Okay, you can pick out one toy." I said.

She smiled widely and walked straight into the toy section, knowing exactly where it was. She searched through the toys, looking for the most perfect toy. She was rubbing her chin, deep in thought. This was important, she was picking a toy.

She reached out and picked a 'Littlest Pet Shop,' set. It was a little house with a few of the little pets. She looked at me with big, begging eyes.

"Can I get this?" She asked.

I nodded, "Of course." That was an insight to what she liked, "So are these the kind of toys you like?" I asked.

She nodded, "I like this, and I like those," she pointed to some of the other toys along the aisle.

I nodded, "That's good to remember since your birthday is coming up soon." I said.

"Yep!" She said with a cheeky grin.

At the cash register, Bella gripped my arm, looking down at our basket. She was shaking a bit; I looked back at the cashier who was absentmindedly scanning our items. Then I realized why Bella was nervous all of a sudden; she didn't want the cashier to question what we were buying, Bella was very self-conscious of herself.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, comforting her. I grabbed our bags and we left the Target.

"Thank you Edward," she said as soon as we were in the car.

I looked over at her, "For what?" I asked.

"For doing all of this," she said, waving her arms, "For putting up with my craziness and going along with it." she said.

I smiled, "Of course honey," I said, leaning over and kissing her at the red light.

She giggled, "I love you," she said.

"I love you too."


	16. Chapter 16

This is a nice long chapter! I hope you all enjoy!

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Chapter Sixteen

"Bella, this isn't up for discussion, you're going." Edward said, arms crossed.

I crossed my arms, pursing my lips, "I do not want to go. It's not fair."

"Bella, when we talked about the rules, we decided that we'd find a good therapist to help us. I think I found the perfect one. She specializes in this kind of relationship and she was really nice on the phone." He said.

I sighed heavily and stormed away. Not interested in talking anymore. I went into the bedroom, slamming the door. I sat on the bed, my arms still crossed.

It wasn't fair. Not one bit. He was forcing me to go to the stupid therapist. I didn't need it. I was fine. Why should I have to go talk to someone who doesn't even know me? It's stupid.

There was a knock on the door, then Edward walked in, "Honey, I know you don't think it's fair. But we're doing this because I know it will help us. Both of us." He said.

I huffed, "I'm not going and you can't make me." I said.

"Isabella, we're going. Do you need some corner time to remember your manners?" He asked.

I pouted, "No I do not. You are not being fair daddy!" I said, trying hard to control my voice.

"I know I know, I'm never fair when you don't get your way." He said, sitting beside me.

"Stop patronizing me." I said.

He chuckled, "I'm sorry hon, I'm not meaning too. Now, do you want to finish playing? Or take a bath now before we leave?" He asked.

After a moment, I sighed heavily, "I want to play."

Two Hours Later

I was absolutely dreading going to the therapist's office. As we were driving, I pinched the skin on my thigh painfully. I just wanted to release a little bit of this tension; I had been feeling it for a week now, ever since daddy announced he found the perfect therapist.

We pulled into the large building, my breathing was now labored.

"Daddy, I don't want to." I said, shaking.

He smiled gently, "It's going to be okay Bella. There's nothing to worry about. I will not leave the room unless you ask me to leave, sound fair?" He said.

"I'm not ever gonna ask you to leave the room." I said, kicking the car slightly.

"No kicking young lady, don't make this a bad night. I don't want to have to spank you before bed." He said.

I huffed and turned my head away from him, "I promise I'll be good, we don't have to go here." I said with a trembling lip.

He sighed and reached across the seat to turn my head to face him, "Sweet heart, we're not here because your bad, we're here to get help. To find a way to stop you from hurting yourself and being self-destructive," He said, "Let's get going before we're late for our appointment."

He opened the door before I could protest. I sighed heavily and opened the door, following him.

The office was different from Dr. Lee's office. This place was, in a way, warmer. The colors were done in light browns and tans.

"Hi, Edward Cullen here to see Dr. Clarke." Daddy said.

"She'll be ready in a few minutes, please take a seat." The secretary said, gesturing to the couch.

I sat really close to daddy; I was so nervous. He put his arm around my shoulders and kissed my temper lovingly. I shuddered and sighed.

A petite woman with dark brown hair and glasses stepped out of the office; her eyes scanned the room then fell on us. She smiled widely and started towards us, her hand extended.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Clarke, but you can call me Emily if you'd like." She said, shaking daddy's hand.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Edward and this is Bella," Edward pulled me up with him when he stood.

"It's nice to meet both of you," Emily said with a smile, "Alright, let's go in." she said leading us into her office.

She sat in the chair across from the loveseat. Edward sat us in the loveseat, his arm still around me.

"Would you two like anything to drink?" Emily asked.

"No thank you," Edward said, knowing I wouldn't want a drink from here.

Emily leaned back and crossed her legs, "So, let's talk about things. Why don't you give me a little bit of a background about your relationship?"

Edward looked down at me and whispered, "Do you want me to tell her or you?" He asked.

"You," I whispered back. He nodded and kissed my temple.

"Well, Bella and I met about three years ago in the spring. But, we didn't start the whole daddy thing until a couple of weeks ago." He said, I blushed.

"Why did you two start this? Did something trigger it? Or is it a fetish?" She asked, I blushed harder.

"No, it's not a fetish. Well, what happened was, I caught Bella cutting herself pretty badly. She said that the cutting wasn't an issue, but it was an issue for me. We kind of got into an argument about it, and I think her emotions got the best of her and she slipped and called me daddy. I didn't think anything of it then. We went and saw another therapist who did not work out and that night I caught Bella cutting herself again. She was so out of it, I ended up spanking her, but only like eight times because she was fighting me so bad. It snapped her out of it, but then she started sobbing really hard and calling me daddy. I just went along with it, then that next morning we talked about it, and it seemed to help her." He said.

Emily nodded, "Okay, now are there rules in place? Or is she just calling you daddy?"

"There are rules for both of us to follow." He said.

Emily's eyebrows went up, "Both of you? That's good, most of the patient's partners I see tend to forget that they need rules too." She winked at me, I turned my face into Edward's coat.

"Yeah, we agreed on the rules, we talked about them and went over what was right for us and what was wrong. I wrote them out too, so she wouldn't forget." Edward said.

"Good, that is a very well thought out system for rules. I encourage partners to write out these rules so there's no accidental forgetting them. How is the balance between being daddy and being her fiancé?" She asked.

"This is still kind of new for us, but we've talked to my cousin and his wife because they have the same relationship we do. But, I've pretty much picked up when she wants daddy and when she wants Edward."

Emily nodded, "Do the rules still apply if you're just Edward?" She asked.

"Yes they do." He said.

"That's good, then those lines won't get blurred, there will be no confusion on either end." She said, then looked at me.

"Bella, I know you're being shy right now and that's okay, but could you tell me how you feel about your relationship?" She asked.

I nibbled my lip, my eyes darting around nervously, "I-I like it." I said in a small voice.

Emily smiled, "Good, I'm glad you like it. Do you think it helps? Have you felt the urge to hurt yourself since you've been doing this?"

Yes. "No." I lied.

Emily paused for a moment; I could tell she didn't quite believe me.

"Bella, I have some very fun toys over there, would you like to come and play with me?" She asked.

Edward nudged me and kissed the top of my head, "Go play." He encouraged.

I sighed and stood, walking over to the table. There were a couple dolls, some crayons and paper, and playdoh.

"What would you like to play?" Emily asked, sitting in the chair across from me.

"Um, can we color?" I asked, blushing a little.

"Of course," Emily said, pulling out the box that had the coloring stuff in it. She laid out some paper and pulled out the couple boxes of crayons.

I grabbed a box and some paper and started coloring.

"So Bella, can I ask you why you hurt yourself?" Emily asked, not looking at me but rather at her paper as she colored.

I focused harder on my coloring, "I just needed the release." I said.

She nodded, "A release? Can you explain to me what that is please?" She asked.

"Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. And when I hurt myself I can breathe again."

"When do you feel like you can breathe?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, "When I think about things or when it's really stressful."

"What kind of things do you think about?" She asked.

"Just stuff." I said.

"Mm hmm, what kind of stuff. You don't have to go into great detail, but can I know a little bit? You can trust me Bella, I won't tell any secrets." She smiled.

I swallowed hard, "When I think about the past." She said.

"That makes sense, some memories are very difficult." She said.

"All of it's difficult." I said.

"All of it?" She asked.

"Yeah. All of it. None of it was good. But I like my life now." I said.

"I'm sorry that it was all bad for you. Did someone make it bad?" She asked.

My breath caught a little in my throat, "T-They made it bad." I said, pressing the crayon harder down onto my paper.

"Who?" She asked.

I swallowed again, my hand holding the paper drifted down to my hip, I started pinching again, as hard as I could.

"It's alright, we don't have to go into detail tonight honey. But you did very, very good." She said, putting the crayons down.

I nodded and finished up my paper.

"May I look to see what you've drawn?" Emily asked.

I slide the paper over to her. She lifted it up and examined it closely, then nodded.

"These are very dark colors Bella, a lot of sharp corners too," she said.

I shrugged.

"Do you usually draw stuff like this at home?" She asked.

"No." I said.

"What do you draw at home?" She asked but looked at Edward.

"Usually it's pages from a coloring book. But when she does draw freehand it's with bright colors, nothing like that." He said.

Emily nodded, "Well, this is a very big indicated of her mood right now. The dark colors mean repression and the sharp corners show hurt. I'm a big believe in emotions in drawing, you can read a lot from them. Bella, are you upset right now?" She asked.

"No." I said, pinching harder. I was done with this, with all of this.

"It's okay if you are upset, this is a safe place for you to say whatever you want." She said.

I snorted and rolled my eyes, "I just want to leave because this is all so stupid!" I snarled.

"Isabella, watch it, be respectful to Emily, she's been respectful to you." Edward said sternly.

"No, no, it's alright. She can say whatever she pleases in here, this is her safe zone to vent." Emily said, "Why do you think it's stupid?" She asked.

"Because I don't want to talk about my past! I don't want to talk about my parents! I don't care about them and they don't care about me!" I said, slamming my fist onto the table.

"Your parents?" Emily said.

"They're stupid." I said.

She nodded, "Why are they stupid?" She asked.

"Because they are." I said, turning my head, tears threatening to spill over.

"Did you have a fight with them?" She asked.

"No. She didn't believe me." I said, traitorous tears now spilling, I was losing control. I pinched harder.

"Your mother didn't believe you? What didn't she believe?" She asked.

I was silent for a few minutes, "That he raped me."


	17. Chapter 17

A nice long chapter! I hope everyone enjoys!

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

Emily didn't say anything, she just sat there and analyzed me. I didn't stare back for too long; I turned to daddy.

"I want to go home now." I demanded, my fists clutched tightly.

"Bella," he sighed.

"No I want to go home now!" I demanded louder, standing from the chair and making it knock to the ground.

"Bella, hon, please calm down. Let's take a moment and just breathe." Emily said gently.

"I don't want to breathe I want to go home!" I screamed and stomped my feet.

Edward stood abruptly, Emily put her hand up, stopping him.

"Edward, I'm going to leave the room, why don't you see if you can calm Bella down?" Emily stood and left.

Edward slowly walked over to me and lifted me off of the chair. He then sat down in the armchair, with me cradled in his lap.

I was shaking, I wasn't crying, except for a few traitorous tears on my cheeks.

"Hey, hey, calm down baby. It's okay, calm down." Edward said gently, it was then I realized that my breathing was very labored.

"Breathe with me baby," He said, "In," he breathed in, "And out," he breathed out.

We repeated this for a good ten minutes, I felt calmer, but I knew the storm in my head was just beginning to brew.

"Are you ready to bring Emily back in?" He asked.

"I'm ready to go home." I snipped.

He gave me a look, "I'm trying to keep this your safe zone, but if you keep disrespecting me this night will end with a spanking." He said sternly.

I pouted and crossed my arms, "I don't care. I don't want to talk about any of this." I said

"Isabella, stop right now. I am going to go get Emily." He sat me on the loveseat and went to the door.

I sat with my arms crossed, willing myself not to cry. Why did I have to talk about this stuff? It's not like talking about it will make it so it didn't happen.

"Hi Bella, are you feeling better?" She asked in a soft tone.

I shrugged, not giving her eye contact.

"Bella, this is your final warning to shape up and make good choices with your behavior." Daddy said.

"Okay Bella, I think you've done excellent today. We can stop with the heavy talk, let's discuss exercises that I'd like you and your daddy to try at home. Is that alright?" She asked.

"Okay." I said.

She smiled, "Now, I have this journal," she held a small brown journal, "I'd like for you to write in it every day. It doesn't have to be any long essay, just a quick write about how your day was and what you were feeling. You don't have to show your daddy, unless you've had a very horrible day." She handed me the journal.

I made a face, "Can I put stickers on it?" I asked.

"Of course, it's your journal." Her smile widened.

I nodded, "What other exercises?" I asked.

"Here's an exercise that I believe will be nice for you and daddy to try when you're feeling overwhelmed," she pulled her phone out and opened an app, "Edward, you should download this app on both of your phones, it's called Kitty Breathing, see the little kitty Bella?" She pointed to it, I nodded, "This kitty does breathing exercises with you, these breathing exercises will help you calm down in a really stressful situation. And you can take the breathing kitty anywhere you go." She said.

I nodded and looked at daddy, "That's a very good idea, don't you think baby?" He said.

I nodded, "It's a good idea." I said.

Emily nodded, "There's another app I'd like you to download to try. Whenever you feel like hurting yourself, you go on your phone or your tablet and do this," she demonstrated my swiping her finger across the screen in a fast motion, "You just swipe as fast as you can and as many times as you want. Until the urge to hurt yourself goes away. And you can save the pictures or delete them immediately, you can change the colors of the paint to any color and add lighting and just do really cool things with it. I just want you to try it a couple of times." She said.

"Thank you so much Emily," Daddy said, shaking her hand.

"Of course, it's my pleasure. Please call me if you need anything. I'll see you two next week. Bye Bella." Emily said with a smile and a wave.

I followed daddy out the door. He stopped by the counter to give our insurance information. I stood beside him practically bouncing on my toes, wanting him to hurry up so we could leave.

When we were out the door, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head.

"I'm so proud of you honey. You did so good tonight." He said proudly.

"So good that I don't have to come back next week?" I said cheekily.

He smiled a little, "Good try, but we're coming back. I liked Emily very much, didn't you?" He asked.

"Yes and no." I said simply.

"Yes and no? What do you mean?" He asked as he started the car.

I sighed, "I don't like talking about all of that." I said.

"The stuff with your parents? I know honey, but for you to start feeling better, we have to talk about these things. I know it's hard, but nothing like that is ever going to happen to you again, as long as I'm around." He said.

"Can I call Alice when we get home?" I asked.

He checked the car clock, "After your bath you can, but only for a little bit." He said.

I nodded, "Thank you, daddy."

He reached over and grabbed my hand gently, holding it tightly in his hand. I smiled, settling more into the seat.

Before we got home, we stopped by the drive through, it was getting late and if I wanted to talk to Alice on the phone we needed something quick for dinner.

I ate quickly once we were home. I was eager to get through bath time and then call Alice.

"Slow down Bella, you're going to have plenty of time to talk to Alice." Edward said.

"I know." I said through a mouthful of French fries.

"No talking with your mouth full, you'll choke." He scolded.

I nodded and swallowed.

Daddy ran some bath water while I cleaned up the table. I rushed to put everything away, then ran upstairs.

He undressed me like he normally did, but stopped when he pulled my pants down a bit.

"Bella why do you have these bruises on your hip?" He asked, his thumb stroking them gently.

I jerked away from him, my hand covering the purple bruises. I didn't realize how hard I had been pinching. I looked down, not wanting to face him.

He stood fully, towering over me with his 6'3 frame.

"Isabella Marie, tell me right now how these bruises got on your hip young lady." He demanded, arms crossed.

I nibbled my lip, "I-I don't know." I said in a small voice.

"1…" he started counting, "2…" his pause longer, "3…" he grabbed me by the arm and lead me to the corner, my face pressed against the cold wall.

I stood there, naked and shivering while he took a seat in the armchair against the wall. It was a little embarrassing; of course he'd seen me naked plenty of times, but this was somehow embarrassing.

"Bella, are you ready to tell me how you got those bruises?" He asked.

I turned around and walked to him, looking down at the floor. I stopped when his sock covered feet came into view.

He sat silently, waiting for me to tell him.

"I-I did it." I said.

He nodded, "How?" He asked.

I took a shaky breath, "I pinched it with my fingers." I said.

He nodded, then examined my hip again, "It's a pretty nasty bruise. It'll take a couple of days for it to go away. But I'm going to clip your fingernails, because I can see the indents of them in the bruise." He said.

I nodded, "A-am I gonna get a s-spanking?" I asked.

He sighed, "What's the punishment for hurting yourself?" He asked.

"A spanking." I said.

"So you're getting a spanking. But I'm going to spank you with the brush."

My head shot up, eyes wide, "W-what? Why the brush?" I asked nervously.

"Because I want you to remember the sting every time you feel like hurting yourself. I want this punishment to stick so you will stop hurting yourself." He said, lifting me up and placing me in the tub.

I sat there as he bathed me, he tried to get me to play with my bath toys, but I wasn't in the mood. The idea of a spanking wasn't thrilling, but being spanked with the brush? I couldn't imagine the sting it was going to leave on my bottom.

When he tried to pick me up out of the tub I lingered.

"Can I play for a few minutes?" I asked, gripping the edges of the tub.

"No Bella, you had the opportunity to play but you decided to sulk." He said.

"Please daddy? Just a couple of minutes?" I said.

"No Bella. Now come on." He picked me out of the tub and stood me on my feet. He wrapped me in the towel and carried me into the bedroom, bringing the purple brush with him.

I gulped as he sat in the armchair, letting me stand there, clutching the towel pitifully.

"Let's get this over with okay?" He said, leaning back to allow me lean over his knees.

I stood there stubbornly, staring at his knees. After a moment he sighed heavily.

"Bella, I don't like this anymore than you do. Can you please corporate so this can be done faster?" He asked.

I sighed and dropped the towel, then leaned over his knees. He adjusted me to a more comfortable position. His hand was on my back, I could feel the other hand holding the brush.

"Bella, tell me why you're getting a spanking." He said.

I hated the pre-talk spanking, "I'm here because I hurt myself." I said.

He patted my bum gently, "Good girl," He said.

He raised his hand and the brush. I braced myself, squeezing my eyes shut and biting my lip hard.

The first swat is always the most surprising. I gasped, grabbing his pant leg tighter. A flurry of sharp smacks landed on my bottom, each smack sharper than the last.

The brush made this ten times more painful. I thought just his hand was bad, but this, this was 100 times worse.

I started to blubber, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I cried over and over again.

"Isabella, I don't want you to ever hurt yourself ever again," he said as he spanked, "It is a very naughty choice, you could seriously injure yourself. It's not a healthy way to deal with your emotions." He said.

I didn't know how many smacks he had delivered but my bottom was on fire. I was kicked wildly, my hands gripping his leg mercilessly. Snot and tears were running down my face.

Finally, he delivered the last smack, making it sharper than the rest.

He tossed the brush onto the bed and scooped me into his arms, holding me tightly against his chest without touching my bottom. I sobbed pitifully against his shirt. He rubbed my back with his hand, shushing me gently.

"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry!" I screamed my face pressed into his chest.

"Shh, shh, it's okay sweetheart, it's okay." He whispered.

I cried for another fifteen or so minutes, then my cries finally settled down to sniffles and hiccups. He kissed the top of my head.

"Are you ready to pick a story sweetie?" He asked.

"C-can I call Alice?" I asked.

He frowned a little, "How about tomorrow I call Jasper and we see if we can set up a playdate for you two?" He said.

I nodded, "O-Okay," I said, wiping a few stray tears.

He laid me on the bed gently, careful to not put too much pressure on my bottom.

"Do you want your footies? Or a nightgown?" He asked.

"Can I have a nightgown?" I asked, not wanting the fuzzy footies on my bottom.

"Of course," He said, going to the drawer.

"I want the Minnie mouse ones." I said.

"Okay sweetie." He pulled them out, along with a pair of fuzzy socks. He dressed me.

He picked me up and smiled, "Let's go get your sippy cup, what do you want to drink?" He asked.

"Can I have warm milk?" I asked.

"Of course," he lifted me up and angled me onto his hip. I pressed my head against his shoulder, sucking my thumb.

He could easily hold me and make me some warm milk. My daddy was a big man, tall and wide with long arms. I squeezed his arm a little, feeling the muscle.

He turned off the lights before walking back up the stairs. He set me on the bed and grabbed the tablet from the night table, then settled on the bed beside me. I moved so my head was on my chest and we could both easily see the tablet.

"What should it be tonight baby doll?" He asked, opening on the tablet's library.

"Hmm," I said, scrolling through our many books, "How about fairy tales and fables." I said clicking on the story.

"Okay, we can read a chapter, if it's not too long." He said.

"Let's read the lost princess." I said, that one wasn't that long.

He kissed my head, and began reading, "There once was a very selfish king…"


	18. Chapter 18

Okay, I figured out what happened. I uploaded the wrong chapter and got confused. This is the real chapter 18. Please read this one, so sorry!

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

I woke up that morning with a stinging bottom. I rubbed it; damn, that brush was no joke.

Edward yawned and stretched, his arms reached above his head and his legs extending. He could take up the whole bed if he stretched far enough.

He blinked a few times and looked over, "Good morning." He said in a low voice.

"My bottom hurts." I said with a pout.

He nodded, "I'm sorry to hear that, but I hope that you'll remember that sting the next time you think about hurting yourself." He said, stretching again.

I nodded, "Me too." I said.

He chuckled. We laid in bed for a few moments, taking our time to wake up, it was Saturday, so there was no rush to be anywhere. Suddenly, Edward's phone started ringing.

He reached over and answered it.

"Good morning dad," he said, pausing for his dad to speak.

"Let me ask Bella," He looked down at me, "Do you want to go to breakfast with my parents and my brother?" He asked.

I thought for a moment, "Sure." I said.

He put the phone back up to his ear, "Sure, we'll see you guys there." He said before hanging up his phone and putting it back on the end table.

"I've got to go shower," he kissed my forehead, "But we've got an hour or so before we have to be there, do you want to get ready now?" He asked.

"Can I watch cartoons please?" I asked.

"Yes, you can watch until I'm done shaving." He said, kissing my forehead then getting out of the bed and heading into the bathroom.

The bed felt empty without him, so I grabbed Elsie tighter and grabbed the remote that was on the end table. I propped up against the pillows and turned the flat screen that was hanging on the wall on.

I flipped through some infomercials then found the Saturday morning cartoons. The shower turned on, I peeked in, catching a glimpse of him as he stepped into the shower. I smiled and looked back at the TV.

Forty-five minutes passed, "Bella, it's time to get ready."

I groaned, "But daddy just five more minutes!" I grumbled.

"Isabella, pick out an outfit and come get ready. Do you want to start the day with corner time?" He asked from the bathroom.

I rolled my eyes, he couldn't see me so it was okay. I groaned again and got out of the bed, turning the television off.

I searched through the closet and found just a pair of jeans and a sweater; I laid the outfit on the bed and went into the bathroom.

I stared at the horrible brush for a moment before picking it up. I brushed out my hair, then made a side braid. I didn't have much patience this morning to fix my hair.

Edward was standing in front of the mirror, a towel wrapped around his hips, shaving his face.

I started putting my makeup on, only having the desire to put just the barest amount on. Then, I grabbed one of my knitted hats and placed it on my head, clipping it into my hair with bobby pins.

"You looks very pretty." He said, wiping the residue shaving cream off of his face.

"Thank you, daddy." I said before walking back into the bedroom and changing into the outfit I laid out.

He followed me out, heading to the closet to get an outfit for himself. He pulled out a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt.

"Make sure you get your fuzzy jacket, it's really cold outside." He said as he came in from starting the car.

I nodded, pulling my boots on, "Will you tie them for me daddy? Please?" I asked.

"Sure." He kneeled down and placed my foot onto his knee.

"Make them really tight," I said.

He nodded and focused on tying the shoelaces into bows. He patted my leg when he finished.

"Thank you, daddy." I said smiling.

"Alright, you ready to go?" He asked, I nodded and followed him out to the car.

The breakfast place was a family favorite called the Forum, it was strictly a breakfast-lunch restaurant only.

His family was already there, seated at a long table in the back. I smiled as we approached.

"Hey guys," Edward said, pulling out a seat for me.

Edward's parents, Carlisle and Esme were smiling.

"How are you two doing?" Carlisle asked as he stirred his coffee.

"We're good, how is everyone?" Edward asked.

Esme smiled at me, "Hi Bella, how are you?" She asked.

I blushed a little, I had forgotten that she knew a little of what was going on.

"I'm good Esme." I said, looking down at my menu.

Edward's older brother, Emmett, was sitting across from him with a cheeky smile, holding his three-year-old son, Elliot, in his arms. Elliot was playing on a phone.

"Hey little bro, haven't seen you in a while." Emmett said.

"We've been busy; you know how it gets." Edward chuckled.

Rosalie, Emmett's wife, was sitting beside her six-year-old daughter, Emily. She chuckled at Emmett.

"I think they're scared they'll catch baby fever." She said.

I smiled, "Oh no, no. No babies anytime soon on this end." I laughed.

Breakfast proceeded, making it a pleasant morning. Esme, Rosalie, and I talked a little about my wedding plans. I hadn't planned too much; my focus was mainly on finishing school. This was my last semester before graduate school, once I finished this semester, I'd plan the wedding and we would get married before I started graduate school.

After breakfast, we lingered in front of the restaurant, everyone saying goodbye.

Esme hugged me tightly, "It was good to see you dear, don't be such a stranger." She said in my ear.

I smiled, "I won't, it was good seeing you too." I said.

"Remember, if you ever need to talk about anything, I'm just a phone call away." She said before releasing me.

I nodded and smiled at her.

When we got home I kicked my shoes off by the door, "Are you going to call Jasper?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll do that right now." He said, pulling out his cell phone.

I went upstairs and grabbed my pacey and Elsie, then went back downstairs to the living room. I sat on the couch and waited for Edward.

He walked into the room, "Alice and Jasper would love for us to come over tonight after dinner." He said.

I squealed behind my pacey, then reached for the remote. Daddy stopped me.

"Why don't we go look at some ideas for your room?" He asked.

I sighed and pulled my pacey out, "Can I color too?" I asked before popping it back in.

"Sure." He said.

I held my arms out for him to pick me up. He carried me into the study and sat me at my desk, then he retrieved my box of coloring stuff. He opened it for me, then kissed my head.

He grabbed the laptop and rolled his desk chair beside my desk and opened a browser.

"What colors would you like it? Alice's room was very pink." He said.

"Maybe really light purple and white?" I said around the pacey.

He pulled it out of my mouth, "What was that?" He asked, holding the pacey in his fingers.

I sighed, "Really light purple and white." I said, pulling the pacey back.

He nodded, "That would be pretty, we could paint the room a lilac color, then paint the trim and doorframes a fresher white." He said, scrolling through some designs.

I nodded and continued to color Ariel.

"This bed is cute," he said, I looked up.

It was a twin bed with white wood and little flowers etched into edges.

"It's cute, can we look at bedspreads so I can compare?" I asked.

He opened another browser and started looking at bedspreads.

"I don't want one with characters on it," I said when his search led him to Disney characters.

"Okay." He said, going back onto the JcPenny's website.

"I like that one." I said, pointing to a simple, lilac colored bedspread with dainty white flowers decorating it.

"It's really pretty, you want to order this one?" He asked.

I nodded and turned my attention back onto my coloring. Occasionally, he'd ask what I liked or what I wanted, but I mainly focused on coloring.

Edward fixed dinner, baked chicken with green beans and buttered rolls. It was good, but I was eager to go to Alice's house and play.

I helped him put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, then we headed to Alice's house. I brought Elsie with me, I wanted her to see Alice's house. Daddy let me bring my pacey as well, which was nice, but he made me go in my footies, that way we could stay a little later. I was a little embarrassed, but, Edward called Jasper back and told him I was wearing my footies.

Jasper opened the door for us, looking a little flustered. I could hear Alice crying.

"Hey, sorry guys, I'm dealing with a very fussy little girl. Why don't you two wait in the living room, we'll be done in a sec." Jasper said, moving aside so we could walk through.

Daddy put his hand around my shoulder and moved me into the living room. We sat on the couch, listening to Alice yell. After a moment, Jasper walked through the door, his face red.

"You can go and play Bella, Alice will be there in exactly ten minutes," he said the last part louder; I'm guessing so she could hear him.

I nodded, grabbed Elsie, and walked back to Alice's room.


	19. Chapter 19

Okay, here is chapter nineteen. I'm not sure what happened, but I got it squared away. So, remember to go back and read chapter 18. Happy holidays.

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

"What's she in trouble for?" I asked as soon as Bella walked to Alice's room.

Jasper sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, "Her attitude, she's been in a mood ever since she woke up this morning, and she just crossed the line."

I nodded, "Yeah, I had to spank Bella last night." I said.

"Why?" He asked, leaning back and crossing his legs.

I sighed, "She hurt herself; I used her hairbrush. I'm hoping it left enough of a sting that she won't break that rule again."

He nodded, "If you really want her to remember it, use the belt. Alice remembers that." He said.

I shuddered, "I can't do that. To me that's… too harsh." I said.

"Understandable. I always feel like crap after spanking Alice, the belt makes me feel worse." He said.

"Yeah, I hated it. Especially last night, it was just awful. She cried so hard." I sighed.

"That saying, 'This will hurt me more than it'll hurt you,' turns out to be true." He chuckled darkly.

I nodded in agreement.

Bella's POV

I felt weird going into Alice's room without her, but Jasper had said she'd only be ten minutes. I sat in the chair and waited for her. I played with Elsie while I waited.

Finally, a red faced Alice walked through the door. She was wearing her PJ's as well.

"Hi," I said softly as she sat across from me.

"Hey Bella." She said, not looking at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My daddy's just not being fair." She said.

"What happened?" I asked.

She sighed heavily, "I guess I let my mouth get a little out of control."

I nodded, "I got spanked last night too. My butt still hurts." I said.

She smiled weakly, "I know the feeling," she sighed, "Do you want to play with dollhouse?" She asked

"Sure." I said.

We walked over to the large dollhouse and sat. Alice grabbed her box of dolls and opened it.

Edward's POV

Jasper and I watched sports while the girls played. We wanted to give them their alone time without us hovering over them.

"You want a beer?" He asked.

"Sure." I said, sitting back.

He returned with two icy beers, "So how'd you like Emily?" Jasper asked.

"Oh she was incredible. Really understanding and nice. Bella won't admit it, but I think she liked her." I said.

"You should try her support groups. They're really helpful." He said.

"Support groups?" I asked.

"Yeah, she holds these groups with another counselor. Emily takes on the 'littles' group and Leah runs the adult group. Alice and I have met some really nice people who have helped us with things. Plus, Alice has playmates and what not." He said.

I nodded, "That's not a bad idea, but Bella is really funny about our privacy." I said.

"So was Alice, but when we started going she opened up more. And our relationship has come a long, long way." He said.

I took a long sip, "I'll definitely talk to her about it." I said.

"You should, they teach them exercises, ways to cope with the relationship, and just all sorts of things. Alice really likes it; she's made some really great friends." He said.

I nodded, giving it serious thought. I knew how Bella was, but if it would help her, it was worth a shot.

Leaving Jasper and Alice's House

I had fun playing with Alice in a 'little' setting. At first I was a little uncomfortable, but shortly I settled into the role and we played like we were little kids again. It was fun and I couldn't wait to do it again.

As we were driving home Edward started talking about this group Alice and Jasper go to.

"It sounds like a very good idea. Jasper said you can meet some very nice couples and make some friends. Learn some coping mechanisms." He said.

I sighed, "I don't want to go to anymore therapy sessions. Going to Emily is enough." I said.

He was quiet for a few moments, "Okay, I won't push you. But, if things don't get better with just going to Emily, will you promise to at least try one group session?" He asked.

I sighed heavily, "Sure. I'll think about it. But I'm getting better." I said.

He nodded, "I would like it if you would talk to me more though." He said.

"Talk to you more?" I cocked my head in confusion.

"There are some moments, when I can see something is just weighing so heavily on your mind. But you won't ever tell me what's wrong. And it kills me that there's something bothering you that I can't make better." He said.

I looked over to him. He had a pained expression on his face. I frowned; I just now realized how much it bothered Edward when things bothered me.

I grabbed his hand and squeezed, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize how much it bothers you," I rubbed my thumb in a circle on the top of his hand, "You're so busy taking care of me, you're not taking care of yourself." I said.

He sighed, "Yeah, I guess I'm not." He said.

"We shouldn't do this anymore." I said.

He turned his head sharply, "Do what?" He asked.

" _This,"_ I pointed between us, "This kind of relationship. It's stressing you out and driving you to not take care of yourself. You're too busy worrying about me." I told him.

He sighed, slowly pulling into the driveway and turning the car off.

"Bella, I'm going to be honest with you, because I want us to be completely honest with each other about everything," he took a deep breath, "At first, it was strange. But now, I've taken quite a liking to it. The feeling of someone needing me and wanting me to take care of them, makes me just feel, in a strange way, fulfilled." He said, stroking my cheek.

I nodded, "I know. You like being needed, that's why you're a doctor." I said.

He chuckled, "Exactly. I like helping people and being needed. And this helps you. I can clearly see it does. I know you don't like the therapy, but it helps you. And I'm willing to do everything I can to help you get to a place where you don't loathe yourself and you're not wanting to hurt yourself," He said, "Do you like our relationship like this?" He asked.

I looked down, "Yes. I do. But it scares me to think that you're jeopardizing your mental health just to take care of me."

"Bella, I'm going to be fine. Right now, I'm focused on getting your mental state to a healthy place." He said.

"Yeah, but what if one day, you're pushed to your limit and you decide to just leave?" I asked.

"Firstly, I'll never leave you. You and I are perfect for one another, like peanut butter and jelly," I giggled at his analogy, "And if you're so worried about my mental health, then why don't we go to one of those groups and try it out? The groups aren't just for you, you know. They're supposed to help daddies too." He said.

I thought about it for a moment, "It would be a good idea for you to have help to." I said, nibbling my thumbnail.

"Yes, and you would be taking care of me that way." He said.

I nodded, then patted his cheek, "Can we go inside now? I want to watch some TV before bedtime." I said.

"Alright, let's go." He smiled, then kissed my temple.


	20. Chapter 20

I fixed the problem with chapters 18 and 19. I accidently mixed the chapters up. So the actual chapter 18 is up. Don't forget to go back and read it. Enjoy chapter twenty! Thank you to all the supporters!

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Chapter Twenty

Bella had surprisingly agreed to go to a group session. I was shocked; I honestly didn't think she'd go for it.

So, tonight, we were going to the groups. She was nervous, I could tell from the way she nibbled her lip. I reached over and grabbed her hand.

"It's okay Bella," I told her, she looked over with her big, doe eyes.

"I-I think I wanna change my mind." She said, her voice higher than usual, indicating that she was in little mode.

I sighed, "Sweetie, it's okay. Let's just go, sit in, and see what it's all about. Then afterward we can talk about it. See if it's something we want to continue doing. It's only once a month." I told her.

She sighed dramatically, "Okay. I guess it won't hurt. But do I have to talk?"

"No, but I'd really like it if you'd try. The session is with Emily, you like Emily she's nice." I said.

She made a face, "Emily is okay." She said.

I knew she was fibbing; she liked Emily. She had opened up to her these last two times we've seen her. She was coming around more.

I squeezed her thigh, "Baby, I have a good feeling about this. And you're fibbing, I know for a fact that you like Emily."

A little smile broke through. I chuckled and patted her thigh.

At the Meeting

We were waiting together in a room in Emily's office building. Jasper and Alice were there, so Bella was a little less stressed. She munched on a cookie while we waited for Emily and Leah to finish setting up.

The two of them finally walked out, "Alright everybody, let's separate into the groups." Emily said.

Bella squeezed my hand tightly; she hadn't let it go since we got here.

I leaned down and kissed her forehead, "It's only for one-hour honey." I told her, then walked to where Leah was standing.

The chairs were set up in a circle; Jasper and I sat next to one another. Leah, greatly resembled Emily. It was obvious they were cousins.

"Good evening everyone, I'm Leah, as most of you know. But since I see a new face here today, I figured we do quick introductions." She smiled and looked to the person beside her.

It was a woman with fiery red hair, "I'm Victoria, and I've been a mommy for a year and a half now." She said.

It went on like that, everyone introducing themselves. Finally, it was my turn.

"I'm Edward and I've been a daddy for about three weeks now." I said.

"It's nice to meet you Edward," Leah said, "Alright, would anyone like to start?" She offered.

The man named Ben started, "Well, I've noticed that there are times when Angela is in 'adult-mode,' but she'll break the rules and when she gets in trouble she claims that the rules aren't the same when she's in adult-mode. I feel like I'm caught between wanting to follow through on the rules we set but also giving her, her rights as an adult." He said.

I could understand his frustration; Bella and I hadn't come to that point, but I'd like to hear her suggestions for what to do, if the occasion were to arise.

"Well, it's very important to give your little their adult rights, but if there are rules that you agreed upon, then I believe that they should be followed whether she's in adult-mode or little-mode." Leah said.

"I just get nervous that if I enforce the rules too much that she'll become fed up and walk out." He said.

Leah nodded, "Have you thought that maybe she's just seeking attention?" She asked. He pondered this for a moment.

"I think it's important for us to remember that, much like a child, our littles require a lot of attention. They want that affirmation, the constant reminder that you still love them and you're still invested. It's important to them." Leah said.

I was listening intensely; getting some very points and information from Leah. This was really helping.

"Edward, you've been pretty quiet, is there anything you'd like to discuss?" Leah asked, once everyone had aired their grievances.

"Well, this kind of relationship is still very new to me and Bella. We're still working out the kinks and what works and what doesn't." I said.

She nodded, "And how are you feeling about this relationship?" She asked.

I thought for a moment, "I, personally, like the relationship. I'm a doctor and I guess I have a need to be needed. I love Bella more than anything, and I know this helps her and that's what I want. Is for her to get the help she needs." I said.

"That's good. I'm glad that it's working for you two, so far. But are there any worries you're having?" She asked.

I licked my lips, "We started this, because Bella is in a very, very bad spot right now. I'm worried that," I sighed, trying to collect my thoughts, "that I might do something wrong."

"That's understandable, I think everyone here can say that they've made mistakes in their relationships. You're only human and I think that if you're intentions are good, that Bella will be understanding if you make a mistake." She said.

I frowned a little; it was different with Bella. Bella had been hurt in the most horrific way possible. One little mistake could be detrimental to her; I didn't want to ruin our progress.

Bella's POV

I took a seat next to Alice, sitting very close to her. I didn't know what to expect while I was here; Alice assured me it would be fun. I doubted it.

Emily sat at the head of the long table, "Hello everyone, how are we doing tonight?" she asked.

In unison everyone answered variations of good. I didn't say anything.

"So, I've brought some playdoh, I thought we could play with it while we talk." She passed out some playdoh; I got green.

The man across from me, reached over and switched his with mine. He had pink.

"Excuse me, but that was hers." Alice said, snatching the green back.

The man gave her a look, "I don't want pink, I want green. Pink is for the girls." He said, reaching to take the playdoh back, "And she didn't say anything, so I can take it." He said.

"What's going on down there?" Emily asked.

"James is trying to take Bella's playdoh." Alice said.

"But she didn't say I couldn't. And I don't want pink." The man, James, said.

"James, did you ask Bella if she wanted to switch?" Emily asked.

"No, but she didn't say I couldn't have it." He shrugged.

Emily sighed, "Bella, did you want to switch the playdoh's with James?" She asked me.

I shrugged.

"See she doesn't care." James snatched the green from Alice.

I took the playdoh without complaint; I didn't want pink, but I wasn't going to argue with him.

"Alright guys, I'd like to see how everyone is doing. How has this month been, is there anything anyone wants to talk about?" She asked, rolling playdoh around herself.

I just listened as everyone aired their grievances. I certainly wasn't going to participate. I wasn't a public speaker, and I did not like to share my issues with a bunch of strangers.

"And that concludes this group session. I'm very happy with all of you, you did very well." Emily said, as she collected the playdoh.

"No everyone talked, how did she do good if she didn't talk?" Someone in the group said, pointing their finger at me.

"She doesn't have to talk if she doesn't want too." Alice said, her lip snarling up.

"How about, we mind our own business, hmm?" Emily said.

I stood and practically ran out the door. I just wanted to see Edward.

He was standing in front of the table holding drinks and a few foods, talking with someone I didn't know. I ran to his side and almost knocked him over.

"Whoa, slow down there Bella." He chuckled, putting his arm around me.

"Can we go now please?" I asked.

"Hold on, I want to talk to Emily." He said, starting towards Emily.

"Hey Emily, can I speak with you for a moment?" He asked.

"Of course," She said.

"Bella, just give me a moment to talk to Emily, why don't you go wait by Jasper and Alice." He suggested, nudging me gently towards them. I huffed and walked over to them.

Edward's POV

When she was out of earshot, I turned to Emily, "So, how'd she do?" I asked.

"She did okay. She never spoke, she mainly just played with the playdoh." She said.

I sighed, "I told her she didn't have to speak if she didn't want to, so that's my fault." I said.

"I'm not so much worried about her talking, but I am worried about her demeanor." She said.

"Her demeanor? What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, I noticed that she has a tendency to allow people to bully her." She said.

"Bully her? Who bullied her?" I demanded; wanting to know who the hell would bully my girl.

"She won't speak up for herself. There was a little situation with the playdoh and Alice spoke for her the entire time. I just feel, that, Bella needs to start speaking more for herself. Especially in situations like that." She said.

I nodded, then sighed, "Okay, alright, thank you. What, uh, should I do about that?" I asked.

"Well, it's a good look into her self-esteem and her confidence level. I think we need to work on those two things," She said, "But don't be surprised if she acts out. A lot of times, the acting out is a result of something that's happened that upsets them. I think she's more upset about it then she's letting on."

I nodded, "Thank you, we'll see you next week." I said before going over to Bella.


	21. Chapter 21

This is a nice long chapter! Does anyone else loathe the week after Christmas? I do. I feel so, blahh. But, luckily it's Thursday, only one more work day to go! Anyways, enjoy the new chapter.

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Chapter Twenty-One

Edward was thinking about something on the drive home. I could tell from the way his brows crinkled.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

He looked over, his brow un-crinkling, "Oh, nothing much," he answered, "How did you like group?" He asked.

"Eh, it was alright." I said, "Did you like it?" I asked.

"I really did. I learned a lot from my group. Met some really nice people." He gushed.

"So, it helped you?" I asked.

He thought for a moment, "Yes, I guess it did." He smiled.

"You want to go back?" I asked.

"I would like to go back." He said.

I bit the inside of my cheek, not wanting to acknowledge his statement.

"Emily told me that you had an incident with another person in the group." He said.

I looked over, blushing, "It wasn't really an incident." I said.

"What happened?" He asked.

"It's not a big deal," I shrugged, my tone sharpening.

"Watch the tone little girl," he threatened, "Please tell me what happened." He said.

I sighed in annoyance, "Some guy just wanted to use my playdoh because I had the green. Really, it's not a big deal." I stomped my foot slightly.

"I think when we get home you need a few minutes in the corner." He said.

"Noooo! I don't want corner time! I wanna watch TV!" I whined and kicked the dashboard.

"That's ten minutes in the corner young lady, if you keep acting up then you're going to get a spanking." He said sternly.

"Ugh! That's not fair! That's stupid." I crossed my arms and twisted my body away from his.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but you're not going to act up." He said.

"I'm not acting up. You're being unreasonable." I grumbled.

"Alright, that's enough. Now you're in the corner for fifteen minutes." He said.

"For what!?" I screamed at him.

He took a deep breath and gripped the steering wheel harder. He was really mad, I knew I shouldn't be pushing him, I don't know why I continued to push him.

"This is just so stupid. You're just being mean. I'm not going into the corner." I said.

"You're getting the corner and getting a spanking." He said.

I turned with wide eyes, "What? Why?" I demanded.

"When we get home you're going to reread the rules in the corner until you figure out which one you broke," He said, "Then you're getting a spanking." He said.

I groaned and now stomped both of my feet onto the floor, "You're not being fair!" I cried loudly, putting my face into my hands.

He stopped the car; we were home. I stayed in my seat as he got out. I knew there was no way I was getting out of this spanking. But, I could stall.

He walked around the car and opened my door, "Out. Now." He demanded.

"No." I growled.

"Isabella Marie, you get out of this car and march you little butt into that house." He said.

"No. I'm not getting out of the stupid car." I said.

He sighed, then leaned down and unbuckled me. I slapped at his arms, but he didn't relent. He lifted me out of the seat and set me on my feet.

"March. Now." He said very firmly.

I stomped my feet dramatically up the stairs, walking faster than him. I opened the door and right when he was about to reach the doorframe, I slammed it in his face.

Edward's POV

She was pushing it. Emily had warned me about this. But, it was hard to keep calm. I took a few minutes to calm myself before opening the door.

I found her in the living room, watching TV.

"What are you supposed to be doing?" I asked.

She didn't answer me. Instead she just stared at the television show. I reached down and turned the TV off.

"I was watching that!" She yelled, trying to snatch the remote back.

"Go get the list of rules." I told her sternly.

She growled, but, surprisingly stood and retrieved our list of rules. She shoved it into my hands.

Bella's POV

"No, you go into that corner and you read the rules. When you've had time to change this attitude you can come out of then corner and tell me which rule you've broken." He said, nudging me towards the corner.

I huffed and made as much noise as possible as I walked to the corner. I didn't read the rules; I just stared at the wall.

"It doesn't look like you're reading." He stated.

I sighed and jerked the paper up to my face. I didn't really read, I just stood there, putting on a show.

After a few minutes I turned around to give him a piece of my mind.

"Turn back around now Isabella." He said sternly.

I stomped my foot, "No! This isn't fair!"

"Why isn't it fair?" He asked.

He stumped me. I opened my mouth but no words came out; I didn't know why this wasn't fair. It just seemed unfair. I growled and stomped my foot again.

"It just is!" I said.

He nodded, "Mmm, hmm, so, you don't know why it's fair?" He said.

I glared at the wall, trying to work up an answer for him.

After a moment I growled, "Ugh, I don't know! It's just… just… ugh!" I stomped.

"So, it's not unfair." He said.

I rolled my eyes, "I guess it's not." I huffed.

He nodded, "Good, I'm glad we figured that out. Now, you read those rules and you figure out which one you broke."

"I broke the respect rule." I said, blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

He nodded, "How were you disrespectful?" He asked.

I swallowed hard, "I yelled at you. I hit your car. I didn't listen when you told me to get out of the car. I shut the door in your face. And I didn't go to the corner. I did a lot of bad stuff." A few tears now dripped down my face.

He nodded, "Yes. You did make some very naughty decisions," he held out his arms.

I slowly made my way over to him and sat in his lap; tucking my head under his chin.

"Please tell me why you're acting out." He said.

My lower lip trembled, "I don't know." I sniffled.

"Does it have anything to do with what happened in group?" he asked.

I was quiet for a minute, "I didn't want to play with the pink playdoh, but I wouldn't have minded switching with James if he had asked nicely. But he just took it from me. And then he said that I didn't do a good job in group because I didn't talk. But you said I didn't have to talk." I said.

He nodded, "Why didn't you tell James that?" He asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know." I said.

He lifted my chin, "Honey, why didn't you stick up for yourself. Please tell me, you know I won't be mad at you." He said gently.

I wiped away some tears, "I-I was s-scared." I said.

"Scared? Scared of what baby?" He asked.

I ducked my face down, "I-I didn't want you to be mad at me for being rude." I said.

"Sweetie, you were not the rude one. James should not have taken your playdoh without your permission. I would never ever be mad at you for sticking up for yourself." He said.

"But you're mad at me now for being rude and I was just sticking up for myself." I pointed out.

He chuckled, "Honey, there's a difference in sticking up for yourself and being outright rude for no reason. I don't believe I did or said anything that warranted that kind of rudeness, what do you think?" He asked.

I sighed, looking down at my thumbs for a bit.

"Yeah, I guess I was very rude to you for no reason." I said.

He nodded, "So, I think, it's very fair for you to get a spanking, what do you think?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Big girl words please." He said.

"It's fair." I said quietly.

"And since you were extra rude and didn't listen to anything, I think you should go get the wooden spoon in the kitchen." He said.

I blushed, "I don't want the wooden spoon. Your hand will work just fine." I assured him.

He raised an eyebrow, "Yes. But I've decided that when you are unnecessarily rude we'll use the wooden spoon. Please go get it." he asked.

I got off his lap and retrieved the wooden spoon from the kitchen. I handed it to him.

He smiled softly, "Alright sweetie, let's get this over with." He said.

I nodded and pulled down my pants and underwear. I couldn't determine what I hated most, me pulling my own pants down for a spanking, or Edward doing it.

Once my pants were around my knees I carefully bent over his lap. I wiggled a little until I was comfortable.

He placed a hand on my back, "Why are you here Bella?" he asked.

I took a shaky breath, "B-because I was very, rude and I didn't stop when you asked me nicely. And I continued to be rude when I was in the corner." I said.

"Good girl," he said.

I felt him lift his hand with the spoon in it. The first swat was quick, but sharp. It definitely left an unforgettable sting. I took a sharp intake of breath.

The next flurry of smacks seemed to blend together, but somehow still stung individually. Fat tears were now dripping down my nose. I was sobbing loudly.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I was mean to you, daddy! I promise I will be a good girl!" I cried.

He didn't slow his smacks, "Isabella, I understand that you're going to have times where you aren't happy, but I still want your respect. I treat you with the utmost respect, and I'd like it in return." He never stopped spanking as he spoke.

The wooden spoon hurt, it hurt so bad. I couldn't stop crying, the stinging just lingered.

Finally, he stopped. Making sure that last smack was the sharpest of course. He tossed the wooden spoon onto the cushion beside us. He turned me so he was hugging me tightly in his arms.

I pressed my face into his shoulder and cried. He rubbed my back gently and hummed in my ear. After about ten minutes, my crying ceased into sniffled and hiccups.

"I'm sorry I was rude." I whispered.

He kissed my forehead, "All is forgiven honey." He smiled, "Do you want to go take a bath then read some?" He asked.

"Can I have my bottle with warm milk?" I asked.

He kissed the tip of my nose, "Of course." He said.


	22. Chapter 22

One more day until 2017! Woo hoo! The last chapter for 2016 is here! :) Please enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-Two

(Three Weeks Later)

Finals were next week for the Fall semester. I was in full panic mode. These tests were vital to passing.

But, of course, Edward was worried about me having another 'hurting myself,' moment so he was more overprotective than usual. He was also being more anal about how much time I spent studying.

He had made a study schedule; I was allowed to study for only two and half hours every night before dinner. And I could study for one more hour after dinner before bed. I knew he limited the time because he was worried and wanted me to be as stress free as possible.

He was more aimed to having me do fun things, like taking me to the park later so I could play on the swings without people judging me. I was apprehensive at first, but I quickly found out that I loved swinging with Edward pushing, or going down the slide and Edward waiting for me at the bottom.

Today was Friday, which meant it was another therapy session with Emily. I wasn't enthusiastic about it, but I never was.

"Why can't we just skip this one week so I can study?" I asked.

"No, Bella, we can't skip it. Emily's expecting us. Can you please tie your shoes?" He asked.

"Will you do it daddy?" I asked, wiggling my feet.

He sighed and kneeled down, tying my shoes.

"Thank you!" I smiled widely.

He kissed my nose, "Okay baby girl, let's get going."

I sighed and stood, "Do you think we could cut the therapy session short? Just so I can get home and study?" I asked.

He shot that down with a look.

(At Emily's Office)

"So, Bella, tell me how this week has been. Edward says that you have finals next week. How are you feeling about that?" She asked.

I twiddled my thumbs, "I'm fine with the finals." I said.

She raised an eyebrow, "You aren't nervous? Or stressed? Not even the tiniest little bit?" She asked.

I frowned, "Okay, I'm a little stressed. And worried. But it's just because Edward won't let me study for too long." I said.

"How does that make you feel?" She asked.

"It makes me angry." I pouted.

She nodded, "It's understandable to angry about that. But why do you think he won't let you study for too long?"

"I think it's because he's worried that I'll get overly stressed and hurt myself." I said.

"Have you felt the need to hurt yourself any this week?" She asked.

I thought for a moment, "If I tell you, will you tell Edward?" I asked.

"Well, Bella I do need to let him know that you've had thoughts of hurting yourself, just so he could be a bit more cautious, why are you concerned with me telling Edward? You're okay with me telling him anything else?" She asked.

"I just don't want to get in trouble." I said, I was working really hard to not get anymore spankings; the last one was as unpleasant as it could possibly be and it stuck around for a while.

"Bella, I can definitely assure you, that you won't be in any trouble for telling me if you've had any thoughts of hurting yourself. Bad thoughts and feelings are normal to have as long as you don't act upon those thoughts." She said.

I nodded, "I'll admit that a couple times this week, I've had thoughts of hurting myself." I said.

"When do these thoughts happen?" She asked.

I thought about it for a moment, "I guess it mainly happens really early in the morning, when I start to think about stuff." I said.

"What time in the morning?" She asked.

"Like two or three." I shrugged.

"Hmm. How long do you stay awake?" She asked.

"Um, maybe an hour or two." I said.

She wrote it down, "Bella, I want us to find a sleeping aid to help you stay asleep. Because, I do believe, that you're exhausting yourself by waking up that early and staying awake." She said.

"I don't want to take medicine." I said.

"Well, you don't have to necessarily take sleeping medication. There are herbal teas and natural remedies that have been proven to help with sleep." She said.

I nodded, "I'll be okay with that." I said.

"So, what do you think would help you become less stress?" She asked.

"My tests are on Monday and Tuesday. It's Friday now, so I won't be stressed for long." I said.

She nodded, "Yeah, but, let's try to find a solution to the stress. These won't be the last tests you'll have to take for school, am I correct?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so what do you think will help you be less stressed?"

I took a few seconds to think, "I really like going to playing at the playground with Edward."

"That sounds like fun. What else will help with the stress?"

"I'm not sure. Me and Edward do things that make me feel better. Watching movies, coloring, stuff like that." I said.

She nodded, "Very good, I'm glad that you two enjoy those things together," she said, "So, this session was very good. I'm very happy that we've made a lot of progress." She smiled.

I smiled back, "Yeah, I guess I'll admit that this has helped.

"Alright you want to go get Edward?" She asked.

I nodded and walked to the door. I poked my head in, "You can come in now." I said.

He set down the book he was reading and walked to the door. We sat on the couch, he held my hand gently.

"So, how was the session?" He asked.

"It was good, she was very excellent," Emily beamed, "Well, tonight we talked about ways that'll help her stress and things you two do together that help her stress. But, Bella informed me, that she has had thoughts of hurting herself." Emily said.

Edward turned his head sharply, looking down at me with disappointed eyes. Emily held up her hand.

"She said she's had thoughts but she hasn't acted upon them." Emily said.

Edward sighed in relief, then leaned down and kissed my forehead, "I'm so proud of you." He said to me.

I smiled.

"It's good that she's informed us. It means that we're moving in the right direction," Emily said, "But I'm not concerned with the thoughts of her hurting herself, I'm concerned with the fact that she wakes up at 2:00 and 3:00 in the morning and stays awake for a while. That's very unhealthy."

"I didn't know anything about that. How long has that been going on?" He asked.

"I'm not really sure when I started it." I shrugged.

"I'm going to suggest some teas you can try. Bella said that she doesn't want medication, which is perfectly acceptable," she ripped off a piece of paper and handed it to him, "Here are a few you can try. You can find these at any store. Try each one until you figure out which one works, then make it a nightly routine." She said.

He nodded, then shook her hand, "Thanks Emily, we're going right now to get these."

At Target

I'm pretty sure we had every nighttime tea in the shopping cart. I knew better than to say anything though; when he thought something was going to help me he was going in a full 110%.

He had four bags full of different herbal teas for me to try.

"I know it's a little late, but if we skip story time tonight can I study for an extra thirty minutes?" I asked.

He pursed his lips in thought, "How about an extra fifteen?" He said.

"Twenty-five?" I said.

"How about twenty? And I'll study with you? How does that sound?" He asked.

I thought for a moment, "Sure. That sounds good." I said.

When we got home, he unloaded the herbal teas. I retrieved my study books. I put them on the counter and watched Edward fix dinner.

"What are we having tonight?" I asked, my feet dangling from the barstool.

"I am fixing spaghetti with a side salad." He said.

"Ooo, yummy. Are we having garlic bread too?" I asked.

"Yes ma'am," He said; I smiled widely, "Why don't you write in your journal." He said.

I nodded and grabbed my journal from the counter, where I left it yesterday. This had become routine; he fixes dinner and I do my daily journal.

Bed Time

Daddy fixed the tea in my bottle, he figured it would be easier to drink the first batch of tea like that. He stroked my hair as I drank my bottle.

"Could I have one little chapter?" I asked as I drank.

He chuckled, "No Bella, we agreed that if we stay up and study we'd have to skip story time." He said.

"Awe." I whined a little, but put the bottle back into my mouth.

Once I was finished, I handed it to him.

"Can I have my pacey?" I asked.

He leaned over and got my pacey, "It's been awhile since you've wanted your pacey. Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine, I just want it." I said, plucking it into my mouth.

He chuckled and kissed my forehead.

Edward's POV

My phone buzzed at 2:30. I turned it off quickly and gently rolled over to look at Bella. Her breathing was soft and steady.

She was still sleeping; good, that meant the tea had worked. I sighed happily and kissed her temple. She mumbled a little, but stayed sleeping.


	23. Chapter 23

This chapter isn't very long. Thank you everyone for you support! Enjoy everyone 3

Chapter Twenty-Three

I yawned and stretched, my toes wiggling under the blankets. Edward was still snoring gently beside me. I sat up and started shaking his arm with my hands. I could feel the muscle under his skin.

He yawned, then stretched, his long body taking up the entire bed now.

"Edward wake up! Wake up!" I said cheerfully.

"Ugh, let me sleep for a couple more minutes." He said, his voice low and sleepy.

"Please wake up! We only have two hours until we have to leave, but I really, really want strawberry pancakes in the unicorn shapes! Please, please wakey up now!" I said.

He sighed, then sat up. He was taller than me, even though I was sitting on my knees and he was only sitting up a little.

"Alright, I'm up now. Let me take a shower, then you shower and by the time you get out breakfast will be ready." He said, throwing the blanket off of him and walking into the bathroom.

"Can I play on the IPad please?" I called.

"Yeah that's fine." He said.

I grabbed the IPad from the night table and started playing the new app we purchased. After twenty minutes, he stepped out of the bathroom and took the IPad from my hands.

"Okay honey, time for your shower. I'll start breakfast." He said.

I sighed and hustled into the bathroom.

After my shower I raced downstairs; I could smell the pancakes and bacon. I sat at the counter, smiling widely at the unicorn shaped pancakes. My feet were swinging happily.

"You're in a really good mood this morning." He smiled, handing me my plate and sitting down himself.

I poured a generous amount of syrup on my pancakes, "I just woke up feeling really refreshed." I said, then crammed the food into my mouth.

"Slow down sweetie," he said, "I'm going to drive you to school today." He said.

"Why?" I asked through a mouthful of food.

"Swallow your food," he scolded, "Because I want to drive you. Is there a crime against that?" He said.

"But you leave work an hour after I'm finished with school." I informed him.

"I'm getting out an hour early," He said.

"Why?" I asked, finishing off my breakfast.

He shrugged, "I just am. Are you done?" he asked, putting the dishes into the dishwasher.

"Okay, let's go." He said.

I nodded and put my coat on, following him to the car.

After School

I waited on the bench outside for Edward to pull up. As I waited I chatted with my friend Angela.

"So, when are you guys going to set a date?" She asked.

"Umm, I'm not sure honestly. I'd like to be done with school before we get married." I said.

"What about summer break? Then you'd have all that time off." She said.

"True," I hadn't thought of the summer, I would be on break.

Edward's car pulled around to the pickup.

"I'll see you later Angela." I said, waving bye to her.

I jumped into Edward's car and kissed him on the cheek.

"Hi honey, how was your day?" He asked.

"Very good, what about yours?" I asked.

"It was fine," he said. He took another road, instead of the one that led home.

"Where are we going?" I asked curiously.

He sighed, "Bella, I don't want you to freak out okay?" He asked.

"Okay…" I said slowly.

"We are going to go get our flu shots." He said.

My eyebrows shot up, "What! No! I don't want a shot!" Immediately, tears prickled the corner of my eyes.

"It's okay Bella. Just a tiny little pinch. After that we'll get dinner at Mimi's." He said.

"Daddy, I don't want my shot, please, I don't need it." I whined.

"I know you're scared, but I promise it is not a big deal." He said.

I put my face in my hands as we pulled into the CVS. His hand was on my back.

"Bella, it's okay. I promise it will be okay. Let's go get this over with so we can have a fun evening afterwards." He said.

He got out of the car and walked around my side and opened the door, "Come on sweetie."

I grabbed his hand and let him lead me into the CVS. We walked back to the medical part and sat in the chairs after Edward told the lady we were here for our flu shots.

The nurse lady came out holding a tray "I only have Disney princess band aides, is that okay?" She asked.

"Yeah," he said, then whispered to me, "Look Disney princess band aides, isn't that fun?" He asked.

I shrugged.

"Okay, who first?" She asked.

"I'll go first," Edward said, rolling up his sleeves.

The nurse poked his arm with the needle then took it out. It was just two seconds. She placed a Beauty and the Beast band aid on him. I giggled.

Then it was my turn.

I was shivering as I rolled up my sleeve, holding Edward's hand tightly. She cleaned the spot. My heart was beating quickly. She took the cap off the needle then brought it to my arm. I squeezed my eyes shut.

The needle pierced my skin, I did my best to not jump. It pinched, of course it didn't hurt that bad, but I still hated it. She put the band aid on my skin. I looked down to see a Little Mermaid band aide on my arm.

"See, that wasn't so bad." Edward smiled.

I nodded, "I still hated it. And I want the chocolate lava cake from Mimi's." I said, rubbing the spot.

He chuckled, "Okay, you were very good. A chocolate lava cake for us to share. After dinner." He smiled.

I nodded and leaned against him.


	24. Chapter 24

Woo another chapter! Please enjoy, don't forget to leave a little review. Have an awesome Hump Day!

Chapter Twenty-Four

(Thanksgiving)

I was rushing around the kitchen, trying to fix everything. This was the first year Edward and I were hosting the thanksgiving dinner. I was in full panic mode, trying to cook the turkey and all the trimmings perfectly.

Edward was working a half day; he'd be home sometime around noon. The family would be here at about 5:00. It was 11:30 now, I was looking forward to Edward being home.

As I whisked the mashed potatoes, my phone started ringing. It was Alice.

"Hello?" I said, a bit strained.

"Hey Bella, I was wondering if you wanted us to bring the pumpkin pie?" she asked.

"Uh, that's fine." I said; I had already made one, but extra dessert was always welcomed.

"Okay… are you alright? You sound like you're in pain." She said.

"I'm just trying to get everything cooked and I still have to clean the house. And I have to shower." I said.

"Do you want me to come over and help?" She asked.

"No, I've got it. I'll see you later tonight." I said quickly before hanging up.

I turned around quickly to deal open the oven, I just realized that I had cream spinach cooking underneath the turkey.

As I turned, my arm hit the bowl of mashed potatoes, knocking them to the floor. I gasped and gathered shattered pieces.

"Damn it." I hissed.

I went to the hallway closet and grabbed the mop. Now I'd have to mop the entire floor.

Once that was cleaned, I remembered why I had knocked the mashed potatoes over. Shit! I raced to the oven and pulled out a burnt spinach casserole.

I groaned and threw the pan into the sink, making an even bigger mess. I stood there for a moment, looking at the disaster around me.

I sunk down to the floor and started crying. This dinner was ruined way before it even started. This was the first year I was hosting it, and I can't even keep things in order.

"Bella! I'm home!" Edward called from the front door.

I didn't move from my spot. Instead I kept my face on my knees.

"Honey, what's wrong?" He asked, kneeling down beside me.

"I ruin everything." I cried.

"Oh, honey, nothing is ruined." He said.

"Yes it is. The mashed potatoes fell and I burnt the spinach casserole." I cried, more tears rushing down my cheek.

He sighed and pulled me onto his lap, "It's alright baby girl. We've got hours before anyone is supposed to be here. So let's take an hour and relax." He said.

"I can't relax until everything is done!" I whined.

He rubbed my back soothingly, "We'll be fine for one hour. Let's go get cleaned up, and clean up the downstairs a little, then we can finish the dinner. I'm here now, I can help. Just take a deep breath." He said.

I took the deepest breath I could. Then a couple more after that. He lifted my face from my hands.  
"Now, let's pick up down here okay? Hmm? How does that sound?" He asked.

I nodded, "But the upstairs is messy too." I said.

"No one will be going upstairs honey. Everyone will be in the dining room, kitchen, and living room. And the bathroom too. Luckily, those rooms aren't really dirty," he stood, hand held out, "C'mon, let's go get it done."

An Hour Later

I did feel better. Edward and I got everything cleaned in a quick amount of time. Then we cleaned ourselves up and resumed working on the dinner.

Edward fixed the mashed potatoes while I threw together a spinach casserole. We worked very well together; I knew he was incredible, but moments like these just really showed me how amazing he really was.

I leaned up and kissed his cheek, "I love you." I said, wrapping my arms around his midsection.

He chuckled, "I love you too baby."

I held onto him for a few moments while he whipped the potatoes, "So, I was thinking, that June is a very beautiful time to get married." He paused, then spun around, wrapping his arms around me.

"It is a very, very beautiful month. Sunny, the flowers are in bloom. Were you thinking of setting a date in June?" He asked.

"Well, I was just thinking, that it'd be the perfect time. I would be out of school before June, summer break starts, and our anniversary is June 20th. We could have our wedding, and then take the whole summer honeymooning." I smiled.

He laughed, "Hmm, June sounds like an excellent time. We could have the wedding on the 20th."

"Our first date anniversary _and_ our wedding anniversary. It'd be a super anniversary."

His boisterous laugh filled the room, "A super anniversary. That sounds awesome, extra gifts." He said.

"We'd have to take the whole week to celebrate." I smiled.

He kissed my forehead, "So, this June 20th you and me will be married." He said.

"That sounds good to me! Now, we just have to start planning, we have seven months to get everything together." I said.

He nodded, "Luckily, we'll have my mother, Rosalie, and of course Alice. We'll get it all done."

"Should we tell everyone tonight that we've set a date?" I asked.

"It's up to you honey," he said.

I thought for a moment, "Yes. Let's tell everyone tonight."

5:30

Edward and I managed to finish dinner just as everyone walked through the door. Hugs, kisses, and 'Happy Thanksgiving's!' ensured.

The men quickly ran into the living room to turn on the game, each had a beer in their hand. I, along with Alice, Rosalie, and Esme, walked into the kitchen. \

I passed out glasses for wine.

"None for me thanks." Rosalie said, with a cheeky smile.

"Why?" Esme asked, giving her a once over.

Her smile widened, "Well, Emmett and I weren't going to say anything just yet but… we think I'm pregnant." She said.

"What?" I said, a smile creeping onto my face.

"I took a couple home pregnancy tests and they all said positive. We're going to the doctor On Tuesday to know for sure."

"Congratulations!" We all said at the same time.

We talked about her being pregnant for a few minutes, then, when Emmett, stuck his head into the kitchen, wondering where dinner was, we went about serving the food.

As we all sat at the table, Edward and I held hands underneath. Occasionally I'd glance at him with a smile. I didn't realize that someone had noticed.

"You two are awful cheery tonight, what's up?" Emmett asked.

We looked at each other again and smiled, "Well, we've set a date for the wedding." Edward said.

A round of 'awes.'

"What day?" Alice asked, her pie long forgotten.

"June 20th." I answered.

"That's only seven months away. We've got so much planning to do!" Alice said.

I laughed, "Yeah, there's a lot to do. But, luckily, I can recruit you to help."

Esme was smiling widely, "Of course I'm here at your disposal as well. The first thing we need to do, is find a venue." She said.

I nodded, "Since I'm off, I was going to do some research on venues. I'm not a hundred percent sure what I want in a venue."

Edward squeezed my hand, "We have plenty of time to plan everything out."


	25. Chapter 25

I feel like this year is going to zoom by, it's already the 6th of January. Oh well, does anyone have any new year's resolutions? Mine is to have a positive attitude, and so far I've done pretty well. Like, last night, my car ran out of gas (my fault) and I didn't have a breakdown. I just laughed it off. My classes start back up on Monday, so I'll typically update this story... a few times a week, that might change because of school. But maybe not, I'm already on Chapter Forty-Three in my word doc. We'll see. Anyways, everyone enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five

That next afternoon while Edward was working out, I was doing research for venues on my computer. In this area alone, there were over a hundred venues. I could feel myself panicking a little, but I kept a good hold on it.

"Did you find anything you like?" Edward asked, his breathing labored as he ran on the treadmill.

"Um, well, I've saved a bunch of places… There are just so many." I said, saving another one to my profile.

"We can narrow our choices down, then go and do a walk through. See which one is our favorite." He said.

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Don't overwhelm yourself Bella." He said.

I sighed, "I'm trying not to. But, I just thought about everything we have to get done and it's just… a lot." I said.

"Well, that's why we have Alice and mom and Rose to help us. Honey, don't fret. We're going to get everything done in time." He said.

I sighed internally. He wouldn't understand because he was a man. He didn't know that every little detail had to be planned out or it could be a disaster.

One Week Later

Edward and I narrowed down the venue list to ten and this weekend, we were going to go look at all of them.

"Do you have your check list sweetie?" He asked.

"Yeah daddy," I said, holding the paper up.

He was buttoning up his shirt, "Alright, now, do you promise me that if you feel overwhelmed by anything, you'll tell me?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes behind his back, "Yes I promise I'll tell you." I said as I put my earrings in.

"I'm serious Bella, I don't want you to have a panic attack about this." He said.

"I won't, we've narrowed the venue list down. Now, are you ready?" I asked.

He gave me a look, "Yes, let's go."

Nine venues down and one more to go. None of the venues completed my checklist of things I wanted. I kept thinking to myself, maybe my list is too demanding, but whenever I voiced the idea, Edward assured me that my demands were not too demanding.

"I have a really good feeling about this last one." He said cheerfully as we got into the car.

"Yeah, whatever." I snipped.

He looked over with a stern look on his face, "Honey, I know you're feeling discouraged, but we're going to find the perfect venue." He said.

I sighed, "Okay." I said, my tone ending the conversation.

The next venue was a winery; it was about two hours outside of the city. Two hours was the farthest one, that's why we had saved it for last. I had been hoping to find a venue before we had to drive all the way out here.

"Alright, here we are." Edward said, as we turned down the long driveway.

"Wow, what a driveway." I said, looking at the rows of trees with orange and red leaves on them.

"It's pretty though. The fall leaves." He said.

I nodded, agreeing with him.

The winery was a large stone mansion. Vines climbed up the sides, giving it an old timey look. Behind the mansion was a large vineyard. There was a very large pond, with a willow tree hanging gracefully over the water.

"Oh, wow, it's beautiful." I said, taking in the area.

There was a woman in a business suit standing on the grand front porch.

"Mr. Cullen and Mrs. Swan I presume?" She said with a big smile.

Edward shook her hand, "Nice to meet you." He said.

"You as well, now, shall we go inside and take a peek?" She asked.

I nodded enthusiastically. She opened the big doors, presenting an entry way.

"Now, we have the front stairs, which lead up to the large bridal suite that overlooks the bedroom, the perfect spot for the 'pre-wedding' photos." She said.

I nodded, staring at the beautifully decorated mansion. They were decorated for Christmas, which made the place look more magical.

"Now, we have two different ballrooms, one is the large ballroom and the other is small." She showed us the bigger one first.

"I don't think we'll need the big one," it was true, only Edward's family would be in attendance, and he did have a big family, but not big enough for that ballroom.

"Let me show you the smaller room." She said.

She opened the doors to the smaller ballroom. I looked all around it in amazement.

"It's beautiful." I said.

The grand chandeliers were glimmering brightly. There were round tables pushed against the walls, but she assured us that they could be moved, and cloth table mats could be placed over them. She showed us where the head table sat.

Whatever kind of musical entertainment we chose, there was a stage in front for them to set up. And the tables could be arranged around as to make a dancefloor.

"The bathrooms are right through there, and right in that corner, if you want, can go a bar," She said, "But, we also serve wine with a three glass minimum." She said.

I nodded, "Where's the ceremony room?" I asked.

"Well, there is no actual ceremony room, but there are a couple different options," she walked us to the French Doors and opened them.

"A lot of brides have their actual ceremonies by the beautiful lake under the willow tree," she said, then turned her attention to the vineyard, "Some brides have even created a wedding spot in the vineyards." She said.

Edward looked down at me, "I know you didn't really want the wedding outside, but, it's such a beautiful place… what do you think?" He asked.

I looked around before answering, "I love it… It's perfect. It's so beautiful, and I can only imagine how pretty it'll be in June." I said.

He wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head, "Well, I think we've picked the spot for our wedding." He told the woman.

She smiled widely, "Excellent! Let's go into the office and sign some paperwork. Then I'll give you a booklet, on all of the services we provide." She smiled at me now.

I smiled back.

After the paperwork was signed, and a deposit was made, we left our wedding spot in high spirits.

"Let's go to dinner, and celebrate." He said cheerfully.

"That sounds like a great idea. Let's go to Mimi's. I want something quiet and small." I said, looking through the booklet.

He reached over and took the booklet from me. I looked up with a confused look on my face.

"Okay, we've picked the venue, now I think that is enough planning for a couple of days." He said.

"What? There's so much to do, I can't just stop planning." I said, crossing my arms.

"Bella, I don't want you to get overwhelmed. You got overwhelmed today on the fifth venue, now I want you to take a break from wedding planning." He said, tucking the booklet into his coat pocket.

"Edward, there is so much to do! We've got to pick the food, the wine, the colors, the flowers, the silverware, the center pieces, the cake, the music, the décor…" I stopped myself; okay, he had a point.

"See, you're getting overwhelmed right now. I'm thinking we limit the wedding planning, so you don't become to stressed." He said.

"Okay, what were you thinking?"

He thought for a moment, "Hmm, what about three and a half hours a day?" He said.

I sighed, "Only three and a half?"

"Yeah, I figured you could break up the planning. Do flowers one day, food another, and maybe so on and so forth." He said.

"What about when I pick out the dress?" I asked.

"I won't limit that, you and the girls can take all day if you want, that's a special day." He said.

I smiled, "Thanks, and don't forget the cake testing." I said.

He chuckled, "Okay, no limit on special occasions, like the dress and cake testing." He said.

I nodded but still thought about the wedding. There was still so much planning to do, but I knew better than to fight him on this. He was all about setting limits on things that he knows stresses me.


	26. Chapter 26

Woo hoo! Chapter Twenty-six is up! it's snowing here so we are officially stuck in the house. Nothing to do except write and drink hot chocolate! Oh, and a special shout out to the guest reviewer! Your constant support and reviewing of this story is much appreciated. And about the lighter chapters, I posted them because I wanted you guys to have a deeper look into their relationship and kind of understand that Bella isn't a 'little,' all of the time. Plus some people have a problem with Edward being a hard ass and being mean to Bella. And me, personally, I like to add in lighter chapters with heart so the story doesn't seem like the same depressing or stressful chapter over and over again. I like to add in a little fluff and honey amongst the vinegar and salt (I'm hungry so food analogies).

Anyways, enjoy the story! Lots of love and be safe if it's snowing in your area!

Chapter Twenty-Six

Day two of not planning the wedding, and I was on edge. Edward was being a hard ass about the planning. He put a lock on the computers, and I could only do homework when he was home. It was really annoying.

"It's so annoying Alice! I just want to plan the wedding so it's perfect, but he's being a total asshole about it." I said, taking a hard bite out of an apple.

"Why don't you just plan the wedding on one of the school's computer?" She said.

I paused for a moment, "Hmm, I didn't think about that," I said, "The only problem is, Edward sets a limit on homework time. So, I don't know how I'd get away with staying at the school later." I said.

She was quiet for a moment, "Hmm, well, what if you tell him you're staying for a group project for class? I think he'd go for that."

I nodded, "True. And he couldn't say anything, because it would be an obligation to do my part of the project."  
"Yes, see, I'm great to have around, I have excellent ideas."

I nodded, then heard the garage door open, "Oh hey, I gotta go, Edward's here." I said.

Edward walked through the door, setting his briefcase down by the counter.

"Hey babe," he said, kissing me.

"Hey Edward," I said, kissing him back, "Hey, I forgot to tell you. My professor assigned a group project. And the only time we can do it is after class. I need to stay after class for two or so hours." I said.

"Oh, okay, that's fine honey. Will you just text me on the days you're staying after and call me when you leave?" He asked.

"Of course," I beamed, happy that the plan was working.

"What days are you staying after?" He asked.

"Every day until it's done. The people I got grouped up with are super anal and really smart." I said.

"And you aren't?" He said jokingly.

"Ha ha ha," I said, "So, what's for dinner?" I asked.

The Next Day

After class I raced to the library. Luckily for me, there were a couple of computers opened. I smiled and went to the one in the corner.

Okay, I brought my list; flowers first. I already knew the flowers I was going to use; blue, purple, and white freesia flowers. They were the first flowers Edward ever brought to me on our first date.

Once the flowers were ordered, I searched through ideas for dinner. Of course there were several options, buffet style or restaurant style. Either way, I'd have to pick all the food. And the alcohol.

I groaned and slumped my head against the desk. So much planning.

But, on top of the planning, I felt guilty. I feel guilty for lying to Edward about what I'm actually doing. I knew better than to lie to him, it was one of the rules. He didn't lie to me, ever.

I sighed and picked my head back up, no, I had to lie to him. I needed to get this done so we could have the perfect wedding and reception. He didn't understand.

I searched through possible caterers, there were hundreds in this area. After spending an hour on the caterers, I decided to push that off for now.

The chair beside me moved and someone sat down. I looked over; it was my school friend Angela.

"Hey, Bella." She said.

"Hey Angela," I said, smiling as best as I could.

"Planning for your wedding?" She asked.

I frowned slightly, "Trying too, I didn't realize how stressful it was going to be," I whined.

She laughed, "I'm sure it'll be perfect. Ben and I are looking forward to it." She said.

"You don't have to plan it," I said.

She smiled, "It's going to be great. You shouldn't stress yourself out too much." She said.

I smiled, "I'll try," I said, beginning to log off, "Alright, I've got to go." I said.

As I got in my car, I called Edward, "Hey," I said, drawing out the hey.

"Hey honey, how was group?" He asked.

Cue the guilt. "It was fine." I lied.

"Good, you on your way?" He asked.

"Yeah I just left for school."

"Did you already eat?" He asked.

"No and I'm starved," I said.

He laughed, "Good, I ordered pizza." He said.

I smiled, "Pizza with sausage on it?" I asked.

"Of course you carnivore." He chuckled.

"Yay," I said before signing off.

Edward gathered me up in his arms as soon as I walked through the door. He squeezed me tightly.

"Missed you," he said.

I laughed, "I missed you too!" I said, still squeezing him tightly.

He set me down on my feet, his lips smacking against mine loudly.

"The pizza is sitting in the oven," He said, holding my hand all the way to the kitchen.

I sat at the counter, he already had the plates out. I took a sip of the tea as he took the pizza out. He put the box on the counter and opened the top. The smell of delicious pizza, I smiled widely.

"So, what kind of project are you working on at school?" he asked.

I swallowed the slice of pizza, it went down sharp. I didn't think he'd ask about the project.

"Uh, it's for child psychology. We have to write a four-part paper." I said.

He nodded, "That doesn't sound fun," he chuckled.

I half smiled… I felt so guilty. But I knew I had to plan the wedding.

He started talking about his day, I tried to listen as best as I could.

"Bella?" He interrupted my thoughts.

"Uh, what?" I asked.

"Honeymoon?" He said.

"Um what about the honeymoon?" I asked.

He gave me a look, "Are you feeling okay?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm fine." I answered.

"You seem out of it," he got from his chair and felt my forehead, "Do you feel okay?"

I swatted his hands away gently, "I'm fine Edward."

"Are you feeling stressed? About the group?" He asked.

"No!" I said a little too loudly, "I mean no, I might just be a little more tired than usual."

He nodded, "Okay, well, are you done?" He asked.

"Yeah."

He put the dishes in the sink, "Let's go take a bath then go to bed." He said.

"What? Bed? Can I watch a little television please?" I asked.

"No Bella, if you're tired then we need to wind down. I'm tired too." He said.

I sighed and hopped down from the table, "Okay, can I at least play with my bath paints?" I asked.

"Yes you can." He said.

After my bath, I was dressed in my footie pajamas and laying in the bed. Edward was downstairs making my tea. I was wiggling my feet under the blankets.

He finally came back up, turning the lights off behind him. He handed me my bottle. I took a couple of sips, then made a face.

"I wish I had milk." I said.

He chuckled and crawled into bed beside me. I snuggled up to him, resting my head in the crook of his outstretched arm.

"Is everything okay Bella?" he asked, stroking my cheek with his finger.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, putting the bottle back into my mouth.

He didn't say anything, "Do you want me to read?" He asked.

I nodded. He reached over and grabbed the IPad off the night table.


	27. Chapter 27

I survived the snow and wrote a couple of chapters! Woo! Anyways, here is 27. Please enjoy! And dear guest reviewer, I have an honest question; if my story repulses you so much and is just not right in any way, why do you continue to read it? I would appreciate an answer.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I was overwhelmed. Staying late to plan the wedding had really taken a toll on me. I couldn't sleep even with the special tea. I was overly tired and grouchy. And of course, today was the therapy session with Emily. I fumed the entire ride.

"Bella, what is going on?" Edward asked.

"Nothing." I said.

He sighed, "Bella it really seems like something is bothering you." He said.

"Nothing is bothering me." I growled.

He gave me a stern look as we pulled into Emily's office building. Edward got out and waited for me. He held out his hand.

I kept walking straight to the door. He sighed heavily.

Emily smiled as we walked into the room, "Hey guys," she said.

"Hey Emily." Edward said, I didn't say anything, "Bella, don't be rude to Emily."

I thumped down on the couch, arms crossed. He said and leaned closer to Emily.

"Something's bothering her. She's had an attitude since she woke up." He said.

"Please talk about me like I'm not here." I snapped.

Edward looked at me, his eyes blazing now. I took it too far.

Emily held her hands up, "It's okay, why don't you go out there and we'll do our session." She said.

Edward nodded, then left the room.

Emily sat in her chair, "Do you want anything to drink Bella? We got a new Keurig with a ton of different flavors. Coffee, hot chocolate."

"I don't want anything." I huffed.

"Alright, well, let's just get started then," she took out her notepad, "Can you tell me what's bothering you?"

I looked down at my hands, watching my thumbs.

"I know there is something bothering you, you can tell me you know." He said.

I sighed, "I-I've done something bad." I said.

She nodded, "Can you tell me?" She asked.

"I don't want to tell Edward. He's gonna be mad." I said.

"If you tell me, we could find a way to tell him so he won't be mad." She said.

"I broke a rule though. And it's one he's going to be really mad about." I put my face in my hands.

"Well, the best thing to do is tell him and get it over with. Is the guilt what's bothering you?" She asked.

I nodded, "Edward set a limit on how much wedding planning I'm supposed to do. So I lied and told him I had a group project after class, and I've been using the school's computer to plan the wedding."

She nodded again, "Hmm, well, you already know that he's going to be upset. But, can you tell me why you think he's going to be upset?" She asked.

"He sets the limit because he doesn't want me to be overwhelmed," I sighed heavily, "And he was right. I feel really, really, overwhelmed." I said, now looking up.

Emily smiled gently, "I think, it would make you feel a whole lot better if you told him the truth. He'll be upset, but you can anticipate that."

"I just know I'm going to get a spanking." I told her.

"Yeah, I guess that isn't going to be much fun. But, you did break the rule. You know he only makes them because he worries about you. I guess it's best to anticipate that you are going to be punished for breaking the rule."

I took a deep breath, "I hate spankings."

She laughed, "I don't think anyone likes getting a spanking," she paused, "Except a selected few in society."

I laughed with her, "But what if he's really, really mad?"

"Do you think he'll punish you out of anger?" She asked.

"No, never. Edward is always calm… but what if he's really mad." I asked.

"What are you trying to ask?" She asked.

I sighed, "What if this is the thing that will set him over the edge? And makes him leave?" I asked.

She stared at me for a few minutes, "Bella, Edward loves you so much. More than you could ever imagine. I can see that, anyone around you can see that. Is there a reason you think he'll leave?" She asked.

I nibbled my lip, "I-I just… I don't know."

"You do know."

I nodded, "I don't deserve someone like Edward. I-I'm not used to having someone care for me, and I'm scared that I'm ruining it with all my issues. Because he could find someone so much better. I've never had anything good in my life, Edward is finally something good in my life and I'm scared I'm going to lose him." I said, a few tears welling up in my eyes.

She nodded, "That is a scary thing. Have you ever spoken with Edward about your fears?"

"No, because I worry him with everything." I grumbled.

"Bella the worst thing you can possibly do in a relationship is keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. If there is something worrying you, then the best thing to do, is to tell Edward. Talk to him, when you keep these things bottled up, then they become explosive." She said.

I nodded, "I know that… sometimes, I just, feel like I can't tell him anything." I said.

"Why?" She asked.

I looked down at my lap, "I feel like…. he won't believe me."

"Mm, did someone not believe you Bella?" She asked.

I nibbled my lip, "I-I don't know." I said quietly.

"You do know; can you please tell me?" She asked.

I sat there in silence, staring at my lap.

"How about, you write it down in your journal tonight. You don't have to share it with me, but later on, when you're ready to share it with me, you can do it easily." She said.

I nodded.

"Actually, I have something that I'd like for you to do this week for me," she said, "I want you to write a letter. Write a letter to your parents. Say whatever you want to say."

I looked up with a fearful face and tears streaming down my cheeks, "I don't want to send them a letter!" I squealed.

She put her hands up, her eyes wide, "No! We're not going to send the letter to them, I swear. At the end of the week when you come back, we're going to do a cleansing exercise with it."

She said calmly.

I couldn't stop crying though; the thought of contacting my parents sent a surge of fear through me. I vowed to never see them ever again and I meant it.

Emily must have left and got Edward because I was suddenly lifted into his lap. His hands wrapping around my body.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay honey," he whispered gently, "It's alright, calm down." He said.

I clutched his shirtfront tightly in my grasp. He started rocking me.

"It's okay Bell, I promise it's okay. You don't have to send anything to anyone." He said.

I nodded, "I know." I cried.

"Then why are you crying?" He asked.

"B-because I did something b-bad. And y-you're going to be m-mad at me," I said.

He rubbed my back, "What did you do sweetie?" he asked.

My lower lip trembled, "I-I lied about the after class school group project. I've really been working on the wedding." I blurted out.

He was quiet, but still held me and rubbed my back. I finally gathered the courage to look up at him. His face was unreadable.

"Are you really, really, really, really, mad at me?" I asked in a small voice.

He took a deep breath, then looked at me, "No, sweetheart, I'm not mad at you. I just very disappointed." He said.

Somehow, him saying he was disappointed in me, was a thousand times worse than him being mad at me. More tears rushed down my cheeks.

"I-I-I'm so, so, so, so, sorry," I cried and threw my arms around his neck.

His arms pulled me closer, "Finish your session with Emily, then we will go home and discuss this, okay?"

"C-can we just go home now and get it over with? I already know I'm getting a spanking." I said.

He nodded, "You are, but you need to finish with Emily." He said.


	28. Chapter 28

This is a short chapter so I'll probably put up another update today. Enjoy!

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Chapter Twenty-Eight

I didn't say anything as we drove home. I was nervous about the spanking, that I knew I deserved but, still. It was going to hurt.

He wasn't mad, I knew this, but he was disappointed. That somehow seemed worse than him being mad. I felt horrible.

When we pulled into the driveway, my stomach started churning. I followed Edward into the house.

He didn't say anything, instead he just went into the kitchen. I went into the corner in the living room. Edward walked into the room, he didn't say anything he just sat in the chair.

"Come here Bella." He said gently.

I took a deep breath and walked to him. I stood in front him, looking down at my feet. I could see the wooden spoon beside him. My breathing was shaky.

"Bella, can you tell me why you're going to get a spanking?" He asked.

"I-I lied to you about what I was really doing at school. I was working on the wedding even though you set limits." I said.

He nodded and reached forward, tugging my pants and underwear done. My knees were trembling. He patted his lap.

I leaned over him, gripping his pants as he shifted.

"Alright Bella," he said, one hand on my back, "The reason I set limits is because I don't want you to overwhelm yourself. I worry about you, and these last couple of days I knew that something was wrong. The progress we've made these last few weeks have been phenomenal; I don't want to ruin that progress." He said.

I nodded, shivering from the lack of pants.

He lifted the wooden spoon and began.

Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!

The first five made me choke on my breath. The spoon was the worse. He hand hurt, but this spoon hurt the worst. The spoon was reserved for the really important rules. I had broken a really important rule.

Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!

I was sobbing at this point, my face pressed into his pants. My butt was on fire.

Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I cried.

Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!

"Bella, I don't want you overwhelming yourself. That's when you start hurting yourself." He said as he continued to swat.

"I'm so, so, so, sorry!" I sobbed.

He finally stopped and pulled me into his arms. I sobbed into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry!" I said repeatedly.

He rubbed my back.

"It's okay sweetie," He said, "But, can I ask why it is so important for you to plan the wedding every day?" He asked.

"I-I just want our wedding to be perfect." I said, turning my face into his neck.

"But honey, it will be perfect even if you don't plan it every day." He said.

"I know. But it just bothers me if I got to long without planning it. I feel like I'll forget stuff." I said.

He nodded, "Okay, well, you know what. Me and you are going to make a list of wedding things we need. Then every other day, we'll take three hours and together we'll plan it." He said.

I nodded, "On the days that I don't plan the wedding, can I work on homework?" I asked.

"Of course." He said, "You want to go get a notepad and a pen?"

I nodded and got up from his lap, then retrieved my underwear. I didn't bother with my jeans; my butt was too sore.

I returned with a pen and pad, then sat on his knee.

"Alright, how about flowers?" He said.

I blushed, "I uh already ordered the flowers." I said.

He nodded, "I see, tell me what you've planned." He said.

"I got the flowers, picked the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner, and I've narrowed down the choices for wedding reception." I said.

"Okay, well, then let cross flowers and rehearsal dinner off the list," he said.

"What else?"

"Um, well, there's the color scheme, center pieces, the silverware, food, alcohol, music, table cloths… and we have to go look at the arch and stuff the winery had." I said.

He nodded, "Alright, so, every other night, me and you will sit down at the computer and knock on to two of these off the list."

I nodded, "Oh and next month we have a cake testing appointment with Hollie's Bakery." I said.

He smiled, "Sweet, I can't wait for that." He said, blowing a raspberry on my cheek. I giggled loudly.

"And I also made an appointment in February for the wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses." I said.

"Alright, well, you've actually gotten quite a bit done. So, tonight and tomorrow, we're going to relax. Then me and you will plan the wedding. Sound good?" He asked.

I nodded.


	29. Chapter 29

Here's the second update today! I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I woke up with intense stomach pains. I rolled off of Edward and onto my side. Oh no. The familiar stomach flipping was started. There was an acidic taste in the back of my throat. I was shivering too; it was so cold.

The bed moved, making my stomach churn more.

"Bella?" Edward said tiredly a hand on my shoulder.

"Get your hand off me." I said through gritted teeth.

"Hey, watch it," he said sternly, "What's wrong?" He asked.

"I-I don't feel good." I said.

"Do you think you're going to…" before he could finish that, I vomited on the blanket.

He jerked out of bed quickly, turning on the light. I was coughing, trying to catch my breath as the vomit ceased into gags.

I heard the shower running. Then Edward ran back out of the bathroom.

"Come here," he said, pulling my soiled night dress over my head.

"I-I'm sorry," I started.

"Shh, it's okay." He said, lifting me out of the bed.

He sat me on my bottom in the shower, "Just sit under there until I come back okay?"

"Where are you going!" I demanded, holding his hand tightly.

"To change the bed," He said, "I'll be right back,"

I sat under the warm water, brushing the vile off of me. I could hear Edward moving around in the bedroom. It took him about fifteen minutes to clean the bed.

He came back into bathroom, holding a towel and a pair of my footies.

"Come here honey." He said, turning the water off.

I stretched my arms out, he wrapped the towel around me. It was warm. Then he carried me to the sink and sat me down on the counter.

"Brush your teeth," He asked.

I brushed my teeth while he brushed out my head and pulled it up into a sock bun. Then he dressed me in my footies.

He lifted me off the counter again and laid me on the bed. My stomach was still upset and I had that awful sick feeling in my head. He pulled the blankets up around my neck.

"Here's the trashcan, if you have to throw up again. Do you want me to get you some ginger ale?" he asked.

I nodded, "Can I have some in my bottle please?" I asked in a cracked voice.

"Yes baby." He said.

I lifted my arms up, "I want to go with you." I whined.

"Sweetheart just stay in bed okay?" He said.

"Nooo! I want you!" I started crying.

"Okay, okay." He said, lifting me.

I was still crying into his shoulder. I wasn't a hundred percent sure why I was crying; maybe it was because I was sick.

"Shhh sweetie, shhh. It's okay baby, stop crying." He said as he made my bottle. I watched him pour ginger ale, "Do you want some crackers?" he asked.

I shook my head, my thumb in my mouth.

"Okay." He handed me the bottle and started upstairs.

"Can we read?" I asked.

"No, honey, we need to go to bed. You're sick, you need sleep." He said, tucking me back into our bed.

I sniffled and drank my bottle as he crawled in beside me. I snuggled into his side.

The Next Morning

I threw up three times after he changed the bedsheets. But, I woke up feeling okay. Of course, overprotective Edward wasn't going to let up.

"Bella, you're staying home. You were very sick last night and you could still be sick. I don't want you to go to school and come back even more sick than you were last night." He said, as he put his clothes on for work.

"Ugh, but daddy!" I whined.

"No buts young lady, you're staying in bed until I get home." He said.

"All day long! That's not fair! You're going to be in work forever!" I whined.

"No, I'm not. I'm planning on leaving early so I can come back here and take care of you," He said.

"I want you to stay home all day with me." I pouted, crossing my arms.

"I know baby, if I could take off all day I would. But I have to go in and do some things before I can come home." He said, "Now, you have your coloring books, the remote for up here, and a box of saltines and your ginger ale." He said.

My lip was poked out, "Can we do wedding planning when you get back? Tonight is our night to plan." I said.

He thought for a minute, "When I get back home, and you feel better, we can." He said.

"Can I at least go into my room and play? I do feel better." I said.

"No sweetie. Whatever made you sick last night could still be in your system, and I don't want you spreading it throughout the house." He said.

I groaned and thumped back against the bed. I was annoyed that I had to stay in bed and that Edward wasn't going to be here to keep me company.

He leaned down and kissed my forehead, "I'll be back soon honey. Then, if you're feeling okay, we'll plan the wedding and we'll play in your playroom."

I nodded and watched him go. I felt sad that he had to leave.

Edward's POV

I felt bad that I had to leave her home alone while she was sick; but I had to do a few hours of work. I was able to get off at 12:00.

I was sure she just had a little bug and it passed. But I just wanted to make sure it was only a bug and she wouldn't spread it around the house.

Bella's POV

I colored a ton of pages, watched some TV, and ate some crackers. It was boring. I wasn't sick. I wanted to play in my room. We just now got it all set up with everything and I wanted to play in it.

I groaned and thumped back onto the bed. I looked at my phone, then picked it up.

"Hey Alice." I said.

"Hey Bella, what are you up too?" She asked.

"Nothing. Lying in bed." I grumbled.

"You're not in class?" She asked.

"No, I was sick last night. But Edward made me stay home." I said.

"Ohh, got it," she said, "So are you bored?" She asked.

"Yes. So bored! I'm waiting on Edward to get home." I said.

"What time is he supposed to be home?" She asked.

"He said he'd be home early. But I don't know." I said.

"Hmm, it's almost lunch. He should probably be home soon." She said.

I sighed, "Yeah, I know. I'm just so bored!" I whined.

Edward's POV

I went into the administrator's office. Mrs. Denali had called me in there. I knocked tentatively.

"Come in!" She called.

Mrs. Denali was sitting behind her desk, looking over paperwork. She looked up and smiled at me.

"Edward, please sit." She motioned to the chair.

I sat.

"How are you?" She asked, pushing her papers aside.

"Fine, and you?" I asked.

"I am well," she clasped her hands together on her desk, "So, as you know, Dr. Messer retired this month. And I've been looking for a replacement as head doctor on the fifth floor. And I'm seriously considering you." She smiled.

I was a bit in shock, "Really? That's incredible." I said, floored that I'd actually be considered over the other doctors who had seniority over me.

"Yeah, well, I was reviewing everyone's time here and their performance, and I must say that you have done an incredible job. I know you haven't been here as long as some of the others, but I see something in you," she pointed her pen at me, "You are very, very observant when it comes to the patients. You get consistent positive reviews from patients and their families, and I believe you'd make an incredible head doctor." She said.

I nodded, "I would absolutely love to take Dr. Messer's place. It sounds like an incredible opportunity."

"That is awesome, I'm so glad," her smile widened, "Now, you have to do a bit of light training, but it only takes a week or two. The only inconvenience is a few conferences in New York you have to attend, but it's only for a week." She said.

I stopped my excitement, "A week in New York?" I said.

"Yes, but the meetings are only once a year. They meetings themselves aren't fun, but experiencing the city is nice. Paid dinners, paid hotel, it's not all bad. Plus, the nightlife is fun. I've been to a few." She said.

I nodded, looking passed her and thinking. One week in New York; I knew Bella couldn't take a week off, her school was strict about absences and she's already missed three days this semester. Personally, I didn't understand the rule, she made A's but the school wouldn't overlook it.

"Is everything okay?" She asked.

"Uh, yeah, I'm just not sure about the week in New York." I said.

She frowned slightly, "If you want the job, the meeting in New York is required. Really, the week flies by. Plus, it's a great opportunity for you. You move to head doctor, pick your own schedule, oversee everything. It would also help you in the future when you decide to open your own private practice." She said.

When she had interviewed me for the job my ten-year plan included running my own practice.

"Yeah, it's a great opportunity and I want it… But can I have the night to think it over please?" I asked.

She looked a little disappointed, "Of course."


	30. Chapter 30

This is kind of a short chapter, but I do hope you enjoy it! My classes started back up yesterday, and obviously I made it through! I'm in love with the class though, early childhood development intro and I'm excited! Tonight I have my Humanities class. I have class tomorrow and Thursday. Buys busy busy! But luckily my job allows me to update daily. Anyways, here's chapter thirty! Thank you guys for loving this story and being so encouraging for me to continue, you guys are awesome!

Chapter Thirty

As I drove home, I thought about the opportunity that was before me. A chance to be the head doctor. It would be great on my resume.

But, the thought of leaving Bella for one whole week by herself… well, it scared the hell out of me.

We had never been apart since we moved in together. Maybe that was my fault, maybe I was just too overprotective of her. But, Bella was fragile, she needed me and I needed her.

Looking from the outside in, one would assume that I held too much power in the relationship. That just wasn't true… Bella had more influence than I did when it came to our relationship, and I was just fine with that.

She set the pace of our relationship when we met two years ago. I knew, even back then, she was in some way, fragile. When I asked her about her past, she brushed it off and just told me she didn't like to talk about it. That was fine with me, she didn't want to talk about it and I wasn't going to pressure her.

I needed Bella as well, it wasn't a one-way lean. She made me feel so much better when she was near. She was such a joy to my life, and I never wanted to lose her; the thought of losing her was… I couldn't even think about it.

And when I found her cutting herself, those thoughts of her killing herself and leaving me… they were just too much to bare. Maybe that's why I was so overprotective.

I pulled into the garage, then sat in my car for a few minutes. I didn't know how I was going to talk to Bella about this. I didn't want her to get upset.

I walked upstairs and found her dozing on the bed with her pacey in her mouth. I smiled at the image; she was so sweet, so innocent. I always thought, 'what did I do to deserve such an incredible, beautiful, innocent woman.'

I took my work clothes off and changed into my after work clothes. When my shoes thumped on the floor, Bella stirred.

She rubbed her eyes, then looked at me. A wide smile gracing her beautiful face.

"Daddy," she said happily, the pacey dropping from her mouth.

"Hi baby, how are you feeling?" I asked as she crawled into my lap.

She wrapped her tiny arms around my neck. I put mine around her back, squeezing her tightly.

"I feel healthy!" She beamed.

I laughed loudly, "That's good. Do you think you could stomach some lunch?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Alright, I'll fix something. How about some," I tapped my chin.

"Mac 'n cheese," she said.

"Mac 'n cheese? Baby girl, we're going to have to start on a healthier diet," I patted my stomach, "or I'll have to work out every day to keep my weight."

She giggled, "It's not my fault your metabolism slowed down in your old age." She said cheekily.

I raised an eyebrow, "Old age? I am in my prime." I said, tossing her onto the mattress and tickling her sides.

She squealed and giggled.

"Say I'm not old!" I laughed as I continued to tickle her.

"Okay! You're not an old man!" She squealed loudly.

I released her, pulling her back into my lap.

"Alright, let's go fix lunch. I'll fix you some mac 'n cheese and me a salad." She made a face at the salad.

I carried her on my hip down the stairs and into the kitchen, sitting her on the barstool.

She watched intensely as I made the food.

"How was work?" She asked.

"Work was good," I paused, "I, uh, actually have something to talk to you about." S

"Okay…" she said slowly.

"It's nothing bad, but it's not ideal." I said, putting her bowl in front of her.

She looked up at me with those big doe eyes. Worry clouding them.

"I got an offer today to be the head doctor on the fifth floor." I said, stabbing my lettuce.

She smiled, "That's awesome! I know you've been wanting that! How is that not ideal?" She asked.

"Well, there is a conference I'd have to attend… In New York." He said.

"N-New York?" She said, chewing her food slowly.

"It's for a week." I said.

She nodded, "I-I wouldn't be able to go…" she said.

"I know, that's why I want to talked about it. Your school only lets you have so many absences and you've already missed three days."

"Yeah… I." she stopped, her eyes darting around nervously.

"Bella, if you don't want me to go, I won't go." I told her, grabbed her hand tightly.

She looked up at me, "No, I want you to go. This is something you've wanted, and it's not fair for me to ask you to not go. That's selfish… I just haven't been apart from you for that long." she said.

I nodded, "I know. We haven't been apart, and with everything going on… I don't want to go. I really don't."

She smiled gently, "You need to go. This is something you've wanted and I want you to go. I'll be fine here by myself for a week."

I shifted in my seat, "Well, that's something I wanted to talk about to." I took a deep breath, "I don't want you staying here by yourself. So, I was thinking, that you should stay with Alice and Jasper for a week."

Her eyebrows went up, "What? I can stay here by myself."

I gave her a look, "I'm sure you can, but I'd feel really comfortable if you stayed with them. I just worry that something will happen, and I'll just feel so much better if you're with people we trust." I said.

She nodded, "I understand… It's just… gonna be hard. I mean, how am I supposed to go to sleep without a bedtime story? Or my bottle?"

I chuckled, "Bella, we have cell phones that we can FaceTime on. I can still read to you. And I can show Jasper how to make your special tea in your bottle."

"Yeah, but it's better when you do it yourself." She grumbled.

"It's only for one-week honey." I said.

She sighed heavily, "I know. It's just going to suck."

I laughed, "Yeah, it is. But it's just for one week."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-One

I would be staying with Alice and Jasper for the week while Edward was in New York. It made me sad that he would be gone a whole week. I knew he wasn't too thrilled with it either, but he was trying to keep a brave face.

We were seeing Emily tonight before Edward left Sunday morning. He'd be back next Sunday morning.

As we drove to Emily's office, I sat and thought about what the week was going to be like with him.

"Bella, it's going to be okay. I promise. It's only seven little days." He said.

I looked over and tried to smile, "I know. It's just… Jasper doesn't know what to do." I said.

"Bella, we wrote him a list of everything we do together exactly. He knows what to do." He chuckled.

"But he won't do it like you." I grumbled.

"He's not your daddy, so I guess he won't do it exactly as I do." He said.

I sighed, but didn't continued the conversation. I just didn't want to talk about it anymore. We've talked and talked and talked about it.

Emily smiled when we walked into her office.

"Hi Bella, Hi Edward. How are we doing?" She asked.

"We've kind of had a down week." Edward said.

"Oh, well, let's talk about it. Bella." she motioned for me to talk.

"Edward's going to New York for a week on Sunday and I'm staying with Alice and Jasper." I said.

She nodded, "I see. And how are you feeling about Edward going away for the week?"

I frowned, "Nervous. We haven't been apart since we've lived together. I'm a little scared too." I said.

"That's understandable. It would be a scary thing to be without your daddy for a week. Is there something in particular you're afraid of?" She asked.

"I don't know. It's just… strange. One week is going to feel like forever."

She chuckled, "One week will feel like a long time. Why don't we write a couple of things you can do to make the week not feel so long?"

She had a piece of paper and a pencil. She handed it to me.

"So, what is one thing you think we should write?"

I thought for a minute, "He could call me every night and every morning and at lunch." I said.

"How about we limit the phone call? Edward's going to be in New York for work, so, it'll be hard to predict his schedule." She said.

I sighed, "Okay, maybe one phone call at night."

"How long should the phone call last?" She asked.

"He promised me that he'd read me a story until I fell asleep. But I want to talk too, not just read." I said.

"Then how we talk on the phone for two and a half hours? After your bath?" Edward suggested.

"Okay, that's enough time." I said, writing it down.

"Is there something else you can think of?" She asked.

"Um, can I bring his pillow? So I can cuddle with it at night?" I asked.

"Of course honey." He said.

I tapped my chin, trying to think of more.

"How about tomorrow, you and me spend the entire day together, doing stuff we love to do." Edward said.

"And Sunday we do stuff together too?" I said.

He nodded, "Absolutely sweetie."

"Okay. Maybe the week won't be so long." I said, folding the piece of paper and giving it to Edward.

"Edward, do Jasper and Alice know the special things Bella needs? That you provide for her on a regular basis?" Emily asked.

"Yes, we made them a detailed list of everything." He said.

"The only thing different is I'll have to take showers and not baths." I informed her.

She nodded, "Showers aren't much fun, but, just keep reminded yourself that it's only one week. Then you can take baths and do everything that you normally do with your daddy."

"I know." I said.

"Are there any rules that Jasper and Alice do differently?" She asked.

"They have their own set of rules." Edward said.

"Have you talked to Jasper about them? Because, she will be in another household with its own set of rules. I think it's very important for her to follow them just as she does in your home." Emily said.

"Hmm, I didn't think to ask him. But that's a very good idea." He said.

"B-but what if I break one?" I said, "by accident." I added.

"What do you mean?" Emily asked.

I sighed, "What if I break a rule? And daddy won't be there to put me in corner time or s-spank me." I said.

"Ohh, you're wondering if Jasper will punish you." She said.

I nodded.

"Well, maybe you and daddy should talk to Jasper about this. But, can I ask why you're nervous about that?" She asked.

"Alice told me that when she breaks a really, really important rule, Jasper uses the belt." I said.

Emily nodded, "Sometimes people use belts, and that's okay. But if it's something you are petrified of, then I think it'll be okay to let Jasper know that if you do break rule, that Edward would rather handle it when he gets home."

I nodded, "I don't want Jasper to spank me. That's Edward's job."

"Alright, that's fine. We'll tell Jasper that." Edward told me, kissing the top of my head.

"See, it'll be okay Bella. You'll get through the week, and Edward will be back within the week. You'll probably have so much fun with Alice the week will just fly by." Emily said.

I shifted in my seat, then turned to Edward, "C-can I talk to Emily for a few minutes?"

He nodded, "Sure, I'll be right out there." He said and left the room.

"What's up Bella? What's going on?" Emily asked.

I took a deep breath, "W-what if Edward likes it?" I asked.

"Likes what?" She asked.

I sighed, "Likes not taking care of me for a week… What if he likes being by himself?" I asked.

"Oh okay, I understand," she said, "Bella, it's very understandable for you to be nervous about that. But, I honestly believe, that Edward is going to miss you terribly this week. He really does love you Bella. If he didn't like taking care of you, he wouldn't have done it for so long. You two have been in this kind of relationship for how long?" She asked.

"Since the third week of September." I said.

She nodded, "And it's the first week of December. If he really didn't like taking care of you, he wouldn't have been doing it for so long."

"But, we haven't been apart. How would he know if he doesn't like it?" I asked.

She smiled gently, "Bella, Edward is a man who knows what he likes and dislikes. If he didn't like taking care of you, he wouldn't do it. Plus, he adores you more than anything."

"What if he likes being by himself?" I asked.

"There are a lot of 'what ifs,' but Bella, I don't believe you have to worry. You two just set a date didn't you?"

I nodded.

"There's your reassurance right there. He wouldn't still be around if he didn't love you." She said.

I sighed, "I know. I just get worried…" I said.

Emily nodded, "I think you may have some form of anxiety. Now, I'm not diagnosing you, so please don't take that seriously right now. But, I'd like to have some testing done for it." She said.

"Why do I have to be tested for it?" I asked.

"Well, if you truly do have anxiety that badly, then I want us to work on ways to cope with it. Whether it's through medication or other methods." She said.

I nodded, "Okay, that sounds fine. Do you do the testing?" I asked.

"No, but one of my colleagues specializes in diagnostics. We'll set up an appointment." She said.

"Can we wait? Just for a little bit. I want to talk to Edward about it first." I told her.

"Of course, we can do the testing in a month or so." She said.

I nodded.

"Now, we sort of touched on the subject a while back, but I'm bringing it back up because, I firmly believe that it would be beneficial for you." She said.

"Okay." I said slowly.

"Do you want Edward to come in here before we discuss it further?"

I nodded and retrieved him.

He sat on the couch, I sat in his lap. My body turned away from Emily. I knew what she wanted to discuss but, I wasn't open for hearing it. Edward rubbed my back.

"So, I thought it would be better for you to be in here before we discussed this. I don't want to get Bella too terribly upset." Emily said to Edward.

He nodded.

"So, I think, that it would be incredibly beneficial for Bella to write a letter to her parents. Telling them exactly what she has always wanted to say to them," I tensed up, Edward resumed rubbing my back, "But, we aren't going to send them Bella. I swear to you. Instead, I thought it would be a cool exercise to burn the letter or letters. Sort of a cleansing technique."

Edward nodded, "I think that would be a good idea. Is there any particular time frame you'd like to have her write it?"

"Whenever she feels she's ready. But, I want her to keep it in mind. I want her to gather up the courage herself to write it. I want it to come from her; not from you or me telling her what we believe she should write. It could be anything she wants it to be." Emily said.

"Alright, we'll keep that in mind." Edward said, then kissed the top of my head.


	32. Chapter 32

Oh my goodness my class loads are insane! And this is the first week! So afraid! :'(

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Two

I woke up this morning feeling somewhat bittersweet; Edward was leaving tomorrow morning, but he promised that he had something very special planned for us today.

I just laid in bed beside him, snuggling as closely as I could to him. It was Saturday and Edward loved sleeping in. So I let him…

…For a few minutes, then my hand started creeping up to his chest and nudging him slightly. I could see his eyes moving from behind his lids as he started to wake.

"Wake up," I whispered.

He grumbled a little then started to stretch a little. I shook his arm a little harder.

"Wake up, daddy." I said a little louder.

He opened his eyes, still heavy lidded, "Good morning sweetie." His voice was thick with sleep.

"Morning daddy," I smiled.

"Let's sleep in for just another hour, please?" He asked.

"Nooo, time to wake up!" I whined, "I wanna start the day, I'm awake now!"

He stared at me for a moment, "How about you play a game on the IPad for an hour and let me grab just a little more sleep? Please?" He said.

I groaned dramatically, "Okay, give me the IPad." I said.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Please can I have the IPad." I corrected.

An Hour and a Half Later

Daddy finally woke up. He had fallen asleep shortly after I started playing the IPad. But now he was awake.

"Let's go get ready." He said.

I nodded and turned the tablet off.

"Daddy, can you pick out my clothes? Please?" I asked.

"Of course." He went to the closet and set out a pair of dark, holey jeans, and a pretty mint green sweater.

I walked into the bathroom and started the shower. Edward followed and came into the shower behind me. I giggled as he lifted me up, my legs going around his waist.

After the shower

Once we were finished, taking a longer time in the shower, Edward drove us to our Ihop for breakfast. We both liked their fluffy pancakes.

"So, where are we going today?" I asked as the waitress left to take our orders.

"It's a surprise." He smiled, sipping his black coffee.

I pouted slightly, "Awe, is it something fun?" I asked.

"Of course, I have a good feeling you'll love it." He smiled cheekily.

I giggled, my feet sitting on top of his under the table.

After Breakfast

When we were almost there, he made me keep my eyes covered. It was a special surprise.

"Okay honey, we're here." He said.

I pulled my hands off over my eyes.

We were at the Build-A-Bear, something I've been secretly dying to do for a long time.

I smiled brightly and looked at him, "How did you know I wanted to go to Build-A-Bear?" I asked.

"You talk in your sleep sometimes and you mentioned it. So, I thought we'd make a bear. One for you one for me." He said.

"I talk in my sleep?" I questioned, not knowing I did this.

"Sometimes you do." He said, getting out of the car and opening my door for me.

"Let's go make a bear." He said.

When we walked into the store, there were more than just stuffed bears. They had all kinds of animals to build.

"Wow," I said quietly to myself.

He chuckled, "I'm glad you're excited. Shall we pick our stuffies?" He asked.

I giggled and nodded. We walked to the wall with animals. I scanned through the stuffed animals looking for the perfect one. Then I paused, something suddenly dawning on me.

"W-what is Elsie gets upset?" I asked, "She's always been my favorite one." I said.

He looked down at me, "Well, sweetie, I think Elsie will be so happy to have a friend. When you're in school, she'll have someone to snuggle with." He said.

"True," I said, then resumed my search.

I came across a little lamb. It was white and had extremely soft cotton wool. I picked her up.

"Look daddy, I want this one." I smiled.

"She's a cutie," he smiled back, "Will you help me find one?" He asked.

I nodded and searched for his. I found one that was perfect. I picked it up.

"Look, it reminds me of you." I said.

"A lion?" He chuckled.

"Yeah, a lion, you have the same hair." I laughed.

He gave me a silly look, "Oh okay, I have a lion's mane?" He asked.

I giggled, my hand finding its way up to his messy, bronze hair. He chuckled, grabbed the hand in his hair and kissed it gently.

"Are you ready to make our stuffies?" He asked.

I nodded enthusiastically.

After we made our stuffed animals, my mood started to shift. Knowing that he would be leaving soon was scary.

As I sat in the car, I snuggled our stuffies.

"So, what should we name them?" He asked.

I thought for a moment, "Maybe yours should be the daddy lion and mine the baby lamb."

He chuckled, "Oh okay, so mine will be daddy lion and yours baby lamb?" He said.

"Yes, and the daddy lion loves his baby lamb. And he takes care of her. And gives her kisses when she's sad." I said.

He patted my thigh, "Kind of like us." He said.

"Yeah, kind of like us." I said.

After Build-A-Bear we went back home to eat lunch. He made me a heart shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some strawberries. It was a good lunch, but I started to slowly become antsy. He would be leaving tonight and it worried me.

"Why don't we go take a nap?" He asked as he washed our plates.

"Okay." I said quietly.

He sighed and turned to me, his hands spread out on the counter.

"Bella, it's only one week. I promise you, it's going to be okay. I'll be back Sunday morning and we'll have the best day ever," he walked around the counter and wrapped his arms around me, "And I'm going to bring you a surprise." He said.

I nodded, "Can you read to me?" I asked.

"Yeah I can honey." He said.

We went upstairs and snuggled under the blanket. He read one of my favorite books.

After an hour of napping, he woke us up. We needed to get packed for the week. I sat on the bed and pouted. Watching him pack out bags.

"This isn't fair. Why can't you just do the conferences online?" I asked. Playing with the baby lamb.

He sighed, "If I could, I would. But I have to go. It's just for the week. And next year when I have to go for the week, you'll come with me." He said.

I snorted, "I don't want to go to a stupid conference. Why do you have to go anyway? You're a doctor, you're supposed to be making people feel better. Not meetings." I said.

He chuckled, "Yeah, I don't know why I have to go either," he put his suit case away and picked up mine.

"Alright sweetie, do you want to pick out your outfits for the week?" He asked.

"Why can't I just stay here by myself?" I asked.

He gave me a look, "Bella, we talked about this. It's better for you to stay with them. They have the spare guestroom. I have a peace of mind, and you have peace of mind. And I would worry myself to death with you here by yourself."

I sighed dramatically, "Just pack me jeans and T'shirts." I rolled over on my belly. My face in the pillow.

"Bella, come on now. Don't start acting up." He warned.

I kicked one of my legs onto the mattress.

"Bella, I'm serious. I have no problems spanking you before I have to leave tonight. But I don't want to end our great day that way." He said.

I groaned and rolled out of bed. Dragging my feet to closet and pulling out some shirts and pants. I threw them on the bed.

"Corner. Now." He said.

"What!? Why!? I picked out some clothes." I said, defending myself.

"Corner young lady. Now." He said.

I stomped my way to the corner, arms crossed.

"When you've changed your attitude, you can come out." He said.

I rolled my eyes and leaned my head against the cool wall. I don't know why I was starting to act out. I just couldn't help myself.

I felt the prickle of tears in the corner of my eyes. I was worried about him leaving. I was worried about myself being alone. I didn't like to go to sleep without cuddles. I didn't like to be without him.

I finally turned around, "It's just not fair!" I said.

He smiled gently and opened his arms. I walked to him, snuggling closely to his chest.

"I know, it's not fair. And trust me, if I didn't have to go I wouldn't. But, it's only for one week. One measly little week." He said.

One of his big hands was on the back of my head, "I know. It's just one week. But it feels like it's going to be forever." I said.

He chuckled, "Yeah, it will."


	33. Chapter 33

Dear guest reviewer, thank you for answering my question. And I honestly don't mind you reviewing so negatively, but this is my issue: you're analyzing the story as if it's going to featured in a serious article about mental instabilities or relationships. This story is a guilty pleasure story, this is something I write in my free time to distract me from my homework. I completely fabricated the storyline, yes, there are real people who do participate in this kind of relationship, it may not be to the magnitude of what I've written out here but some relationships might. And Emily probably wouldn't make a good therapist in real life, luckily, the Emily I've written about isn't real. Bella and Edward aren't real. I highly doubt the professionals, participants of this kind of relationship and people who suffer from childhood trauma are not researching my story to use as a guideline for help. This is just a guilty pleasure story on a fanfiction site, so over analyzing the story and finding everything negative about it, isn't the point of the story. This will be the last thing I call you out on, so, just enjoy the story and try not to over analyze it.

To everyone else, thank you guys so much for your support. I've received a few P.M.'s from people who've had some sort of trauma in their life that they are connecting with the story and the characters, thank you guys specifically for opening up to me to me and for giving me a very intimate detail about your lives. Really, that, is the whole reason I continue with the story, oh and also I do personally love this story I'm working on. It's my favorite one I've written. So, please enjoy this chapter, it's nice and long!

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Three

We went to dinner and then got dessert. Our bags were in the car, because he was going to leave right after he dropped me off at Jasper's.

I was quiet on the ride over there. I kept thinking of the week, playing it over and over in my head.

Edward reached across and grabbed my hand, "It's going to be okay Bella, I promise."

I nodded, "I know."

"Alright, we're here." He said.

My throat tightened. I blinked hard and steadied my breathing. It'll be okay.

Edward got the bags out of the car, I walked up to the front door. Alice flung it open, a big smile on her face.

"Hi Bella!" She said, practically bouncing up and down, "I'm so excited for this week! It's going to be like one giant sleepover!"

"Let them come in the house Alice." Jasper called.

She moved aside and let us in.

"Let me take your stuff to the room." Edward said, walking passed me.

I followed him, not wanting to spend our last few minutes apart.

He put my bags down on the bed. I wrapped my arms around him.

"I think you and Alice are going to have so much fun." He said.

I nodded. His arms were now wrapped around me.

"You will, now I need to go talk to Jasper for a minute." He said.

Edward's POV

She followed me back out into the living room where Alice and Jasper were. Jasper stood and walked with me into the kitchen.

"Okay, so she has an appointment with Emily Friday at 6:00. Uh, only one soda a day, -"

Jasper put his hands up, "Bedtime is 10:30, she needs her tea an hour before she lays down, she has to write every day for Emily… I know Edward, everything will be fine." He said.

"I know it will be. I'm just,-"

"You're worried. I know. I understand, if the shoe was on the other foot I'd be worrying too." He said.

"Oh, and I won't get in until very late tonight, sometime around 3:00. If you wouldn't mind, could you make sure she doesn't stay awake to wait for me to text her that I got there safely. She has school tomorrow and she needs her sleep." I said.

"Of course, I'll take the phone before she goes to sleep and I'll give it back to her in the morning." He said.

I nodded, "Thank you. Let me go say goodbye to her. If you have any problems whatsoever, call me. I'll be on the first plane out of there." I said.

"We'll be fine." He said.

I walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room where the girls were. They were sitting on the couch; Alice was excitedly talking about the fun week they were going to have, Bella was listening, but I could tell she wasn't really in the conversation.

"Bella," I said.

She jumped off the couch and followed me to the foyer. I wrapped my arms around her tightly. We held each other for a minute.

"I love you, daddy," she said.

"I love you too baby," I said, kissing the top of her head, "Are you going to be a good girl?"

She nodded, "I'll be a good girl."

I chuckled and lifted her chin up, "I'll be back before you know it."

She nodded again, "I know."

"I'll text you when I land, but it'll be very late. Don't stay awake for the text either. And I'll call you at lunchtime and then we can talk on the phone for a couple of hours before bed." I told her.

She nodded, "Okay, that sounds good."

She leaned up on her toes and kissed my chin. I chuckled and engulfed her in a deeper kiss.

"I'll see you on Sunday, have a great week." I said before opening the door and leaving.

Bella's POV

I watched him get in the car, when he started to pull out I waved. He waved back, giving me an encouraging smile.

I watched the car leave the street then I went back inside. Alice and Jasper were sitting on the couch, I sat on the other couch,

"Bella, do you want to watch Valentine's Day?" Alice asked, "And have wine?" she waggled her eyebrows.

"Showers first, then you two can watch a movie. But no wine, it's Sunday, you two are busy tomorrow." He said.

"Awe, no fair." Alice snorted.

Alice got up from the couch and walked to her bedroom. I went into the guest bathroom.

I sat in the steaming shower for a while. It was boring, I'd much rather take a bubble bath. In my own home. With my daddy.

There was a gentle knock on the door.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice asked.

"Uh, yeah, I'm just getting out now." I said, turning the water off.

Alice was waiting for me in the hallway, dressed in her footie PJ's. I had my princess dress on, my warm cotton one.

We retreated back to the living room, Jasper had on lounge pants and a loose T'shirt. He was putting the movie into the DVD player. Alice hopped on the loveseat beside me and pulled the blanket down from the back of the chair.

We cuddled on the couch as we watched the movie. Jasper, brought us a bowl of popcorn and mainly played on his phone. He wasn't too interested in our girly movie. But, he hung around with us.

It was about 8:00 when he brought my bottle full of tea. I stared at it for a moment; it was weird not laying in bed and drinking it, cuddling up to Edward. I took it and started drinking it slowly.

I wasn't going to say anything to Jasper, but I wanted to stay up until Edward texted me in the morning. I really wanted to know when he got in. If I wanted to stay up, I couldn't drink so much tea.

When the movie was over, Jasper stood and took it out, "Alright, ladies, it's time for bed."

I sighed; I was really dreading this part. Having to go to sleep without cuddling Edward.

Alice put her hand on my arm, "Jazz was going to read a story in the big chair and we can listen." She said.

I nodded, "That sounds good." I said.

In Alice's room, there was a big plush chair beside a bookshelf.

"What do we want to read tonight? Bella, would you like to pick?" Jasper asked.

"Ahh," Alice said as she sat on the rug in front of it, "I really wanted to read Cinderella."

"Alice, Bella is our guest for the week. It's her pick," Jasper said as he settled into the chair.

"Cinderella is fine." I said, sitting beside Alice.

"Yes!" Alice said happily.

"Bella are you sure? We don't have to read it if you don't want to." Jasper said.

"I like Cinderella." I said.

He nodded, not really believing me. He grabbed the book anyway and started reading it. I sat and played with the carpet a little, not really interested in the story.

"Okay, time for bed." Jasper said.

Alice and I stood and started to the separate bedrooms.

"Hey, Bella, can you get me your cell?" Jasper said.

"What? Why?" I asked.

"I'll give it back in the morning, but I just want it for the night so you don't stay up waiting for Edward's text." He said.

I sighed internally, Edward must have told Jasper. I retrieved the cell and handed it to Jasper.

He smiled, "Thanks, I'll leave it on the counter before I leave. If you need me you know where I am," he chuckled, "Night."

"Goodnight." I said before going into my room for the week.

* * *

Someone asked how old Bella and Edward were, Edward is 27 and Bella is 20. Emmett is 30 and Rosalie is 29. Alice is 22 and Jasper is 26. I know doctors are typically 29, but I didn't want to make him that old so I fudged the physician age a little.


	34. Chapter 34

I am so sick. I woke up last night throwing up and all day I've been achy. Ugh, I had so much to do this weekend but of course I get sick. But, I wanted to give you all a little update. Please enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Four

Thursday

Only a few more days until Edward would finally be home. I was so happy. Of course, the days seemed to drag on now that it was almost Saturday. I was excited.

It was the end of the day, which meant Edward and I got to talk on the phone. I looked forward to it every day.

After dinner, I quickly showered and ran to my cell phone. Edward answered on the first ring.

"Hello beautiful!" He said in a sing-song voice.

"Hi daddy! I miss you!" I said, happy to hear his voice.

"I miss you too baby, how was your day?" He asked.

"It was good. I woke up, went to class, got a perfect score on my child's psychology test, had lunch with Alice, and then came back to the house, ate roast beef for dinner, and now I'm on the phone with you." I said, swinging my feet happily.

He laughed, "I knew you were going to pass, I am so proud of you," he gushed, "I'm glad you had such a good day honey."

"I did. How was your day?" I asked.

"Ugh, just boring meetings. The usual. But I did get to go out and get you a little something." He said.

"Oooo, what did you get me?" I asked.

"Nuh uh, I'm not telling. It's a surprise." He said, "Have you showered and everything?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm all clean. And Jasper's making my tea now." I said.

"Okay, good. So, have you set a date for picking out the dress?" He asked.

"Yeah, me and Alice sat down and picked the second Saturday of January. It'll be after Christmas, and still have enough time for alterations. In two weeks though, I'm going to go to the store so me, Alice, and Rose can pick out their dresses. And pick out a flower's girl dress for Emily." I said.

"And our wedding list got a little shorter." He laughed.

"So, have you picked out a honeymoon spot?" I asked.

"I have a couple ideas. But, I've definitely narrowed it down." He said.

"I'm so excited to see what you pick." I said.

"Oh, I think you'll love what I'm thinking of." He teased.

Jasper came in with my bottle and handed it to my quietly, then left. He understood that when I was on the phone with Edward, I didn't want to be disrupted.

"I got my bottle now," I informed him, as I laid back against the pillows.

"Alright, let's see what we can read," he named off a few books from the IPad.

"Ohh, let's do Beauty and the Beast tonight. Belle is my favorite." I told him.

Edward's POV

After I finished reading Bella a story and told her goodnight, I began my search for a hotel room for our honeymoon.

I had picked our honeymoon spot, but I was making it one of Bella's Christmas presents. I was taking her to Disney World, a place that would be absolutely perfect for Bella. She loved everything Disney, and she could be her true self in the parks.

We were going to stay for two weeks and three days; that would give us plenty of time to explore each park at our own pace. I was also going to get us the fast track bands so we could skip ahead the lines.

Now, I just needed to find a hotel close to the park.

As I was searching, there was a knock on my door.

"Come in," I said, it was probably room service, I had ordered a late dinner.

Instead it was Tanya, holding papers in her hands.

"Good evening Mr. Cullen," she said jokingly.

"Hey Tanya, what's up?" I asked politely, I really wanted to find a hotel room tonight.

"I have some paperwork to go over with you. They are for tomorrow's meeting." She said, sitting down at the desk.

"Sure, that sounds good."

"So, what are you up too?" She asked as she put her glasses on and scanned over the papers.

"Nothing much, just looking for hotel rooms for Bella and I."

"For your honeymoon?" She asked.

"Yeah." I said, looking down at the paper she handed me.

"Where did you decide to take her?" She asked.

"I'm gointg to take her to Disney world. Bella loves everything Disney, and I thought it would be fun." I said.

"Nice, My husband and I took Daniel a couple years ago. We stayed at the Walt Disney resort. It's very pricey, but very worth it. Very close to the parks, transportation to the parks, and a spa in the resort. Plus a pool and a gym. It was perfect." She said.

"Hmm, I'll look into that. I was looking for a place close enough to the parks so we didn't have to rent a car. That reminds me, whenever you get a chance can I take seventeen days off for my honeymoon?" I asked; I was sure I'd get the time off, I'd saved up so many vacation days.

"Yeah I don't see why not. Since you're here doing these meetings with me, I guess I can be lenient." She laughed.

I laughed with her, "So, will you and your family be able to come to the wedding?" I asked.

"We've already cleared our schedule. I'm excited to go, the venue you two picked out is absolutely perfect," she said, "have you gotten everything planned?"

"We've still got some stuff to figure out. I think we've done pretty well so far, we've narrowed down food, flowers, and silverware. In a couple weeks she's going to pick out her dress."

"Where is she going to get the dress?"

"Um, I think that bridal boutique on Lincoln Street? I don't remember what it's called."

"Oh Bridal Beauty, that's where I got my dress. It's a very nice shop. It's just hard to pick the perfect dress, there's so many to choose from. I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown after the twentieth dress I tried on." She chuckled.

I frowned internally. I didn't think about the stress picking out a dress would cause Bella. She gets stressed so easily. I'd have to think of a way to ease that stress for her.


	35. Chapter 35

I am all better! I guess I had one of those 24 hour bugs. It sucked! But I'm feeling better now! Here is a chapter. I writing chapter forty-six now in my word doc, and I am beyond excited about it. I just love it! It's one of those chapters I'm excited for. Unfortunately, you guys are only on thirty-five :/ sorry. I may update today, I am not sure though.

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Five

Friday; just one more day until Edward gets home. I was excited. But Friday also meant a session with Emily, which was fine but Edward wasn't here to take me.

"Bella, don't forget you have a meeting with Emily after school." Jasper reminded me as I gathered my things to leave for school.

"I know! I'll see you guys at 7:00!" I said as I left.

Usually, my appointment with Emily was at 7:00, after dinner, but since Edward was out of town, he rescheduled it for earlier, that way I could go right after my last class.

I arrived at my first class, the class I had with Angela. She was already sitting in our usual seats.

"Hey Bella," she said as I sat.

"Hey Ang, how are you?" I asked.

"I'm great. I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to go out with me and some of the other girls from our child psychology class tonight." She said.

"Oh, I have a thing tonight," I said with a little frown.

"Oh please come on! We haven't hung out in forever, it's going to be fun." She said.

"Where are you guys going?" I asked.

"We were going to this bar, Tappers, tonight. Jessica's dad is the owner and she can get us in." She said.

I nodded, "I'll have to think about it."

She smiled, "Please, please come. It'll be so much fun!"

Before I could answer the professor started class, so I gave him my full attention.

I couldn't really focus. I was thinking about going out to drink with my school friends. I wasn't a huge drinker, but the girls from my class were really fun.

But maybe I could go? I mean, Edward wasn't here and I could just skip the meeting with Emily tonight. Edward wouldn't find out, I could call Emily and tell her I wasn't feeling well, then she wouldn't call Edward. And I could just fib a little to Edward about going and seeing Emily.

I could fib easier over the phone. Plus, Jasper and Alice aren't expecting me until around seven. That'd give me plenty of time to have a little fun then get home.

I leaned over to Angela, "Hey, I'm in." I whispered.

She smiled widely, "It's going to be so much fun."

I nodded. I'd just have to remember to call Emily and cancel.

After School

I followed Angela to the little bar. It was right in town. I was excited to hang out with them outside of school.

Just as Angela said, we got right in, even though we were underage. No one asked for our I.D.'s.

We sat down.

"So Bella are you excited for the wedding?" Jessica asked.

"Oh yeah, I've set a date to pick out my dress." I said.

A round of awes sounded around the table.

"Do you know what kind of dress you want?" Angela asked.

"I was planning on just trying different ones. Seeing which ones I like." I said.

We ordered our drinks, I ordered something very fruity. I preferred fruity, kind of like juice. We talked and jabbered about different things, mainly, my wedding. They were all so excited to come to my wedding.

Edward's POV

As my final meeting ended, my phone started buzzing. I looked down to see Emily's office number on the screen.

"Excuse me, I need to take this. It was nice meeting you." I said to the man as I shook his hand.

I exited the room to answer the phone.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hi, Edward, sorry to bother you, but I was calling to let you know that Bella didn't show up for her appointment. I haven't heard anything from her." Emily said.

My heart stopped beating for a moment, "Okay, uh, let me call her. I'll call you back."

I dialed Bella's number. It went straight to voicemail. I dialed again and again. Panicking now. The fifth time it went to voicemail, I called Jasper.

"Hello?" Jasper said.

"Is Bella there?" I asked.

"No. Bella is at her appointment." Jasper said in a confused voice.

"No, she's not. Emily just called me wondering where Bella is. You haven't heard from her?" I asked.

"I haven't. I'm sure she's okay." He added quickly.

"Can you have Alice call her?" I asked.

"Alice, call Bella!" Jasper called, "She's probably still at school studying. I'm sure she's fine."

"Mm." I said.

"Okay, Alice has her on the phone." Jasper said.

"You tell her to call me right now." I said.

He hung up the phone. A few minutes later she called.

"Isabella," I said as I answered, "Where are you?"

"I'm… still at school." She hesitated.

"At school?" I listened to the background, there was loud music and talking, "That does not sound like school."

She paused, "I'm studying with some friends. We're uh, at a coffee shop."

"Isabella Marie, you better tell me the truth right now. You are standing in hot water young lady." I said sternly.

"I'm just hanging out with some friends. It's not a big deal." She said in a clipped voice.

"You better watch that tone. Now you tell me right now where you are." I said.

She sighed very heavily, "I'm at a… bar…" she said.

"You are at a bar… I'm sorry, but how in the hell did you get into a bar?" I demanded.

"Jessica's dad is the owner. It's really not that big of deal, daddy."

"It's not a big deal, well, first off, you are underage. You're twenty. You're not supposed to be in a bar period. Secondly, you missed your appointment with Emily, she called me worried about you. And thirdly, you didn't answer your phone. I'm over here panicking thinking you're dead and your drinking. How much have you drank?" I asked.

"Just two drinks, I'm sorry." Her voice quivered a little.

"You go to your car and sit there and wait for Jasper to come get you. Don't you dare leave that car for anything. Do you understand me?" I said.

"Yes sir." She said in a small voice.

"Get your butt to that car. We will discuss this later." I hung the phone up and called Jasper.

Bella's POV

He was very angry. I knew he was more worried than anything else, I could hear the panic in his voice. I also knew that I was in big, big trouble.

I was trying my hardest not to cry as I sat in the car and waited for Jasper to come.

He finally did, it seemed like it took forever.

I hopped into his car, my head held down.

"Edward said that he'd call you after dinner." Jasper said.

"Okay." I said.

"I think Edward may be a bit angry." Jasper chuckled.

"Yeah." I said.

"It'll be alright. I think he was just worried." He said.

"I know; I'm probably going to get a spanking." I said.

"Yeah probably. If it were Alice, I'd spank her." He said.

I nodded my head.

We got back to the house. Dinner was already on the table. It was a quiet meal. I guess I wasn't really in the mood to talk.

I showered and went straight into the guestroom. My cell beside me. I stared at it as I waited for it to ring. My stomach twisted and churned nervously.

When it did ring, the loud jingle filled the quiet room menacingly. I debated on whether or not to let it go to voicemail.


	36. Chapter 36

Sorry I didn't update yesterday! I had a ton of school work _ growl, but, tomorrow is my favorite class! It's my 'Learning to Teach Students with Special Needs," it's amazing!

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Chapter Thirty-Six

I sighed and answered the phone.

"Hi, Daddy, I miss you." I said sweetly, hoping to butter him up.

"Hello Isabella Marie, I miss you too," he said, "Now, you tell me why you decided to skipped therapy and go to a bar when you know you are underage."

I cleared my throat nervously, "Well, I-I didn't think you'd find out about therapy. And I really wanted to go to the bar with my friends. They were all going. And I thought it would be okay because I drink wine with Alice all the time."

He sighed, "Bella, drinking wine at a home is completely different than going to a bar when you're underage and having a bartender make strong drinks. And then drive home afterwards. Bella do you understand how big of a deal this is? I'm so upset with you; I was worried sick. When you didn't answer your phone I thought… I was scared Bella. I'm hundreds of miles away and if something happened to you…" He was struggling to speak, something I haven't heard since I had to have emergency surgery.

I felt horrible, tears starting now.

"I-I'm sorry." I said in a small voice.

He sighed again, "Bella, you made some very, very poor choices tonight. I'm so disappointed in you. Honey, you know that you have to go to therapy every week, just because I'm not there doesn't mean you can skip it. That wasn't fair to Emily who moved her other appointments to schedule you. She waited an hour and a half for you. I think you owe Emily a big apology." He said.

"Yeah, I guess so." I said.

"And, I think, when I get home, you need a spanking." He said.

"I figured. Jasper said that if it was Alice who did that, he'd spank her." I said in a small voice.

"Mmm hmm, so do you think it's fair that you receive a spanking?" He asked.

I took a deep breath, "It's more than fair. I know I deserve it. I shouldn't have been so bad."

"You made bad choices. I understand you want to go out with your friends. You can go out with them anytime you want. But not to a bar when you're underage. And you definitely can't skip therapy, that's not okay. And not answering your phone? Why didn't you answer your phone Bella?" He asked.

"I didn't hear it ringing. My friend told me she heard it ringing. That was when Alice was calling." I told him.

"Okay. Have you showered?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said.

"Alright. I want you in bed, right now." He said.

"I'm in bed. C-can we read one story?" I asked.

"No Bella. You're going to bed early with no story. And I will be home tomorrow morning. I love you Bella." He said.

"I love you too daddy." I said before we hung up.

I laid in bed for a while that night, just staring at the ceiling. I just couldn't find the will to go to sleep. I felt horribly guilty; so guilty that my stomach churned.

Usually, when I did something bad, I'd get an immediate spanking, or there would be, maybe an hour until the spanking. Never a whole night. Sure, when I did something wrong I felt guilty, but the spanking made that guilt go away.

But, now I had to lay with it. And I couldn't shake the guilt.

What I did tonight was very wrong. I knew better, I just thought I could get away with it. Edward wasn't here, so I believed I could get away with it. But maybe, secretly, I wanted to get caught. I didn't call Emily to cancel, and I had reminded myself to do it all day.

I groaned and rolled over; I just wished that my daddy was here so we could get the spanking over with and cuddle. He always made me feel better. Even with spankings.

The Next Morning

I woke up feeling very excited and nervous. Edward was coming back today. I sat in the bed for a few moments, figuring out my feelings. I was excited to see him but also nervous. I missed him terribly and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him. And I also wanted him to spank me, so I could get over the guilt.

I threw the blankets off of me and went into the kitchen, Alice and Jasper would be up already, they were early risers like I was. When I walked into the kitchen, there was no two, but three people standing in the kitchen. And the third person had very familiar reddish bronze hair.

I squealed and jumped into Edward's arms.

"You're home!" I squeaked loudly, giving him a flurry of kisses on his face.

He laughed, "I am home. I missed you honey." He said, squeezing me tightly.

"I missed you too." I said, for some reason tears leaking out of my eyes.

He laughed again, "Why are you crying?" He asked, kissing my cheeks and forehead.

"Because I missed you and I'm so happy and you're here!" I said.

Alice and Jasper were laughing, leaning against the counter watching our exchange. After a few minutes, Edward set me down on my feet.

"How long have you been here?" I asked, wiping the stray tears from my cheeks.

"Just got here. I was about to wake you up," he reached into his bag, "And I was giving Alice and Jasper their thank-you gift. For putting up with my brat for the week." He joked.

I squawked and playfully smacked his arm. He leaned down and kissed my forehead, "Just kidding my love."

He handed Jasper an expensive bottle of wine, "Found that, thought it might be good." He also handed them a gift card to their favorite restaurant, which Alice snatched.

"Ohh, Jazz, date night!" she said in a sing-song voice.

I laughed, "You guys need a date night, let me get out of your hair." I said.

"Oh you've been an angel, no trouble at all," Jasper said, clapping Edward on the shoulder.

Edward smiled, "Good, I'm glad she was no trouble. Well, I'm sorry to leave so early, but we are going to breakfast and then spending the day together." He put an arm around me.

I smiled, but then became nervous again. He still needed to spank me, the guilt was still eating me. I just wanted to get it over with.

"Let's go get your stuff," he said.

We both walked into the guestroom. He closed the door gently behind him. Okay, this was it. I was going to get this spanking. Get it over with, the guilt would be all gone.

"I've missed you sooooo much," He said, wrapping his arms around me.

I wrapped my arms around him, "I missed you too. Every minute you were gone." I said.

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head, "We are going to have an incredible day. I got you the absolutely best gift ever! It's at the house though, we'll get it later. After breakfast."

"Even though I kind of already ruined the day?" I asked bashfully.

"Ruined the day? What are you talking about?" he asked.

I played with the end of my shirt, "Because of last night. I ruined the day because you have to spank me."

He frowned a bit, "Honey, you didn't ruin the day. We'll discuss the spanking later, okay? I'm not worried about it right now."

My frowned deepened, "B-but… I mean…" I struggled to find the right words.

"What's wrong honey?" He asked.

I sighed, "I feel really, really guilty. I've done something extremely bad. I need a spanking."

He made a face, "Bella, -" I cut him off by putting my fingers up to his lips.

"No, daddy, I won't be able to enjoy anything today if you forget to spank me." I said.

"Bella, I'm not going to spank you right here. I'm sorry that you're feeling guilty, but later today when we get home I'll spank you, okay?" He said with a smile.

I smiled a little, "I never thought I'd actually ask for a spanking."

He laughed and kissed my forehead, "I'm sorry you feel guilty, and I promise I'll spank you."

I laughed with him, "Okay."

"You've never asked for a spanking before, I'm curious as to why you're asking for this one instead of hoping I forget." He said.

I shrugged, "Every other spanking has been immediately followed after I did something bad. I've never really had time to feel guilty. But, last night, and right now, I feel so awful. I feel like I'm sick. I just want to get the spanking over with so I can stop feeling guilty."

"Ahh, okay, I see. The spankings relieve you of your guilt. Well don't you worry, you're getting your spanking. But not right now, definitely later." He said with a laugh.


	37. Chapter 37

I decided to update again to piss off the angry reviewers! This ones for you! Oh and to one specific reviewer, you said that I was obsessed with spanking and someone should spank me, sweetie my boyfriend spanks me and I love it, it's my fetish but it's not being used as that in this story. And to anyone else who has problems with this story it's a story, there you go, just a story about fictional characters; here's chapter thirty-seven! Enjoy!

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Edward took me to breakfast at Ihop. Their Christmas Rudolph pancake were back. He knew how much I loved themed pancakes. I sat really close to him in the both, he kept his arm around me.

I ate happily, trying not to think about the upcoming spanking. But I was excited to see the gift he got me.

"I'm excited for you to see your gift. Well, I should say gifts." He said.

"How many did you get me?" I asked.

"Just a couple of things. But you'll love them." He said.

"I was wonder," I nibbled my lip, "Could you spank me first? Before the gifts? Please?"

"Wow, a spanking before gifts. You must be desperate to get it over with." He chuckled.

"I just don't want to feel guilty anymore." I said.

He was quiet for a few minutes, "Bella, look, I'm not mad anymore. Yes, you're still getting the spanking because you made a very bad choice last night. I wish you wouldn't feel so guilty."

I shrugged, "I wish I didn't either."

He laughed, "Well, maybe it's a good thing you feel so guilty. You'll be less likely to make another bad choice like that again." He smiled at me.

I nodded enthusiastically, "I won't ever do anything like that."

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. I smiled and squeezed back.

When we got home, he lead me upstairs to the big chair and grabbed the wooden spoon that resided there on the night table. I sighed, I figured the stupid wooden spoon would be used in this spanking.

He sat back and smiled; I stepped forward so he could pull off my pants and underwear. I blushed, of course, as I always did when my pants fell around my ankles. He helped me over his knee, my hands gripped his pant leg.

"Alright Bella, tell me why you're here." He said.

"I'm here, because I was rude to Emily by skipping the appointment, I didn't answer my phone when you called, and I went to a bar and drank even though I'm underage." I said, I knew exactly what I had done wrong.

"Good girl, usually it takes a warning smack to get you to admit what the bad choice was." he said, patting my butt gently.

I nodded, "I had all night to think about it." I said.

He chuckled, "Okay sweetie, let's get this over with." He said.

I took a shaky breath and braced myself for the first smack.

SMACK! The first was always the worst, I gasped as the first flurry of smacks ignited my butt.

I tried not to cry, but after the first few smacks, the tears started. I was sobbing as he delivered lightening quick and stinging smacks.

My tears were falling onto his jeans, my legs quivering. I always knew when the last smack was; it was the hardest. I gasped, the wooden spoon definitely leaving an outline.

He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. I sobbed into his chest, he rocked me gently, swaying back and forth.

"Shh, shh, it's okay. Shh, my baby girl." He whispered gently.

"I-I'm s-sorry I m-made a b-bad c-c-choice!" I sobbed into his shirt.

"It's okay honey, all is forgiven sweetheart." He said, rubbing my back with his hand.

I nodded and snuggled into his neck, "I love you." I said.

"I love you more." He kissed my nose gently.

I sighed happily, the guilt now gone. For a few minutes, he held me in his arms, occasionally kissing my forehead, cheeks, lips, and nose.

"Are you ready to open your presents?" He asked.

I smiled and nodded, wiping away a few stray tears. He sat me down on my feet, pulling my pants up. Then he stood and started to take a couple of steps away.

"Carry me," I said, reaching my hands up.

He chuckled and lifted me onto his hip. He led me downstairs and sat me on the couch.

"You wait here why I get the bags." He said, I nodded and waited.

A few minutes later he returned, holding our bags. He opened his and pulled out a few small packages.

"Okay, here's the first one. I'm saving the very special one for last." He said.

I nodded and unwrapped the biggest brightly colored box. It was a teal and green crochet mermaid tail, I squealed and hugged it tightly in my arms.

"I've been wanting one of these so bad!" I said, smiling brightly.

He laughed, "I saw that and I remembered you mentioning a mermaid tail blanket. I'm glad you like it," He said, holding the smaller package, "This is the really special one. I really hope you like it, and I hope you don't get mad that I got them."

My brows crinkled, "Now I'm very curious." I said, setting my mermaid blanket down and opening the other package.

He was shifting around in his seat; I could tell he was very nervous about this gift. I opened a large velvet box. It had two wedding bands in it. The smaller one, mine, was white gold with a pattern of sparkling white diamonds and light purple Alexandrite. The bigger one, his, was identical but the pattern was my birthstone, shining just as brightly as the diamond. Both were equally beautiful.

"Look on the inside," he said gently.

Inside written in beautiful script was _'You will forever be my always. 06-20-2014.'_ I smiled, the date of our first date and our set wedding date. The script was something cheesy he said to me when he told me he loved me.

I wiped away the tears that welled up, "They're beautiful." I said.

He smiled widely, "I was looking through wedding bands and I just thought these were so perfect. I ordered them the day after thanksgiving. I had them sent to my parents' house so you wouldn't see them." He said.

I smiled widely, "I love them. They're perfect." I leaned my head onto his shoulder.

I took my ring out and placed it on my finger, over my engagement ring. It looked beautiful, just like it was meant to go there.

He kissed my lips gently, "I'm so happy you like them. I know picking out wedding bands is a couple thing, but I just wanted to surprise you." He said.

I nodded, "It's okay. I mean, I chose a bunch of stuff without you, so it's okay for you to have this."

He laughed, "Alright, this is an actual souvenir from "New York," he said, pulling out a bag that said 'New York,' on it.

I laughed as I pulled out a black T'shirt that said, in glittery lettering, "I Love New York."

"I was waiting for typical tourist souvenir shirt. I love it." I said, hugging him.

He smiled, "Good, because you have to wear it every single day." He joked.

I nodded, "Even when it starts to smell stinky?" I said.

"Most definitely," He said, kissing my cheek, "Now, I am in desperate need of you, I've been deprived for a whole week." He growled, carrying me bridal style up to the bedroom.

A Couple Hours Later

When we finished in our bedroom, hours later, we went downstairs to cook a frozen pizza. We had planned to go out to dinner, but neither of us were even close to presentable.

"Alright," Edward said after he put the pizza in the oven, "You need to figure out how you're going to apologize to Emily."

I frowned a little, "I know. Should I write her an apology letter?" I asked.

"I think you should apologize to her in person." He said.

I nodded, "Yeah, that would be best. Should I call her and set up a time to meet her? Or wait until this coming up Friday?" I asked.

He leaned against the counter, his brows crinkled, "Um, maybe we should wait until Friday. Emily is a very busy woman and tomorrow is her only day off," his brows uncrinkled, "You know what, how about you call Emily and as her if she'd like to go to lunch." He said.

"I don't know, that might be… a little weird." I said.

"Weird? How?" He asked.

I shifted in my seat, "I mean… I'm one of her patients, wouldn't that be weird for her? Seeing her outside of the office? I'd feel weird."

"Well, call her and ask." He handed me his cell phone.

I sighed and searched through his contacts, finding Emily's personal cell phone easily enough.

It rang a couple of times before she answered, "Hello," she said.

"Hi, Emily, it's Bella." I said, biting my lip.

"Why hello Bella, how can I help you?" She asked; her voice didn't sound bitter.

I cleared my throat, "Um, I was wondering if you were free for lunch tomorrow?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm free. Is everything okay? She asked.

"Yes, I just felt bad for skipping our appointment and I wanted to make it up to you." I said.

"Well that sounds nice Bella. I'd love to meet for lunch." She said.

We figured out the details and had set up a lunch date, which Edward wasn't invited too. I may have teased him a little.

"We're going to talk about you," I said, sticking my tongue out.

"Oh yeah? You going to talk about how much you love me and how incredible I am?" He said, taking a bite of pizza.

"Nope! We're gonna talk about your big feet and your big nose." I said jokingly.

He pretended to look offended, "My nose is not that big. And I am extremely proud of my big feet. You know what they say about a man with enormous feet." His eyebrows wiggled.

"I didn't say enormous." I said.

"Oh really? An hour ago you were –," I cut him off by throwing a pepperoni at him.

He gasped, "Oh, now you're in for it." the chair fell backwards as he leapt up and pulled me off the chair.

I giggled and squealed as his lips attached to my neck. He ran upstairs, taking three steps at a time.


	38. Chapter 38

Good Afternoon everyone! So today I dropped my phone and shattered it. So upsetting. I've had an IPhone for years now and I've always taken great care of it, but unfortunately today I broke it. I've been looking into getting it repaired. It's just going to cost me an arm an a leg. Ugh, anyways, please enjoy!

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Chapter Thirty-Eight

Edward and I slept in the next morning until it was time for me to get ready for lunch with Emily. Edward laid in bed as I got ready, he was awake but just being lazy.

"Where are you two going for lunch again?" He asked.

"Angelo's Bistro. That Italian place." I said as I applied some mascara.

"Oh nice, would you mind grabbing me a Caesar salad?" He asked.

"Ew, salad." I joked.

"Hey, Caesar salad is good. When you get older and your metabolism slows down, you'll regret teasing me about my diet." He said.

"Oh whatever old man." I teased.

He tossed a pillow at me, it hit my legs. I laughed loudly and jumped on him. He made a noise as I landed on his chest.

I leaned up, his placed his big hands on my hips.

"Alright sweetie, you got to get going," he reached over and handed me his card, "Don't forget to apologize and offer to pay for Emily's lunch." He said.

"I know, I will." I said as I gathered my purse.

"Good, I love you, have a fun time." He said.

I leaned down and kissed him on the lips.

The little Italian place was nestled between a sweet smelling bakery and a small clothing store. I took a deep breath before walking into the restaurant.

Emily was sitting in a booth sipping a cup of coffee, she smiled when she saw me.

"Hey Bella," she said, "How are you?" She asked.

"I'm good, how are you?" I asked.

"I'm good as well." she said.

I took a deep breath, "Um, I wanted to apologize for skipping our appointment. It was really rude and I shouldn't have done that."

She nodded, "I forgive you Bella. I was concerned when you didn't show up, I thought something had happened."

I smiled a little, "Yeah, sorry about that. That was a really crappy thing for me to do. I won't ever do it again."

She chuckled, "It's okay Bella, I'm not mad. Let's enjoy lunch," she said picking up her menu, "So, did Edward enjoy his trip?"

"Yeah, I think so. He's really wore out though. I think he's jetlagged." I said.

She nodded, "Oh I know the feeling, I hate flying. I use to travel while I was getting my doctorates, I hated it."

"Why did you travel for your doctorates?" I asked.

"While I was shadowing under a very close professor who travelled to mental facilities evaluating the most extreme patients." She said.

I nodded, "Wow, like Hannibal Lector?"

She thought for a minute then nodded, "Some of them were. It was very interesting work, but I like to stay in one place." She said.

"Who was the weirdest person you ever evaluated?" I asked.

"I can't tell you their names; confidentiality laws. But I can definitely say the weirdest person was a man who was this super genius and could figure out any problem and knew everything."

"Why was he weird?" I asked.

"Well, he murdered a slew of people. He never ate anybody but when he was asked why he did it, he said, 'I was bored. I wanted to see if I could get away with it," she took a bite of her salad, "Honestly, I think the only reason he was caught was because he got lazy."

I shuddered a bit, "Wow, he sounds creepy."

She nodded, "Oh he was. I still have nightmares about him."

I chuckled, "I know what that's like." I said.

Her smile faded a bit, "How are you doing with that? I mean, you don't talk about it too much." She said.

I chewed my food slowly, "It's fine." I answered.

She put a hand up, "We don't have to discuss this right now. But, after Christmas, I really want to dig deeper into the issue." She took a bite of her salad.

My fork played with my Alfredo, "Do we have talk about any of it?"

She nodded, "Well, I think that's the whole reason you and Edward sought me out. I'd like to start talking about it. I'd like to really start working on it."

I was biting my lip, "I just want to leave it in the past." I said.

"Bella, I know you want to leave it in the past, and that's fine, but the problem is that sometimes, the past resurfaces. And when it shows its ugly head, you have a problem with dealing with it. And I want us to work on it together." She said.

I sighed, "I just… I don't… I hate…" I put my hands down into my face.

"Let's not talk about this now. But how was your week?" She asked.

I shrugged, "It was good. I mean, I got in serious trouble for skipping our session and going to a bar."

She nodded, "I imagine you did. I'm glad you made it through the week though without any major hiccups."

I nodded, "I missed Edward like super crazy. But, he's home now and our lives can go back to normal." I said.

She laughed, "I'm glad you did so well during the week, I knew you would."

I twirled some Alfredo around my fork, "I was wondering something," I slurped a noodle, "How did you get into this kind phycology? You said you specialize in our kind of relationship." I whispered the last bit.

"Well, to my partner, I'm occasionally mommy. I never started specializing in this type of relationship until I realized that my partner needed a mommy. She comes from the same background as you, but in this scenario she needed a stern but loving mother. So I stepped up, did intensive research, and started helping people like us. I thought with me actually participating in this kind of relationship I could actually help couples." She said.

"I didn't even know you were in a relationship like this." I said.

She nodded, "Kim and I started this about five years ago. We've been together for about seven years."

"How did you two start this?" I asked.

"Hmm, one day it just started. To be honest I'm not a hundred percent sure how it started. It's one of those things that kind of just happens." She shrugged.

I nodded, "Yeah, I guess it does. I can't really recall how Edward and I started this." I said.

She smiled, "Mmm hmm."

"I guess it's a good thing Edward found you. You actually know what it's like to be in this kind of relationship," I said, "Do you like being Kim's mommy?" I asked.

She thought about it for a moment, "Yes I do. I know it helps her and it makes me feel special because she chose to include me in this special part of her. She chooses to make me her protector and her comfort. I feel honored to be that for her."

"Edward says he feels the same. When we first began this kind of relationship, I was worried he would…" I cleared my throat and blinked hard, "I was just worried about it. But I think he actually likes he. He likes feeling needed. That's why he's a doctor." I said.

She smiled widely, "He's a fine doctor. And he cares a lot about you, I know this."

I smiled, "I know. I care a lot about him. Did you get your save the date?" I asked.

She nodded, "Yes I did. The teal and silver are so pretty. Are they your color scheme?"


	39. Chapter 39

**Hey everyone! Here's a little update that I hope you'll enjoy. And someone said that this was Bella's last year of school so she should be 21, this isn't Bella's last year of school and typically students finish a four-year degree when they're 22. What I meant when I wrote she'll be done with school before their wedding was it'll be summer vacation for her until the next year. Oh, I saw the movie Split earlier today and I must say it was most definitely an A+ movie, James Macavoy deserves an Oscar for his outstanding performance, I recommend seeing it. Off topic, I know, but anyways, enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Christmas was a few days from now and I was beyond excited. On Christmas Eve we go over to Edward's parents' house dinner. Then Christmas day we rotate dinner, this year it was at Emmett's and Rosalie's house; that took a load off of my shoulders.

Today was my last day of class before Christmas break started. It was more of a party than actual class, the teachers decided to throw a little get together with their students. I would only be at the school for an hour.

I put on a nice shirt and a nice pair of jeans with my dark brown riding boots. Edward was at work putting in some overtime so he didn't have to work Christmas day. He did have to work Christmas Eve, but only in the morning. That was okay.

As I sprayed some perfume onto my neck my phone buzzed. I looked down at the text.

 _Please don't eat to many sweets. You'll get a tummy ache, plus we're meeting with Emily tonight for a quick session and to give her the Christmas present. -Edward_

I smiled and picked it up to text back.

 _But it's a party so I have to eat a lot of sweets so I don't seem rude! -Bella_

 _Ha-ha, you know firsthand that when you eat so many sweets you get a tummy ache. -Edward_

 _Okay, okay. I promise I won't. I'll see you later. -Bella_

 _See you later sweetie, have fun. -Edward_

I gather my purse items and headed to my car. My school was about a fifteen-minute drive. Edward and I lived in the fancy townhouses in the downtown area. I loved it, gated community, nice people, lean neighborhood; a huge step up from where I came from.

There were a bunch of people already there. Angela walked up to me with a small wrapped gift.

"Merry Christmas Bella." she smiled.

I smiled back and handed her, her gift, "Merry Christmas Ang."

We opened our gifts then laughed. We each got each other the same gift; kitty cat fuzzy socks.

"Oh my god, that is so funny." She laughed, holding up the socks.

I nodded, laughing with her, "I remember when we were looking at these."

"Well, I love it." She hugged me tightly.

"Me too," I hugged her back.

We walked over to the snack table and grabbed a plate and cup. I put a couple of carrots and broccoli on the plate, along with a ton of sweets. Moderation. I was doing good.

Angela and I sat at our usual spots, talking and laughing. But, of course that was cut short when Mike, the T.A. walked over with his usual careless grin.

"Hey Angela, Bella." he greeted.

"Hey Mike." We both said.

"So, you two excited for Christmas?" He asked, leaning onto my desk.

"You know it," I said, biting some of my cookie.

He nodded, "That's good. So, um, how was that boyfriend of yours?" Mike asked; he had always had a bit of a crush on me.

"He's great. He's working right now." I said.

He stood awkwardly for a few minutes, "Hey, can I talk to you for a few minutes?" He asked.

"Um, yeah I guess," Angela got up and left quickly, it was awkward.

"So what's up?" I asked, wiping my hands on my napkin.

"How are you and your boyfriend, really?" he asked.

"We are great. We've set a date to be married in June." I said.

He nodded, "Hmm, well, you know, I've been kind of curious about your relationship. I saw your boyfriend yesterday at the hospital, I didn't know he was like in his thirties."

I gave him a look, "He's twenty-seven. He is not that old."

He gave me his own look, "We can basically round it up to thirty. Why are you with a guy so much older than you? Is there a particular reason you're with him?"

I leaned back, "What are you trying to get at?"

"I'm just trying to figure it out. You're really young, being with an older man is kind of strange."

"It's not that strange. A lot of girls date older men." I said.

"Yeah, girls with daddy issues." He said, making me shift uncomfortably in my seat, he sighed, "Look, what I'm trying to ask is, why are you with him?"

"I love him more than anything in the world." I said.

"Really? That's the only reason?" He asked.

"Does there need to be any other reason?" I said, acid now lacing my voice.

"I mean, I know you probably wouldn't admit it, but, are you just dating him for his money?" He asked.

"Excuse me?" I said, crossing my arms.

"Oh come on Bella, you don't have a job, he has a high paying job, you drive a car he bought, you live in his house… I'm guessing he pays for your school. It's kind of obvious." He said.

I licked my top lip, "Please walk away from me. Now." I hissed.

He sighed, "Look, I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just saying that there are ways to pay for school and other things. It's not that hard I pay for my own school."

I got up and left in a huff. I was angry now and I needed to leave.

Edward was already home when I got there. I stormed up the stairs, slamming every door on the way. He walked out of the study with a confused look on his face.

"Um, everything okay?" He asked, following me into the bedroom.

"Yep. Everything perfect." I hissed.

"Oh really? You're just slamming the doors and throwing your stuff around for no reason." He said, eyebrows raised and a stern look on his face.

I sighed heavily, "No. I'm very, very angry and I just need a couple of minutes." I said.

"Okay, that's fine. I'll be in the study, you take some time and calm down. When you're ready to talk come find me." He walked out of the room and gave me my time to calm down.

I sat on the bed and bit the inside of my cheeks. I kept breathing in and out like Emily taught me. When I collected myself I stood and walked into the study.

Edward looked up from the book, he was sitting in the big easy chair.

"Are you calm now?" He asked.

"Yes," I took a deep breath, "Okay, I was at the party and the stupid T.A. Mike started asking me about our relationship. He kept implying that the only reason I was with you was because you pay for everything for me…" my hands gripped my hair, "I guess it's kind of true."

"Stop," he said sternly, "Don't you say that because it's not true and you know that." He patted his lap.

I walked over and sat in his lap, pressing my face into his chest.

"I'm so mad. I can't believe he had the nerve to even say that to me. He's so… urgh, I hate his stupid face." I said.

He nodded and chuckled, "I understand. Is he still there you think? I'd like to go punch his stupid face a few times."

I looked up, "He's a stupid dumb jerk. I can't believe he'd say something like that. What was he even trying to get at? Why is our relationship his business?"

He sighed, "Well, he's the one that asked you out a couple of weeks ago right? He was probably trying to see how serious we are."

"Ugh, I'm so mad. I can't believe that," I said, "I hate it."

"You hate what honey?" He asked, his hand rubbing my back.

"I just hate not being able to contribute anything." I said.

"Sweetie you're in school full time. And you've got one more year before graduating. School is a thousand times more important than anything else." He said.

I groaned, "But you do pay my way. It doesn't bother you?" I asked.

"No." he said simply.

"But what if I am just using you for your money." I said, eyebrows raised.

He laughed, "Hmm, okay. But I don't think sugar babies marry their sugar daddies."

I smiled a little, "True."

"Annnnd, I don't pay for your schooling, you got scholarships that pay for you. I mean really I don't pay for that much." He said.

I sighed dramatically, "But you pay for my car, the house, the groceries, my medical bills… the wedding, the honeymoon. I don't contribute anything." I said, seriously considering the fact that I contribute nothing.

His head cocked to the side, "Bella, we've talked about this before, you know I have absolutely no hold ups about paying for anything. You know this. If anything I'm pushy about paying for things, I like to pay for things. I don't think it's a big deal."

I nodded, "I know it looks suspicious to everyone else-," he interrupted me.

"And I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. You out of everyone should know this." He said.

I nodded, "I do know this." I kissed his nose.

He laughed, "Do you feel better now?" He asked.

"I do." I said.

"Alright, well, let's get ready to go see Emily." He said, carrying me the bedroom to get ready.

An Hour Later

We arrived at Emily's office, Edward was hold Emily's present as we walked in. Her office was decorated for Christmas, making it very lively and colorful.

There was also a plate of sugar cookies out. I reached for one.

"Bella, no." Edward said as he signed us in.

"Please? Just one little cookie? I didn't get to eat any at school." I poked my lower lip out.

He stared at me for a few moments, "Fine, just one." He said.

I smiled widely and grabbed a cookie. Emily walked out of her office.

"Are you guys ready?" She asked.

We followed her back into the office. She sat in her usual chair, munching on a sugar cookie.

"My secretary made these, they're addicting." She said.

I nodded in agreement, finishing off my last bit of cookie.

"Anyways, Merry Christmas," she said.

"Merry Christmas to you too, here's a little something from Bella and I." he handed her the present.

"Aw, thank you guys," she opened it and smiled widely, "Thank you guys, I really appreciate it." she stood and hugged us both, then set it aside.

"Alright, I figured we could keep this session light. Bella, how is everything?" She asked.

"It's fine. I had an encounter with a T.A. at my school's holiday party. He was a jerk." I said.

She nodded, "Really, what happened?" She asked.

"Well, he was basically accusing me of mooching off of Edward. It pissed me off and I wanted to punch him. Besides that I was having a great week." I said.

"You had a run in with a male T.A.?" she tapped her pen against her leg, "Was it like the encounter with James a few months ago?" She asked.

"Not really, I don't know." I said.

"I find that interesting. I remember that encounter; you let James take the playdoh, what did you do during your encounter with the T.A.?" She asked.

"Well, I told him to mind his own business then I left." I said.

She nodded, "Why didn't you do the same with James?"

I was quiet for a minute, "I-I don't really know."

"Hmm, I guess with the T.A. situation you were sticking up for your relationship. With James it was just you, so you didn't stick up for yourself. I think we need to work on that more." She said.

I shrugged, "I mean, it kind of started with Mike insulting Edward, and that made me really mad."

"So you don't want anyone insulting Edward?"

"No," I said.

She nodded, "But what if he was just insulting you?"

I shrugged again, "I don't know, honestly. With James it was different, but with Mike… Ugh I don't know it was just different. I don't mind sticking up for Edward."

"But you have to stick up for you too Bella, or else people will walk all over you," she leaned closer, "It's hard to stick up for yourself when you've been knocked down a lot, I understand that. So, we have to dig deep so that you can find the reason to stick up for yourself. I'm happy that you walked away when Mike was being a jerk. Let's keep working on that."

I nodded and smiled, "That sounds good, I don't mind working on that." I said.

Her smile faltered a little, "I'm glad, but we have more important things to work on. We talked about it a little at lunch, but I want to start working on it."

"Please, I don't want to." I said, shivering a little.

Edward rubbed my back, "Honey, it's okay."

"Bella, it's important that we discuss this. It's kind of the main reason you two sought me out. Why are you worried? You know you won't get in trouble." She said in an assured voice.

"I-I, I don't… I can't talk about it." I said, my hands intertwining tightly and eyes squeezing shut.

Edward's hand rubbed my back, "Bella, it's okay."

"No! It's not! I don't want to talk about this stupid stuff!" I yelled.

"Okay, calm down," Edward said, pulling me into his lap.

"No! I don't want to talk about it! It's stupid!" I screamed. I started to bite my lip very hard.

"Isabella Marie that is enough," Edward said sternly.

"Bella, just take a deep breath honey. You're fine." Emily said.

I took deep breaths, but continued to shake. I grit my teeth, "I don't want to talk about any of that. I'm not hurting myself anymore, why do we have to discuss it?"

"Because you should be able to discuss it without going into full panic mode." Emily said.

"Am I supposed to talk about it with everyone?" I snapped.

"No, Bella, but whenever the subject comes up I want you to be able to handle it without spiraling into a broken mess," Emily said, "You are in school to be a child psychologist, 90% of the children you'll be treating, will have sexual abuse history. Tell me, would you be okay if a five-year-old comes to you because her father raped her, would you be able to handle it?"

I was quiet for a few minutes, biting the inside of my cheek hard.

"No. I wouldn't." I said finally.

Emily nodded, "Let's work through it Bella. We can overcome it, I promise you." She said, smiling now.

I sighed heavily, "Okay. Fine, we should work through it."


	40. Chapter 40

**Good Afternoon everyone! Here's chapter forty! I hope you all enjoy! Thank you everyone for all your support and a special shoutout to the people who've private messaged me their story of abuse, you're so strong and keep your head up, you are very strong and inspiring and you are what keep the story going. School is kicking my butt so that's the reason I'm slowing with the updates.**

* * *

Chapter Forty

Tomorrow was Christmas and I couldn't be more excited! Edward was working, which was fine, he'd be off at 5:00. I was currently baking cookies for tonight's dinner. This year it was at Emmett's and Rosalie's house.

I sat and decorated the Christmas tree cookies. Christmas music was playing in the background. I was in a very happy mood, despite the meeting with Emily the night before.

It was time to start discussing my past, just the thought of that frightened me to no end. I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to bury it and never speak of it again. I didn't understand why she wanted to start this now. I've been seeing Emily for months now and she's never pressured me like this.

Edward was adamant about this. He wanted me to get this all out in the open and overcome it. I paused in my cookie decorating.

Maybe, he was tired of being a 'daddy,' to a dysfunctional mess. I swallowed hard; this was something that would have to come up eventually, I mean, we couldn't play these roles forever.

I sighed and set down the cookie decorating items. I got up and headed to my 'bedroom.'

The key was placed under a vase that sat on the end table in the hallway. I unlocked the door and went into my room.

I really liked how our relationship was. We took care of each other in ways that no one ever could. And if I could be very honest, I liked the role I played as a 'little.' Being an adult was fun, but when I was a little, all my cares and worries were gone. I felt something that I didn't feel when I was younger.

I sat in front of my large dollhouse. No, it wasn't a Barbie dream house, it was an actual wooden home with working lights and sounds. It took Edward and I weeks to put it together. The roof was black and the siding was creamy white, the window panes were a light blue. I loved it, it was perfect.

I played with my specially made dolls for a while, just trying to destress. I knew Edward was home, the alarm system beeped, alerting me that the front door was open. I stayed in my playroom.

The door to my playroom opened slowly.

"Hey," Edward said, "It's been awhile since you've played with the dollhouse." He sat down in the reading chair.

I just nodded and continued to play. I didn't look up at him.

"Is everything okay honey?" He asked.

I shrugged, setting my dolls down and sighing.

"I've just been thinking about why Emily and you are adamant about me discussing my past." I said, staring into my dollhouse.

"And what are you thinking?" He asked.

"That you're ready for this to be over," I sighed, "I think the reason you want me to face my demons is because you're tired of this kind of relationship. I think you're tired of having to always take the place of my caregiver." I said.

"Mmm," he said, leaning back in the chair and thinking.

I looked up at him, "So, I'm right?" I said.

"No, not really," he said, then got onto his knees beside me, "Bella, Emily and I want you to be mentally healthy. The stuff with your father is bottled up and when it comes out, it's ugly. We want you to be mentally healthy, where you can hear about this kind of stuff and not panic. This isn't about me not wanting to continue to take care of you Bella, this is about getting you healthy."

"But would you prefer me to be an adult all the time?" I asked.

He sighed, "I would prefer you to be mentally healthy, but Bella, if you want to stay a little forever, I am right here with you doing whatever you need. I love taking care of you, truly I do. This, all of this, is your decision. If you decide to be an adult all the time, I fully support you, if you want to be a little, then I support you as well."

I nodded, "I'm not ready to talk about this stuff. I'm scared." I said in a small voice.

He smiled gently, "I know. I'm a little scared too. But it's time to start talking about this stuff Bella. I don't want to keep pushing it off and never getting to the root of the problem. I don't want you to keep pushing these emotions down."

"I know," I sighed heavily, "I mean I think I've done good. I haven't hurt myself in a while." I said.

His smile widened, "You've done extremely well. I am so proud of how far you've come." He kissed my forehead.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him for a few moments, "I'm so scared." I whispered, feeling tears leak from my eyes.

He nodded, "I know you are. And being scared is okay, but we'll pull through. We always do." He said.

I smiled at him, "We should be getting ready. The family will be wondering where we are." I said.

He nodded, "Alright, let's shower up."

At Christmas Eve Dinner

After we showered and dressed we headed to Emmett's and Rosalie's house. Of course I had to rush to finish the cookies, they were a bit sloppy.

Rosalie was starting to show a little, her usual flat stomach had just the tiniest bump. She seemed to be glowing though. I hugged her when we walked in.

"Hey," she said happily, "How are you?"

"I'm great, how are you? You're glowing." I said.

She smiled and rubbed the tiny bulge, "I'm great. A bit of morning sickness, but that's to be expected."

I laughed, "Ew, that doesn't sound fun. Do you know the sex yet?" I asked.

"Not yet," She chuckled, "It'll be a while before we know that."

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" I asked.

"Well, I'm supposed to say I hope it's just healthy," she leaned close and whispered, "But I hope it's another girl. Girls are so much fun."

"Nah aw, it has to be another boy. I have to build up my football team." Emmett said loudly.

She laughed, "Of course you heard me."

"I hear everything babe, I'm a cop, that's my job." He said with his usual cheesy grin.

She rolled her eyes, "Yes, yes I know." Emmett's hand gently rubbed her bulge.

Just then Alice walked over, holding a glass of wine.

"Speaking of babies," Rosalie said, "Alice, when are you and Jasper going to pop one out?"

Alice made a face, "No babies for me."

"You don't want any kids?" Rose asked.

Alice shook her head, "No. I've never been one for kids. Mothering is not my thing."

"Does Jasper want any?" I asked.

She shrugged, "Eh, I think he's fine with whatever. Honestly we've never really talked about it."

"Do you want any Bella?" Alice asked.

"I've never really thought about it. I don't think I'd make a good mom, honestly." I said.

"I didn't think I'd make a good mom either, and honestly, someone will tell you you're doing something wrong. Personally, I believe that if you love your kids dearly and try to do your best, you're a good mom." She said.

I nodded, "I never really had much of a role model," I said quietly to myself.

Before they could say anything, Esme poked her head out from the kitchen door and announced dinner was ready.

As we sat at the dinner table, I felt a warmness that I had never felt when I was a child. This was a real family. The people who had raised me, were nothing to me anymore; these people right here were my family. They had welcomed me with open arms and loved me, quirks and all.

I smiled widely and looked at Edward now. My soon-to-be husband, a man who had given me his full heart and stolen mine. I loved him more than anything in the world. He had always been patient with me, even with my incredible stubbornness.

I grabbed his hand under the table and squeezed. He looked over and smiled widely, then leaned down.

"I love you," he said gently.

"I love you too." I said.


	41. Chapter 41

**Hello everyone! So I will forewarn you that this is a light chapter. But I promise, the next chapter, towards the end, the heavy starts. I am also working on another story and I'm thinking about posting the first chapter today. Now, if you liked my other story, 'Primal,' then you'll like this one. It's weird, of course, which is a signature of my stories. I think I do pretty good with weird. Anyways, please enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

Chapter Forty-One

I was eager that entire night, it was hard to sleep. Edward, of course, was snoozing beside me. My internal clock woke up me up at 7:00 a.m. I practically bounced onto Edward.

"Wake up, it's Christmas." I said happily.

His eyes stayed closed, "Bella, it's too early. Go back to sleep." His voice was thick with sleep.

"Nooo," I dragged out, "It's Christmas we've got to open presents now!" I said.

His eyes finally opened, "Please, just one more hour. It's seven in the morning."

I growled and shook his chest, "No! Wake up now! Breakfast first then gifts. I wanna finish breakfast quickly so I can open presents."

He chuckled and rolled over onto his stomach, "Ten more minutes," he groaned into the pillows.

I groaned, "No! Wake up now!" I slapped his butt.

He sighed heavily, but sat up finally.

"You're a monster." He said, rubbing his eyes, "An early rising monster."

I nodded, "No I'm not! I'm just excited, Santa Clause came." I said jokingly.

He looked at me for a few minutes, trying to completely wake up, "Alright. Let's go eat breakfast."

"Let's have cereal." I said.

I jumped onto his back, clinging tightly to his shoulders.

He chuckled, "Something quick. Of course."

He sat me on the couch, "We can watch a Christmas movie and eat."

I nodded eagerly, and flipped to a movie. Of course the Christmas Story was on, so we settled for that. We ate and watched. I was trying to cram as much cereal in my mouth as I could so we could open gifts.

He collected the bowls once we were finished. I was bouncing excitedly.

"Okay, are you ready to open gifts?" He asked.

I nodded and ran to the tree, sitting patiently.

"Alright, baby, let's see," he reached and grabbed a big box for me.

Edward did an excellent job between 'adult,' me and 'little,' me. He bought me new dolls, coloring books, stuffies, PJ's, and all sorts of things for my little self. For the adult me, he bought a new backpack, which I desperately needed, new jewelry, a thick coat, new shoes, and just spoiled me as much as he could.

I remember my very first Christmas with him, this was after I had informed him that I had never had a 'real' Christmas. So, he gave me one. We went to a lot and picked out a real tree, made cookies, went shopping together, watched classic Christmas movies and just did everything he could to give me the best Christmas ever. He also spoiled me then, which wasn't necessary but greatly appreciated.

We snuggled up on the floor, staring at the Christmas tree and drinking hot chocolate.

"Are you happy with everything?" He asked, kissing my forehead.

"I'm more than happy. It was perfect. Did you like everything?" I asked.

He nodded, "I did. Another perfect Christmas." He said.

I chuckled, "That's because of you." I said.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you go way out of your way to make it perfect. I always think you can never top the Christmas before this, but somehow you do." I said.

He chuckled, "Well, thank you. But I do have one more very special gift." He said.

"Oh really?" I said, straightening up as he reached into the tree and grabbed a hidden envelope.

"Now, I believe that this is the most special, amazing gift ever. A million times better than the car last year." He said proudly.

"Oh really? I don't think anything could beat the car." I said, tearing the envelope open gently.

Inside the envelope were two tickets. I examined them closely; they were two tickets to Disney world.

I think I screamed, I don't really know, the next few seconds were kind of a blur.

"Oh my god! We're going to Disney World!?" I said, happy tears in my eyes.

"Yep. For our honeymoon." He said with a wide smile.

I wiped away the stray tears, "Oh my god, I can't believe this! I've always wanted to go to Disney World! This is the best most perfect gift ever!" I hugged him tightly.

He laughed, "I was hoping you'd say that. But, we're staying in a resort that's about five minutes away and we have transport to each park that runs constantly. The resort also has a few pools and a spa. Plus, some very nice dining as well."

"I cannot wait. I am so excited. You should not have showed me this now. I won't be able to control myself!" I said.

He laughed and grabbed the tickets, "I'll keep them under a magnet on the fridge, so we don't lose them."

"I can't wait! This is the best Christmas ever!" I squealed, "Will you bring the new Calendar?"

"Sure," he called from the kitchen.

He returned with the new calendar we bought, our schedule already on it. Mostly because of him; he was big on planning and schedules.

I uncapped the red pen and started numbering the days.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Marking down the days until we leave for Disney." I said.

He chuckled and sat on the decorative corner chair, watching me mark each day.

"Alright, all done." I said, handing him the calendar.

He smiled, "Nice, now we can X off each day as we get closer."

I nodded, "It's the only thing that'll keep me going." I said.

An Hour Later

After we cleaned up all the paper, we started getting ready. We were heading to Edward's parent's house for Christmas day. We were doing gift exchange and dinner there.

I changed into my Christmas leggings and a plain colored shirt that matched. Edward had a tacky Christmas sweater on; the boys were competing in an Ugly sweater contest. They were grown men physically, but children at heart.

When he walked out of the bathroom wear that puke green sweater, it took everything in me not to double over in laughter.

"It's perfect right?" he said when I started laughing.

"Yep, you might win. That thing is ugly." I said.

"Wait, this is the best part," he pressed a button and it started lighting up, "This makes it perfect."

"Put a coat over that thing, I don't want anyone we don't know to see it." I said.

He laughed, "What? You embarrassed of me?" He asked.

"No, not at all." I laughed.

"Are you ready?" He asked, sitting on the bed to put his shoes on.

"Yep, I'm ready," I said as I sprayed some perfume on.

He inhaled, "Mmm, that smells good." He leaned down and started rubbing his face against the crook of my neck.

I giggled as it tickled, "Stop, we've got to get going." I said, swatting at him.

He growled playfully and backed off, "Fine, but when we get home…" he said teasingly.

I nodded then stood, "Alrighty mister, let's get going before you lose control." I said.

Carlisle's and Esme's house was beautiful. It was nicely decorated for Christmas, but besides the twinkling lights, their house was just beautiful. Esme took very good care of it; it was her pride. It always made me smile when we pulled into the driveway.

Edward carried our presents in and I held the door for him. Everyone was in the living room. When we walked into the room, we were greeted by big hugs and warm smiles.

"Merry Christmas!" Everyone said.

The boys were each wearing an ugly sweater. Edward, clicked the little button and turned on the lights. I blushed and put my face into my hands as he posed.

"I think I win. I embarrassed my fiancé the most." He said with a cheeky grin.

"This wasn't an embarrassment contest; it was an ugly sweater contest." Emmett said.

"Yeah, nothing Emmett does embarrasses me anymore." Rosalie said, her head shaking.

Emmett nodded in agreement, "We need a fair vote." He said.

"Are you serious? What exactly do you get if you win?" I asked.

"Bragging rights, obviously." He said.

I sat on the couch beside Emalie, who was playing with playing with a new IPad she had received from Santa. Elliot was sitting beside her, watching the game intensely.

"Alright, everyone vote," the three of them posed.

"I vote Edward," Esme said.

"I say Emmett." Carlisle said.

"I'm going with Edward's his lights up." Alice said, Jasper gave her a betrayed look.

"I vote Jasper," I piped up, Edward looked shocked, I shrugged, "I can't be biased babe." I said.

"Emmett, I have to be biased or I'll hear about it all night." Rose said.

"Okay, Emalie, my precious daughter that I love dearly who do you vote," Emmett asked.

She looked up from her game, giving each of them a scrutinized look

"Uncle Eddie," She said.

Emmett gasped, pretending to be hurt.

"My own daughter." He said, pretending to be hurt.

"Uncle Eddie's lights up daddy, it's the best." She said.

He sighed and looked to Elliot, "Yo, El-man, you can give us a tie, who's sweater is best?"

Elliot, being only three-years-old, wasn't a hundred percent sure what was going on. He looked at the three men, then pointed to Edward's, probably because his was the only one that blinked.

Emmett, looked dumbfounded, Edward pumped his fist in the air in victory. Emmett thumped down on the couch beside his kids.

"I have been betrayed by my own kids, I can't believe this." he said.

Edward sat beside me, a large grin on his face. He placed his arm around me.

"You are just so pleased with yourself, huh?" I said.

"Oh yeah," he chuckled, I laughed with him.

"Alright, let's open gifts." Esme said.

"Bella, what awesome gift did my brother get you this year?" Emmett asked.

I smiled widely, "Well, it's our honeymoon too," I said, building up the anticipation, "He's taking me to Disney World." I said.

Everyone awed, Emalie gawked, "What? Disney World! I wanna go!" She said.

"You didn't vote for me, you ain't going to Disney World," Rosalie slapped Emmett on the arm he gave her an innocent look, "What? They betrayed me in the worst way."

Rose gave him a look, "You're a sore loser, you're lucky I voted for you." She said.

"That's an incredible gift Bella, are you excited?" Esme asked.

"Beyond excited. I've already marked the calendar. Now I'm just counting down the days until we go." I said.

Edward kissed my temple, "It's going to be so much fun. I found the perfect resort."

We talked about the honeymoon and the wedding a little bit. Esme and the girls were excited for the dress fitting, as was I.

And another Christmas was absolutely perfect. Edward always made it perfect for me. I may not have had a good childhood, but I had a great life now.


	42. Chapter 42

**Hello everyone! I hope everyone had a great weekend. I did, I cut my hair; I have bangs now! Not sure how in feel. But, anyways, the ending to this chapter is when it all starts to become intense. So it's going to be fluffy in the beginning but the ending is going to kick start the drama. TO SEE BELLA'S DRESS GO TO DAVID'S BRIDAL AND TYPE IN VW351135!**

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Chapter Forty-Two

I woke up the next morning excited. It was the Saturday I was picking out a dress. Esme, booked an appointment with a fancy wedding dress boutique. Edward was already at work; one weekend a month it was required for the doctors to come in. This was his weekend.

Our appointment was for ten in the morning, but it took about an hour to get there. We were meeting at Rosalie's house and taking her large vehicle. She had a luxury Sudan for the kids, which worked out perfectly for all of us.

I was the first one at her house, but it was still early.

"Morning Bella," She said when I walked in.

"Good morning!" I said in a cheerful tone.

She laughed, "I see you're excited to pick out your dress." She said.

I nodded enthusiastically, "I am beyond excited, I've been looking at dress types and I think I know what I want."

"I remember picking out my dress, that was the best part of planning." She said.

"What kind of dress did you have?" I asked.

"Well, I was super skinny back then, so I picked an A-line dress. It was super tight through here and was absolutely perfect." She said.

I smiled, "I was looking at those, but I was thinking of a ball gown type dress. Not an over the top one, but a simple ball gown."

"That would look pretty on you." She said.

Just then Alice and Esme both walked in.

"Hey girls," Alice said with a cheery voice.

"Hey," I hugged them each, "Are we ready to go?" I asked.

"She's excited," Rose said.

"Of course she is, she's picking out her wedding dress!" Esme said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

We all piled into Rose's Sudan and headed to the wedding boutique. It was a cute little store that had a very classy air around it.

"Are you ready Bella?" Alice asked.

"Totally, I'm so excited." I said.

We were greeted by very friendly faces; the place wasn't too busy, which was fine with me.

"Hi, we have an appointment under Esme Cullen," she said.

"Yes, hi how are you, and who is Bella?" She asked.

"That's me," I said, raising my hand shyly.

"Hello bride-to-be! We have hundreds of bridal gowns for you to look over. Let's get your measurements in." She said, "Just follow me to the back."

She led me to a large changing room in the back. The girls followed and each sat on the seats provided.

"Alright Bella, what kind of dress are you looking for?" She asked as she wrapped a tape measure around me.

"Um, well, I kind of want a ball gown style dress. But nothing over the top. Sleeveless too, I'm getting married in June and it's going to be hot." I chuckled.

"Okay, I'll pull some samples." She said.

She stepped out of the room while I stood there in my underwear and waited. I tried my best not to look in the mirror. I hated seeing myself naked, my eyes were automatically drawn to the horrific scarring on my thighs. The scars reminded me of why I had done them. I shuddered.

No, no Bella, this is a special day and nothing is going to ruin it.

"Alright, I've pulled six for you to try out." She helped into a soft, white corset.

The first dress was a blinding white with the bottom have layered in taffeta. I didn't like it, but I stepped out of the dressing room for an opinion.

They each made their own faces.

"I don't think this is the dress for me." I said.

Alice shook her head, "No, it's too much at the bottom."

Esme, "The top half isn't too bad."

"Okay, let's try the next one." The lady said.

The next one wasn't the winner either, and after the fifth I began to feel discouraged.

"Don't worry, we'll find the perfect dress for you." She reassured me.

I nodded, biting my lip as she helped me out of the dress.

"I think you'll really like this one, I saved it for last." She said as she unzipped the bag.

It was an ivory colored dress with a sweetheart neckline. The bodice fit perfectly and gave me more of a curve. The bottom half was the perfect size, not to outrageously big but big enough to be classified as a ball gown dress. I smiled widely.

"I think we have a winner," she said, "This one is perfect, it has a cathedral train and Chantilly lace over the bodice. It's simple, yet stunning and it fits you exquisitely."

I nodded, "This one may be the winner." I said, trying to contain my tears.

"Well, let's go out and see what the ladies think." She said.

When I stepped out of the changing room, their faces lit up. Esme even started crying.

"It's perfect Bella," She gushed, taking out her phone and taking a picture.

"Oh Bella, it's so beautiful," Alice said, smiling widely as she stood and examined the dress closely.

"This is the one Bella, it looks perfect on you." Rosalie said.

I wiped a few tears away, "I love it. This is my dress."

Esme hugged me, "Oh my gosh you're so beautiful."

I hugged her back, "Thank you."

"I'm guess this is the dress you want?" The lady said.

I nodded quickly, "Yes, it is."

She smiled, "Perfect I'll send for the perfect measurements and in about two to three months it'll be yours."

I nodded and looked at myself in the dress one last time before taking it off.

"The dress is done!" I said as I paid.

"Yep, now, let's go to lunch, I'm starved." Rosalie said.

I got home after we finished lunch. Edward wasn't home yet, which was to be expected. As I walked through the door I shuffled through the mail.

There was a hand written letter address to me. My brows crinkled as I stared at the outside of the letter. Anyone who knew me texted, no one wrote letters anymore.

I sighed and tore it open when I sat down on the barstool. I started reading it.

 _Dear Isabella,_

 _We haven't spoken in a few years, so you don't know what's going on in my life. I've been seeing a therapist for my issues, and in this stage of therapy, I must own up to the wrongs I've done, and I've wronged you monstrously. I hope you can forgive me. What I did was sick and I now realize what I put you through as a child was wrong. I tortured you with my selfish needs and my twisted ways. I really hope that you can find in it your heart to forgive me for what I've put you through. I would really like to see you and catch up, but I understand if you turn me down. My number is written on the back._

My heart sunk to the floor, panic set in, my breathing became uneasy. I felt like I was suffocating. I dropped the letter on the floor and ran up to my bedroom. I jumped into the bed and hid under the covers, my heart beating erratically.


	43. Chapter 43

**Hello everyone! First update for February! I really like this chapter. It's very long, so you're welcome. Tell me how you like it!**

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Chapter Forty-Three

I was tired after that long day. I hated working the weekends at the hospital, it seemed like people saved their injuries for the weekend. But I was eager to get home and see Bella, today she picked her wedding dress and I was excited for her to tell me if she found one; of course I couldn't see it until the wedding day.

I took my shoes and coat off at the door. It was quiet and dark in the house, but her car was here. She should be home. I immediately walked upstairs to our bedroom, she might be in there.

I flicked the light on and looked around really quick, she wasn't in here. I went into her room; she wasn't there either.

"Bella!" I called loudly.

There was a muffled sound from our bedroom. My eyebrows crinkled as I walked back into the room, I flicked the lights one.

"Bells you in here?" I said.

The covers on our bed moved slightly, I chuckled and walked to the bed, sitting beside her.

"Bella, why are you under the covers?" I asked.

She didn't say anything; I gently pulled the covers back. She was lying there with her eyes wide open, sucking on her thumb. At first I thought she may have been tired, but when I looked into her eyes I saw pure fear, and a fragile child.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked, putting my hand on the side of her face.

She flinched back, as if I were going to strike her.

"Bella, hey, it's me, it's Edward, Bella." I said gently, moving my hand to her shoulder.

She didn't say anything, instead she continued to stare off.

"Bella, please tell me what's wrong. Did something happen today?" I asked.

She sucked on her thumb harder. Her breathing was very labored.

"Bella, tell me what's wrong." I demanded.

She looked up at me, her glassy eyes seeming to snap open.

"N-nothing." Her voice was quiet.

"Why are you laying here then? Why didn't you answer me?" I asked.

She shrugged and started sucking her thumb again. I pulled it out of her mouth.

"Bella, did something happen today? You can tell me." I said.

She stared up at me for a few moments, then, in a blink of an eye, wrapped her arms around my neck, her body sliding awkwardly onto my lap.

"I want my pacey." She said in a small voice.

I placed my hand on her back, "What's wrong Bella?" I asked gently.

"I just want you to hold me daddy." she said, her voice now high pitched.

I sighed, "Alright, come here." I pulled her fully into my lap and started to rock her.

"Can you tell me what's wrong sweetie?" I asked.

She shrugged, "Nothing."

"Nothing?" I chuckled, trying to lighten her mood, "It doesn't seem like nothing. You can tell me honey." I said.

She shook her head, her hands squeezing my skin tightly. Her fingers were biting into my skin, but I didn't move them, something was definitely wrong and she needed this.

"Did you find a dress?" I asked, hoping to pull her out of her shell.

She nodded and started sucking her thumb again.

"You did? Is it really pretty? Does it look like a princess dress?" I asked.

She nodded again.

"You're not in a talkative mood huh honey? Are you in the mood for dinner?" I asked.

She shrugged.

"Okay, let's go fix dinner." I said, about to stand up. She gripped me tightly, "You want me to hold you honey?" I asked.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she burst into a sobbing mess.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked, pulled her back into my lap.

She didn't answer me, instead she just cried. I let her cry until her sobs turned into sniffles.

"Bella, tell me what's going on?" I asked.

She shook her head.

I sighed, "Sweetheart you can tell me." I said.

She shook her head again.

"Is there a reason you can't tell me?" I asked.

"I don't want to tell you." She said.

I was a bit taken aback by that. That was the first time she had ever outright told me she didn't want to tell me something.  
"Okay, do you want to call Emily and talk to her?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"Alright, well, let's go make dinner and then afterwards hopefully you'll talk to me." I said, carrying her as I walked downstairs.

She clung to me the entire time, not letting me put her down. I held her as I made dinner. She was being extremely clingy tonight.

"Here, sit down in your chair and eat Bella." I said, trying to put her down.

"No! Hold me!" She started crying again.

"Okay!" I said quickly, placing her in my lap as I sat in the chair, "Eat honey."

"Feed me." She said.

"Feed you?" I said, she had never asked me to feed her, "Okay."

As I fed her, I tried contemplating what was wrong. What happened today? Why is she being so clingy and emotional? She had her moments when she was a little girl but now she was being more babyish than a child.

"Are you done?" I asked.

She nodded and leaned her head onto my shoulder.

"Do you want to play in your playroom?" I asked.

She shook her head no. Well, that was definitely weird. Bella was always ready to play in her playroom.

"What's wrong sweetie? Tell daddy what's wrong?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"Was someone mean to you?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"Bella, please tell me what's wrong." I said.

"I want to take a bath." She said.

I sighed, "Okay. I'll give you a bath."

I carried her up the stairs and ran her bath. Of course she didn't let me go, so I awkwardly leaned over the tub and ran her water.

As she sat in the tub, she kept one of her fists clutched tightly around my shirt. But she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I kept asking, she just shook her head.

"Let me dress you Bella." I said as I sat her on the bed.

She started crying again when I walked away to get her PJ's.

"I'm right here Bella," I said, rushing to her side once I retrieved her footies.

She stopped crying once I lifted her back into my arms.

"Baby, what's going on? Why are you so upset?" I asked.

"I want my pacey." She said.

"Alright." I got it from the drawer, she plopped it right into her mouth, "Honey I've got to take a shower, will you sit here and play on the IPad?" I asked.

She burst into tears. I sighed, I don't mind holding her but I really needed a shower. After spending a day caring for the sick and injured, I needed a hot shower.

"Okay, I'm sorry, you're just going to have to cry for a little bit. I need a shower." I left her on the bed and got in the shower. She was still sobbing, but she had moved in front of the shower door and was leaning her forehead against it.

"I'm getting out honey." I said, carefully opening the door.

She lifted her arms for me to pick her up.

"Hold on, I need to dry off," I reached for the towel and dried myself.

She had wrapped herself around my leg, making me stumble.

"Bella, stop, I need to put on pants," I said, trying to pull my sleep pants on.

I unwound her arms, but she was fighting me. I finally slipped my pants on after ten minutes of fighting with Bella.

I lifted her up into my arms, doing my best not to get frustrated with her. Something was wrong and I needed to be patient. I took a deep breath.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked, sitting her on the counter.

She held her arms out and cried, much like a toddler. I sighed and pulled her into my arms again.

"Stop crying honey, it's okay." I said gently, going to the bed. I laid down beside her, she wrapped herself around me, clinging tightly.

"Do you want me to read?" I asked.

She nodded, "Pacey." She said.

I grabbed her back up pacey, I wasn't sure where the other one was.

I moved us around so I was leaning against the pillow and she was leaning against me.

"Okay, what do you want to read?" I asked.

She shrugged, her fist holding onto my pants. She was acting as if she were scared I was going to leave.

I kissed her forehead, "Let's read Beauty and the Beast, does that sound good?" I said, beauty and the beast was her favorite, maybe that would snap her out of it.

After about an hour of reading she fell asleep. She was still clinging to me tightly.

I grabbed my cell phone and texted Alice.

 _Did something happen today? -Edward_

 _No, why? -Alice_

 _Bella is just acting weird. -Edward_

I didn't bother to see what Alice said; I just tried to wrack my brain with what could possibly be wrong. I kissed her forehead again, trying to go to sleep and reevaluate in the morning.

2:40 A.M.

I was woken up by Bella thrashing mercilessly. I sat up and placed my hand on her gently. When I moved my leg, I felt something wet. I moved the blankets aside and found that Bella had had an accident.

"Bella wake up," I said, shaking her gently.

"No!" She screamed loudly, opening her eyes, "I don't want to!" She screamed louder.

"Honey! It's me! It's Edward!" I said, pulling her into my arms.

Her breathing was labored and she was crying. I rocked her, kissing her head and telling her it was alright.

"Let me wash you off." I said, lifting her out of the bed.

She clung to me, mumbling incoherently.

I sat her in the bathtub and ran the water, she clung to me as I washed her off.

"Can you sit here for a minute sweetie?" I asked.

"No! Don't leave me!" She screeched loudly.

"Okay, okay." I said, lifting her out of the tub and wrapping her in a towel. She was shivering.

I sat her on the chair in the corner. I had to strip the bed. She cried loudly as she watched me change the bed. She wanted me to pick her up.

I simply ripped the blankets and sheets off the bed and threw them onto the floor. The mattress was wet, but we could sleep in our guest room for the rest of the night.

I dressed her in one of her night gowns after I changed out of my wet pants, then I picked her up. I walked into the guest room and pulled down the blankets. I covered her back up, kissing her forehead.

She was still crying, I crawled in beside her and pulled her into my chest.

"Shhh Bella, shhh, it's okay my sweet girl." I said.

"I-I'm s-sorry!" She cried into my chest.

"It's okay," I whispered gently.

"I'm a bad girl!" She said.

"No you're not angel, you're such a sweet girl." I said.

"No I'm not," she said.

"You are though, you're such a good girl and I love you so much." I said, kissing her cheeks.

"No," she moaned, resembling a dying cat.

"I do though, you're such a good girl. And I love you so much." I said, rubbing her back gently.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because you're sweet, amazing, smart, and beautiful." I said, kissing her with each word.

"Noooo!" She cried loudly, "Why did he do it!?"

My heart skipped a bit. I didn't know what to say. She didn't need to go into details about what she was talking about, I already knew. She had asked why her father raped her, she had never asked why he raped her.

I took a deep breath, "I don't know honey." Was all I could say.

She looked up at me with big eyes, "I didn't want it." She said.

I nodded, "I know you didn't. What he did was wrong."

"I know, everyone says that." She sucked in a deep breath.

"Because it's true." I said.

She squeezed me tightly and stopped talking. I rubbed her back gently and hummed. I wasn't going to push her right now. I could see how fragile she was in this moment. She soon fell asleep.


	44. Chapter 44

**Good afternoon everyone! I hope you enjoy this update! Classes are intense, but this is a nice long chapter for you. Lucky news though, I'm off from work tomorrow _and_ school! Woot woot! I love how the days lined up. Does anyone know any good, *healthy, cleanses to try? I've been feeling yucky lately and I'm searching for a couple day cleanse to clean my system out and start anew. I fell off the wagon and I've been having so much trouble getting back on it! I can't seem to stick to a healthy lifestyle! I know the benefits of a healthy lifestyle but chocolate cake is to delicious :'( **

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Chapter Forty-Four

I woke up the next morning holding Bella in my arms tightly. It was a restless night. I stayed awake most of the time listening to her cry in her sleep.

I had woken her up a few times to get her out of her nightmares but when she fell back asleep she'd have another nightmare. I took a deep breath and squeezed her gently.

She opened her eyes slowly, her eyes bloodshot.

"Good morning," I said gently.

"M-morning." She said in a small voice.

"So, I was thinking that we should see if Emily will see us." I said.

"No, I want to stay home." She said.

I took a breath, "I think we should at least call her. I think something is bothering you and we need to talk about last night." I said.

"I'm sorry I wet the bed. I didn't mean too." She said.

"It's okay sweetie. I'm not mad. Accidents happen." I told her, "Are you hungry? Let's go eat some breakfast. You want to go to IHop?" I asked.

She shook her head, "I want to stay home. Can we just lay in bed please?"

"Lay in bed? Why do you want to lay in bed?" I asked.

"Because." She said.

I chuckled, "Because isn't a good enough reason."

"I'm tired." She said.

"Okay, why don't we go downstairs and have a lazy day on the couch? We can rent a movie." I said.

She sighed heavily, "Fine." She answered.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing." She said.

I sighed and started to get out of the bed. She latched on to me.

"Carry me." She whined.

"Okay, come here." She scooted to the edge of the bed. I gathered her in my arms and walked downstairs.

"I have to go to the bathroom sweetie, will you wait right here?" I asked.

She didn't let me go, instead she stared at me with big, watering brown eyes.

"I'll be a few seconds," I said.

Tears started to roll down her cheeks.

"Bella, why are you being so clingy? What's wrong? What's scaring you?" I asked.

"I don't want you to leave me." She said.

"I'm not leaving you. I'm going to the bathroom."

She whined, leaning back against the couch. I didn't know what to do. I hesitantly went to the bathroom and rushed back to the living room. I pulled her in my lap as soon as I sat down.

"Here we go, see baby, it's okay." I told her, kissing the top of her head.

She sucked in a deep breath, her arms wrapped around my neck.

"Bella, I'm going to call Emily and see if she can see us." I told her.

"No!" She cried loudly.

"Why don't you want to see Emily? I think she can help." I said.

"Help what?" She huffed.

I chuckled, hoping to lighten the mood, "Honey, something is bothering you. You are never this clingy."

She tightened her arms around my neck, tucking her head under my chin.

"I'm going to text her." I said, reaching for my phone.

As I grabbed it, Bella smacked it out of my hand.

"Bella!" I scolded, "Go get that right now." I said.

"No, I don't want to talk to Emily!" she whined.

"Then talk to me honey, tell me what's bothering you?" I asked.

"No." she said.

I sighed heavily, "Alright. Fine. Go get my phone please." I asked.

"No." she said.

"Bella, I'm being very nice right now, but you are dangerously close to a spanking." I told her.

She started sobbing again. I sighed and rocked her.

"Baby, tell me what's wrong." I said, "I know something is wrong. You'll feel so much better if you just tell me." I said.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

"You're scared? Why are you scared?" I asked.

"Because," she said quietly.

"Because why?" I whispered, trying to match her voice.

She whimpered; I kissed her forehead gently, "You can tell me honey. Nothing you show me will change my opinion on you or how much I love you. I'll protect you."

She looked up at me, her big brown eyes watering. She sniffled, "I-I.." she trailed off.

"C'mon, tell me sweetie." I urged.

She nibbled her lip gently, "Kitchen." She said.

"Kitchen?" I said confused.

"On the counter." She clarified.

"What about the counter?" I asked.

She sighed, "I left a letter on the counter."

I nodded, "Can I go get it?" I asked.

She nodded, "Carry me with you."

I lifted her up and kept her on my hip. She sucked her thumb as I walked to the kitchen.

Sitting on the counter was a letter. I sat her down on the counter and picked the piece of paper up.

After reading it, I finally understood why she was acting so weird. I dropped the piece of paper down and hugged her tightly. She shuddered in my arms, breathing heavily.

"I love you so much. You're such a sweet, incredible, smart, and beautiful girl. I'm so sorry that you got this." I told her, kissing her.

"He knows where we live." She said quietly.

I squeezed her tightly, "He's not coming here." I said.

"B-but he knows our address. He can come here." She whimpered.

I leaned up and pushed the hair out of her face, "Today, I am calling an alarm company and getting the best protection package they have."

She stared at me for a few moments, "I'm scared." She repeated.

"I know. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you aren't scared. Tell me what that is. I don't care what it could possibly be, we'll move to another house if you want." I said in a serious tone.

She laughed a little, "I don't want to move. I like our house," she closed her eyes for a moment, "But I'm still afraid."

"I'm going to make the phone call right now, come on." I lifted her off the counter and placed her on my hip, walking to the study.

Bella's POV

He sat me on his lap while he researched alarm companies. When he found one, he ordered the best protection package they had. I leaned against his chest and sucked my thumb while he talked to them.

I didn't know how to describe my emotions, I just felt so all over the place. I wanted to cry and scream and throw things. It was very confusing. Edward was being amazing, even though I was being so erratic. He kissed the top of my head.

"They're going to be here tomorrow morning to install it. I got video cameras for the outside doors that'll connect to our phones so we can see if someone is at the door, new doorknobs that have a passcode to get in, and an alarm system that will have the police here in minutes." He said.

I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to control my breathing. His big hands rubbed my back soothingly.

"I love you," I said quietly.

"I love you too," he said, "Do you want to go to IHop? I know you have to be hungry."

I shook my head, "I just want to stay here. I'm not really that hungry."

He nodded, "Will you at least eat a banana? Please?" He asked.

I sighed, "Okay, I'll eat a banana."

He smiled, "Thank you, and I want to call Emily, just to see if maybe she's available to talk."

I shook my head again, "I don't want to talk to Emily."

"I know sweetie, but maybe she'll have some advice for us for dealing with this. Maybe she can make you feel better." He said.

I sighed, "Can we just… put it off until Friday? Please? Right now I just want to sit on the couch and watch movies with you."

He smiled a little, "Okay baby girl, we can call Emily tomorrow. I just want to get her opinion."

I nodded, "I know. I just need time to just get myself together."

He nodded, "I understand. How about this, we just have a lazy Sunday. We can order pizza for dinner and rent some movies."

I smiled, "That sounds like a good plan."

Edward's POV

We stayed in our PJ's all day and watched movies as we snuggled on the couch. I didn't push her today, she was just so fragile and I was okay with just cuddling her like she needed.

After we ate lunch she fell asleep. So I was left to think about the letter.

That son of a bitch had the nerve to send her a letter. How dare he? That bastard was dead. If I ever… I'd kill him. I knew that.

Bella started thrashing around, crying out in her sleep, just like she did last night. As I was about to wake her up, I felt a hot wetness seeping through my pants.

"Bella wake up," I said moving her off the couch.

"W-what?" She said, her eyes blinking open.

"You had an accident." I said as I took her up to our bathroom.

She blushed, "Oh no, I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay," I said, stripping her out of her soaked clothing.

I sat her in the tub and ran some warm water. She was crying, her face in her hands. It seemed like her entire body was blushing.

"It's okay Bella, it's not a big deal." I told her.

"Yes it is! I'm an adult! Adults don't have accidents!" she cried.

"You're fine my sweet girl. It's not a big deal," I said, taking the cup and running water down her back a few times, "There we go angel, all clean now." I told her, pulling her out of the tub and wrapping her in a towel.

"Why did I do that?" She groaned as I put a new set of PJ's on her.

"Well, I think you were having a nightmare. It's the same thing that happened last night." I told her.

She sighed and stared down at her hands. I kissed her forehead.

"It's okay honey, it's not a big deal." I said.

She sighed, "I'm going to ruin the furniture. I don't even remember what I'm dreaming about."

"You don't remember anything?" I asked.

She shook her head, "I just… I know it's scary. But I can't really remember what."

"Hmm, you've never really had nightmares like this before. It probably has to do with the letter."

She nodded, "Probably."


	45. Chapter 45

**Hey everyone! Sorry about the slow updates, school is brutal. I started a new story as well, if you like smut and drama and all that, check it out. Anyways, enjoy! And I hope you guys had a great weekend!**

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Chapter Forty-Five

I was beyond embarrassed. Last night it had been bad, but when I had an accident on the couch… I wanted to die.

Edward has seen me at my worst and at my best, but wetting the bed was just something else. Of course he didn't think it was a big deal, but I was still mortified.

He kissed my forehead, "It's okay baby girl. You know what, let's order a pizza and we can order one of those chocolate lava cakes? Hmm?" He said with a smile.

I cracked a little smile; I loved the lava cakes, "Okay." I said.

"And we can rent the movie Moana, it looks pretty good. You were eyeing it on the movie rental list." He said.

I nodded, "That sounds good. I wanted to see it." I said.

He smiled, "Alright sweetie." He said before kissing the top of my head.

A Couple Days Later

It would seem I had a problem. Every night, I had been having 'accidents,' in the bed. Edward was nice enough and always changed the sheets and washed me off, but I was sure he was getting tired of being woken up by it.

Tonight we were seeing Emily; I was nervous about having to tell her about my bed wetting problem, but Edward was positive she'd have a solution.

As we drove to the appointment, the knots in my stomach ached. I was also nervous about showing Emily the letter; Edward had it and wanted to see what she made of it.

He held my hand tightly as we walked into the building; even though I wanted to be held. This has not been a good week, I know I've been overly clingy, but I don't know what's wrong with me.

Usually I'd go sit and wait while he signed us in, but today I clung tightly to his side. He didn't mind though.

"You guys can go right in." The secretary said.

Emily was writing at her desk when we walked in, she smiled, as usual, and motioned for us to sit.

"Just a sec," She said as she continued writing.

Edward sat first, I waited so I could sit in his lap. He stroked my hair.

"Alright," Emily said as she walked to her seat, "Let's get started." She said.

I put my head on Edward's shoulder and stared at his chin, not wanting to talk.

"Well, Emily, to be honest, we've kind of had a very rough week." He said.

"Okay, please go on," she said.

"It started with Bella receiving a letter from her father," I whimpered slightly, he stroked my back, "And she's just been extremely frightened and more fragile than usual. And she's been having… accidents, in the bed." I blushed furiously.

"Oh okay," Emily said, "Do you have the letter with you?"

Edward handed her the letter, I stared at it as if it were going to bite me.

She read it over then nodded, "This isn't unusual for therapists to make their clients write letters to someone they've wronged. Personally, I believe it does more damage than good," she gestured to me, "Because the victims of their crime have old wounds ripped open. Bella, can you tell me how you're feeling?" She asked.

I was quiet, I didn't really want to talk.

"Go on Bella, talk to Emily." Edward encouraged.

I nibbled my lip for a few minutes, "I-I don't know." I said.

"You don't know? Are you sure?" She asked.

A few traitorous tears rolled down my cheeks. I shook my head. Edward rubbed my back and kissed my forehead the whispered, "It's okay Bella, my sweet girl, I won't let anything hurt you."

"Bella, you are safe to say whatever you want here. If you want to scream, hit the pillows, cry, yell, you have the freedom to do that here." Emily said.

I sighed, biting the inside of my cheek, "I'm afraid."

She nodded, "That's understandable. Can you tell me what exactly you're afraid of?"

"I-I'm scared of seeing him again. I'm scared that… everything I left in the past is going to come back up. I don't want to face any of it. I don't want to be reminded of everything that's happened." I explained.

Emily nodded, "You are in no way obligated to reach out to him and see him. You hold the ball in your court. If you don't want to see him, then no one can make you. No one will ask you to see him. Now, getting someone's address is not too difficult, so he probably looked you up. But I don't think he'd actually come to your house." She said.

"We just purchased a new home security system. We've got cameras that are linked to our phones so we can see who's at the front door and the back." Edward said.

"That's good. It seems like you've taking the right precautions, does having the security system make you feel a little bit better?" Emily asked.

"A little bit, but… I don't know." I said, looking down at my hands.

"It's alright to feel that way. It's hard to predict what people are going to do, but, in the state of Chicago, I know there is a sort of restraining order you can fill out at the police station that states that that particular person cannot be within a 100ft of you. That might be something to look into, because, if he does show up anywhere where you are, then he can get into a low of trouble." She said.

"I didn't know that." I said.

She smiled gently, "I suggest you two look into it, it might be something that'll help you cope with this."

"We can think about it." I said, looking up at Edward.

"Okay, well, let's move onto the bed wetting," I blushed when she said that, "It's not uncommon for people who have been molested or raped to wet the bed. It's actually a sign of the abuse. Bella, did you use to wet the bed as a child?"

I nodded, "Only a couple times…"

"A huh, and when did it stop?" She asked.

I thought for a minute, "It stopped when my mom took my bed away."

"She took your bed away?" Emily asked, "Where did you sleep?"

"On the floor." I said, Edward's arms tightened around me slightly.

Emily nodded, "Well, we're not going to do that."

"I would never make you sleep on the floor Bella." Edward said, kissing my temple.

"That's right, no one should ever be punished for an accident," Emily said, "So, what we do to prevent it, is to change the times you drink the tea maybe drink it two hours before bedtime, going to the bathroom right before you crawl into bed, have an alarm set around midnight so you can wake up and go to the bathroom then right back to sleep. And finally, Edward, you need to be as encouraging as possible." Emily said.

Edward nodded, "That sounds good, I can definitely be encouraging." He put his arm around me and hugged me tightly.

"Is that okay with you Bella?" Emily asked.

I nodded, "That sounds fine."

She smiled, "Good, I also suggest getting a mattress pad just to protect the mattress."

I nodded, "I don't want to ruin our mattress. Can we pick one up after this?" I asked.

"Of course my love," he said, "I have notice that when she has these accidents, I'm waking her up from a nightmare."

Emily nodded, "What kind of nightmares are you having?" She asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know."

"You don't remember anything in the dreams?" She asked, not believing me.

I twiddled my thumbs, "M-maybe I remember a-a little."

"What's the little that you remember?" She asked.

"Well, I remember being in my old bed, before my mother took it."

Emily nodded, "Mm hmm, and what's going on when you're in the bed?"

"The door is opening, and my… f-f-f-…he is walking in." I said, my eyes starting to zone out. Edward's arm tightened around me, pulling me closer.

"I'm guessing that that is around the time he raped you? Am I correct?" She asked.

I nodded, "Yes."

"Mm, alright, this is why I believe that writing the letter would be very beneficial for you. Except we won't send the letter, we'll just read it so you can get everything you're holding in out and we can work from there." She said.

I nibbled my lip, "I'm afraid… to write it."

"Why honey?" She asked.

I sighed, "B-because… last time I tried to t-tell, s-she got mad at me." I said, beginning to tremble.

She nodded, "Your mother got mad at you? Can you tell me exactly what you told her?"

I leaned into Edward, looking down at the floor, "I-I t-told her w-what he… d-did to me."

"And she didn't believe you. I'm curious, what did she actually say when you told her? Could you please tell me?" She asked.

My lip trembled, "S-she…" I shuddered a long sigh, unable to tell them anything.

"It's okay Bella, you are safe. We believe you." Emily said.

I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my face into Edward's chest. Her rubbed my back.

"Maybe we should do this another day, when she's not so… fragile." Edward said.

"Now, Edward, I told you I'm cracking down a bit more. We need to get to the root of the problem. I told you it was going to hurt her, but she's strong and she needs this," Emily told Edward, "Bella, please tell me what your mother said. Did she do anything? I would really like it if you talked to me."

"I don't… it's hard for me…" I couldn't get the words out. Instead I squeezed my eyes shut again and put my face into my hands.

"Okay Bella, I see," she got up and retrieved a cup of water, then pulled her chair closer to us, "Bella, how about this, you take two weeks and you write your letter. Okay, two weeks to figure out what you're going to write, how you're going to write it, and if you're really getting everything out. I know right now you're feeling vulnerable, and it might be scary, but you can do it. Edward and I believe in you; we know you can. You are a smart, strong, and successful young woman, you can overcome." She said.

I blushed slightly; being complimented by someone other than Edward is weird.

"And Edward, you said she's been extremely clingy this passed week? That's not unusual, but what I'm recommending for you is to not constantly hold her. She doesn't need to be constantly held, she doesn't need you to cater to her. That's not helping her, now, comforting her is different. If she needs a hug or a kiss or for you to just cuddle with her, that's fine. Do that. But when she holds her arms out to you to carry her, you can't. I know right now that's hard, because she's in such a fragile state, and she'll cry. But you have to remember that she needs to build her confidence and her independence. So, please refrain from being so overly catering."

He nodded and kissed the top of my head. I was staring at Emily as if she'd grown five heads.

"Bella, I know that you may think it's okay for Edward to cater to you constantly, but it's not. You need to be independent. It's fine to have days like you've had this week, but those days can't happen every day. You can't let these fears consume you and control you."

I bit the inside of my cheek and turned my head away. I knew what she was saying was true, but it was so hard to hear. I didn't like hearing it; maybe because it was true and the truth hurt.


	46. Chapter 46

**Hey hey! Sorry about the delay, like I've said before, it's been busy with school :,( But, here you go! And it'll probably be another week before I update, so enjoy!**

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Chapter Forty-Six

One Week Later

Edward has been doing what Emily has ordered. He hasn't been holding me, but he still cuddled and kissed me when I needed or asked him. But if I held my hands out and demanded he hold me, he wouldn't.

I was starting to become irritated with it. Okay, I get that holding me constantly wasn't helping me, but I just wanted him to hold me damn it!

My nightly schedule had changed as well. I didn't get my bottle of tea until two hours before bed and right when we crawled into bed, I had to go to the bathroom. And Edward had an alarm set a midnight for me to go to the bathroom. So far it's worked. No accidents.

But, tonight, he was going to make me work on the letter. It was Friday, the day we typically would see Emily, but she gave me a week off to write it.

He walked through the door, kicked off his shoes and took off his coat. I ran to him and held my arms up for him to hold me.

He shook his head and instead hugged me tightly, lifting me slightly off of the ground then setting me down.

"I missed you today sweetie." He said, walking passed me.

"Hold me," I asked, grabbing his arm.

"No Bella, let's get dinner ready. I'm starved." He said.

"No, hold me!" I demanded, stomping my foot.

"Isabella, don't start tonight. I want to try to have a good evening before you work on the letter."

"I'm not working on the stupid letter. I just want you to hold me! Why won't you hold me? Don't you love me?" I asked, tears welling in my eyes.

"Of course I love you. I love you so much, but you know what Emily said. Me holding you all the time isn't helping you. But after dinner we can cuddle on the couch and watch some television." He said.

I stomped my foot again, "No! I want you to hold me!"

He didn't stand there with me, instead he walked into the kitchen. I was stunned; he'd never walked away, usually he stayed. I growled; he was being unfair.

I stomped into the kitchen, "Hold me!" I demanded.

He was getting out pots and pans, "Do you want spaghetti for dinner?"

"No I want you to freaking hold me!" I said.

He sighed, "No Bella, not right now."

I whined loudly, "Why! I'm not hungry! Hold me!"

"No Bella." He said firmly.

I growled and picked the nearest thing I could grab up and chucked it at him. The pink plastic cup hit him on the back of the head. I felt my heart leap as he slowly turned around.

"Corner. Now." He said in an angry voice.

"No." I said with venom.

"You're about to be in so much trouble Isabella. 1… 2…..3. Corner right now so you can think about this attitude, then you're getting a spanking."

I lifted my chin, "No I'm not."

"You're not? How do you figure you're not getting a spanking?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"Because you don't want to hold me so that means I'm a big girl now and I don't get spankings." I said, crossing my arms as well.

"Hmm, so, you're a big girl now? Do big girls throw things when they don't get their way?"

"When they have to." I said.

"Go to the corner now. You can come out when you figure out how you're supposed to act. Then, you _will_ be getting a spanking for this behavior."

I turned and walked out of the kitchen. No, I was not going in the corner. He didn't want to hold me so that meant I could opt out of corner time and spankings. I ran upstairs to my playroom, shut the door loudly and started playing.

Edward's POV

Emily had warned me that she was going to push it. I knew it was bound to happen. The last few days I had been denying her requests to be held and I could see it slowly starting to chip away at her.

I would hold her if I could, but Emily had been stern with her warning and I knew to take it seriously. If I under minded her authority, then Bella would think it was okay. So, I had to be the grown up and follow her instructions.

I could hear her footsteps going up the stairs and into her playroom. It was going to be one of those nights. I could sense it. When I walked through the door, I could see it on her face. It most likely had something to do with the fact that we would be working on the letter tonight.

Instead of running after her immediately, I pulled out my cell and called Emily.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Emily, I need a little help." I said.

"Of course, what's wrong?" She asked.

I sighed, "Bella is really pushing it tonight. She wants me to hold her, and I've told her no, but now she's throwing a big temper tantrum."

"Okay, well, that's to be expected."

"Yeah, but should I spank her? Or should I let it go because we're going to start the letter tonight?" I asked.

"You can't float the rules, all that'll do is encourage the bad behavior because she'll think that if she shows herself enough she can get away with it. She's most likely acting up worst tonight is because she knows you two are going to work on the letter. She's stalling. Don't be surprised if the behavior continues to get worse tonight. But, she may need that reassurance."

I sighed, "I just… it's already going to be hard tonight. I know that. I don't want to make it harder."

"You're not going to make it harder. Bella needs to understand, firstly, that that kind of behavior is not acceptable. And she also needs to understand that this is going to get tough, it's going to hurt and be painful, but if she doesn't break through these walls, then it'll never get better. Think back to the first time you caught her cutting herself, she did this because her class was talking about child molestation. Bella is training for a career that is ninety percent child molestation cases. When she inevitably has to review one child's story, how is she going to handle it. I know it's hard on both of you; you don't want to see her hurt and upset, but sometimes, to get to emotionally stable you have to break through some pretty painful walls." She said.

I sighed heavily, "Yeah. You're right. Thank you Emily."

I put my phone down and headed up the stairs. Already knowing, in my gut, that this was about to be one hell of a fight.

Bella's POV

I was waiting for him to come upstairs. I knew it was only a matter of time before he walked through the door.

As I predicted, the door opened and he walked through it. I ignored him and kept playing.

"Bella, I think we need to talk." Edward said.

"No." I said.

"Come on Bella, come here so we can talk." He sat in the big chair and patted his knees.

I made a face and continued to ignore him.

"What's going on Bella? Are you acting out because you have to write that letter tonight?" He asked.

I frowned and blinked hard, "No."

"No? It's not? Then what is the issue baby?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes and groaned, "I don't want to talk! Go away!" I screeched at him.

"Bella, come on, let's talk this out."

I bit the inside of my cheek as hard as I could, I stood abruptly and stomped over to him. I crossed my arms.

"I don't want to do it." I said.

"Write the letter?" He said, patting his knees.

I sighed and sat in his lap, my head against his neck, "I don't want to write it."

"Why not?" His hands rubbed my back.

"Because." I mumbled into his neck.

"Because why? Tell daddy what's wrong," he said gently.

"I just don't want to."

"But there has to be a reason sweetie," he lifted my face to look at him, "I know the letter writing is going to be hard, but there has to be another reason."

I nibbled my lip, avoiding his comforting eyes. I didn't want to talk about it.

"Are you just stalling? Because you don't want to write it?" He asked.

I sighed, "Maybe. But, it's just a lot to deal with. I mean, I have to write the letter and you're not carrying me anymore. I just feel like I don't have any comfort anymore."

He nodded, "Well, Bella, I know it seems unfair that I'm not carrying you, and if I could hold you, I would. But Emily says it's not helping you."

"But I want you to hold me. I feel safe and protected when you hold me."

"I'm holding you now sweetie," he said.

"I know," I whined, "but, ugh, I just want you to carry me."

He sighed, "Bella, I know. I want to carry you too, but we have to try what Emily suggests."

I nibbled my lip, "I don't want to write it. I'm scared, daddy."

"What are you scared of?" He asked.

I shrugged.

"Hmm, let me think," he said, tapping his chin, "Are you scared the paper is going to bite you?"

I blushed, "No." I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to make me laugh.

"How about the pencil biting?" He asked.

"No." I said, fighting the smile.

"Not the pencil biting and not the paper biting? What about the chair going crazy? Or the paper flying away or—," I cut him off.

"No! I'm scared that when I write this letter you're going to think I'm perfectly fine and you won't be daddy anymore! I don't want to everyone to say I'm all better and I won't be better. I don't want have to pretend I'm okay again." I sobbed, my face pressed into my hands.

His hand rubbed my back soothingly. He let my cry for a few minutes, holding me tightly.

After my crying turned into short gasps and snuggled me closer.

"Bella, I don't want you to ever pretend that things are okay when they're not. Not ever again do you have to pretend to be okay. And I know that even though you write this letter that things aren't going to be magically better. Emily knows that too," he wiped a few tears from my cheeks with his thumbs, "and I will be daddy for as long as you need me to be. That will never change unless you say so," he kissed my forehead, "so you're afraid that you'll have to pretend to be okay?" He asked.

I nodded and sniffled, "I didn't like pretending. I always felt stressed and I felt yucky. I hated feeling that way and I don't want to feel like that again."

"Sweetie, you never, ever have to pretend to be okay. I don't want you to pretend. Pretending is no fun unless it's play, but if you're pretending to be okay, you'll surely be miserable. I don't want you to miserable and suffering in silence." He told me.

I nodded, my head still pressed against his chest.

"There's more?" He guessed.

I shrugged.

"There is, what else is bothering you sweetie?" He asked.

I took a shaky breath, "I still want you to be daddy."

He nodded, "And I'll be daddy for as long as you need me," he paused for a moment, but I knew he wasn't done, "Why do you want me to be daddy? Is there a reason?"

"I just feel protected and safe when you are daddy. I just want to keep feeling safe and loved and protected." I said.

He smiled, "I'll be daddy for as long as you need me to be."


	47. Chapter 47

**Hey everyone! I've been a total ghost lately and I am sorry. I feel bad for not updating like I should, but school and work are crazy! That, and I haven't had the motivation to write lately, I think I may be overloaded. Oh, and I wanted to address the fact that the guest reviews are being screened and if they are just totally uncalled for, then they will not appear in the review section. Honestly I'm just over the annoyance of being told how wrong and sick my story is by the same people, enough is enough. This will be the only time I address it. Anyways, please enjoy!**

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Chapter Forty-Seven

Last night I _did_ receive that spanking. My bottom was sore this morning when I woke up. He didn't make me write the letter though. But he is demanding that I start it today.

When I woke up he was already awake, which was weird because he usually slept in on his days off. He looked down at me.

"Good morning sweetie." He said gently, "Do you want to go get breakfast?" He asked.

I shook my head, "No thanks."

"No? Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yeah. I'm sure. I'm not that hungry."

He rubbed my back, "I know you're nervous. But we can get through this. It's just a letter."

"Yeah, a letter that's going to open the door for all my feelings and memories."

He chuckled, "Yeah. A letter. Just a letter."

I took a deep breath, "I just want to get it over with."

He nodded, "I know sweetie. But I'll try to make it an easy day. After you do the letter, we can go do something fun."

I nodded, "We'll see."

He didn't say anything; I guess he just wanted to see where the day would take us or he just didn't want to argue about doing something fun.

He patted my leg, "Well, I'll make us some breakfast. Oatmeal okay?"

"Yeah. That's fine."

We got out of bed and did our morning routines as usual. I may have been a bit more sluggish than usual, but I wasn't looking forward to writing that letter.

After breakfast Edward sat me down in the study at his desk and handed me a pencil and paper.

"Do you want me to leave so you can write this?" He asked.

"Please." I said. His brows shot up, he had expected me to ask him to stay.

He walked out of the study, telling me that if I needed anything just to holler and he'd get it. I stared down at the pencils and papers on the desk. As if expecting them to start writing.

I grasped a pencil in my hand and pressed the tip onto the piece of paper. It wouldn't move; I couldn't think of the words to make it move. I knew I should be channeling my anger and outrage, but nothing bubbled to the surface.

I growled quietly. Damn it. Just write something. Anything. Anything to get Edward and Emily off my back. Why was it so hard to write? I loved writing. English was my favorite subject in school because of the writing part.

I sighed and put my head on the desk, the pencil still grasped tightly in my hand. I could hear the television on in the living room. I desperately wanted to join him, but I'd be scolded back into here to write the damned letter.

I lifted my head up and started making angry lines across my paper. No actual words, just hateful, aggressive lines scribbled along the paper. The lines intertwined and created more angry lines and loops. I could feel my anger started to rise so I grabbed a new sheet of paper and started writing whatever came to mind.

A little less than halfway through the paper, I found myself in tears, sobbing at the words spilling onto the paper. All the anger, confusion, hatred, rage, sadness, depression, all the scars, emotional and physical came to light. I was angry. I was hurt. I was confused. I was enraged. I was mad about so much and by the time my hand started to cramp up I was on the back of my third sheet of paper.

Drops of my tears landed on the paper, slightly smudging the letter; it made the words appear angrier. I screeched at the paper and slammed my fist onto the desk.

Edward appeared in the doorway, his expression both of shock and concern.

"What's wrong?" He asked frantically.

I growled, "I'm angry!" I screamed, stand abruptly and letting the chair hit the ground noisily.

He nodded, "Okay, angry is okay. Why don't we do some breathing exercises?" He asked.

I screeched and threw everything off the desk, sobbing pitifully as I flew into my fit of rage. I threw and tore up everything around me.

"Bella, hon, come here," Edward said after I had torn up the room.

I was breathing heavily, staring blankly at the wall. I could feel the tears streaming down my face, but I ignored them; I was to angry. He held his arms out. Slowly, I walked into the embrace of his arms, but I kept my arms by my sides as he held me.

He stroked my hair with his hand, his other arm around my back.

"It's okay Bella, it's okay. Calm down." He said; I could tell he was trying to keep his cool, but he was shocked at my outburst.

"I'm angry." I repeated, my breathing never seeming to regulate.

He continued to stroke my hair, "Angry is okay. Angry is good. What are you angry about?"

"I'm angry at so much. I'm angry at my… him, for doing that to me. I'm angry at myself because in some weird way I'm terrified of him and I feel like I should…feel bad for hating him so much because he is my father! But fathers are supposed to love their daughters. They're not supposed to rape them! Fathers are supposed to care for their daughters and hold them when they're scared! Not feed on their fear and exploit it!" I screamed, my fists balling.

He nodded in agreement but didn't say anything. He was allowing me to vent.

"And my mother! God damn her! That fucking bitch whore! She blamed me! She blamed me! How could she?! I confided in her! He raped me for months… for a whole year before I told her! And she blamed me! She told me that I seduced him and it was my fault!" I screeched and jerked away from him, "I hate her more than I hate him. She was my mother and she was supposed to protect me from evil men who abused little girls!" I pounded my fist on the desk, staring at the letters.

"You're absolutely right." He said, after a few minutes.

I looked back at him, my fists still clutched tightly against the desk. His expression was unreadable.

"I am right!" I screeched, "I am right! I am right! I've seen your parents! I've seen Emmett and Rosalie! They love their kids! They're great parents! They've never even raised their voice to their kids! Why my parents!? Why! Why did they do this to me?! Why did they fuck me up so much!?"

"Because they are horrible people. And they did you wrong. They weren't fit to be parents to anyone, especially someone as incredible as you." He said.

I bit my lower lip hard, "I hate them so much. I feel like I'll never overcome my fear of them. I'll never be able to be completely normal… And don't say 'being normal,' isn't a big deal. Because it might not be for you but it is for me! It's easier for a normal person to tell someone who isn't a normal person that it's not a big deal not being normal."

He placed his hand on my back, "I'm not going to tell you that." He whispered.

I twisted in his arms as he wrapped them around me tighter, "I'm so angry." I whispered.

He tightened his arms, but didn't say anything. He let me be angry.

A Few Hours

I had long calmed down hours later. Edward and I were sitting on the couch, watching a movie. But I felt numb as we watched this movie. Edward constantly looked over, he was worried about me.

"Bella, you want to go play in your playroom?" He asked softly.

I shook my head and remained silent. I didn't want to play I just wanted to fume. He rubbed my shoulders.

"Do you want to go to the park?"

I shook my head again. He sighed and pulled me closer into his side, kissing my head.

"I love you so much Bella." He said.

"I love you to." I said in a cold tone. I didn't mean to be so hateful to him, I just couldn't shake off my bad mood.

"Let's do something fun for dinner. How about ice cream sundaes? We can go to the store and get a bunch of sundae stuff." He said with a big smile.

I leaned my head against his chest, "I'm sorry, I'm just… not in the mood for much tonight."

He stroked my back, "I understand baby, if there was anything I could do to make you better I would do it in a heartbeat."

I nodded and stuck my thumb in my mouth. Honestly, if there was something he could do to make me feel better, I'd ask him in a heartbeat. Nothing came to mind.


	48. Chapter 48

**Hellooo everyone! So here is chapter forty-eight, please enjoy! And thank you to all of my amazing supporters, you guys are awesome and keep this story going!**

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Chapter Forty-Eight

The week that passed was… strange. I don't know how to describe it, but it was just so numbingly quiet. Bella was just so strangely quiet and not herself. She barely spoke, only when I asked her something.

I was use to a lively house, Bella playing somewhere or talking about something, there was constant noise. The home use to be a happy, warm place. Now it was just cold and haunting.

I knew she was going through a tough time, I understood that so I wasn't going to push her. I was worried about tonight though. Bella had finished her letter. She locked herself in the study and finished it. I sat outside of the door keeping as quiet as possible with the key in my hand, just in case she needed me.

I woke up with a sinking feeling in my stomach. Before she woke up I stroked her hair and hugged her tightly to my chest. I wish I could just take her pain away. Absorb it so she didn't have to suffer with it. It wasn't fair that someone so incredibly amazing be hurting so much.

I kissed her forehead, she started to stir. Her lashes fluttered against her cheek. Her once warm brown eyes opened, now they were just cold and unfeeling.

"Good morning angel." I whispered gently.

"Morning." She said.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

"Fine," She said in her monotone voice, "I'm going take one of my absences from school today."

I nodded, "That's a good idea. Hey, how about I take off from work today and we can have a fun day."

"No, you go to work. I kind of want the day to myself." She said.

I nodded, "Okay, that's fine," I kissed her forehead, "I'm going to shower then I'll fix some breakfast."

I got up and got in the shower. I felt a little nervous about her being home alone all day. I wasn't sure what she was going to do, but she did need her space to think things through. I stepped out of the shower and peeked into our bedroom.

She was sitting on the bed playing with the Ipad. I did my usual morning routines, brush my teeth and hair and deodorant, then stepped out of the bathroom.

"What do you want for breakfast?" I asked as I pulled my scrubs on.

She shrugged, "It's up to you."

"Alright, I'll make some eggs and toast." I said; she turned the Ipad off and scrambled over to me. I picked her up as I stood and walked downstairs.

I sat her on the barstool and went about making breakfast. She watched closely as I cracked the eggs and walked around the kitchen.

"Do you want to color? Your coloring book is there." I told her.

"No thanks." She said.

I didn't push it, I just continued to fix breakfast. I put her plate down in front of her and she dug in.

"So, whatcha gonna do today?" I asked, eating my own food.

She shrugged, "I don't know yet."

I nodded, "There's plenty to do, but could you do me just one favor…" I said.

She looked up at me, "Sure, what is it?"

"C-could you not work on the letter? Or just try to avoid anything that will get you riled up?" I asked.

"Why?" She asked.

I sighed and put my fork down, "Because I'm afraid you'll… get overwhelmed, and I'm just afraid that if I'm not here… I just worry." I said.

She smiled a little, "I know you worry, but I promise you I'm going to be okay."

I took a deep breath and collected the dishes. I was nervous, jittery almost as I gathered my needed items for work. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"Just call me, if you need anything. Please, anytime today just call me and I'll be home in a second." I told her just before I left.

Bella's POV

I watched him leave, with a twisting feeling in my gut. I was nervous about being alone today, but I needed to be alone for a while. Just to think about things.

I licked my lips and walked to the couch, plopping down on it. I wrapped my legs around my knees and rested my chin on them.

For the first time in a long time, I haven't felt so… I didn't even know the word for it. My mind just felt clear and at ease. It was strange.

I wasn't complaining, it felt nice to be not so on edge. But, it was just a strange feeling.

I sighed and grabbed my cell phone, I needed to talk to someone. The phone rang a few times, then finally, she answered.

"Hey Bella, nice to hear from you." Esme said in her pleasant voice.

"Hey Esme, I was wondering if you were free today? I really need someone to talk to." I said.

"Of course, would you like to come over?" She asked.

"Yes, please. I'll get ready now." I hung the phone up and got off the couch, running up the stairs to get ready.

An hour and a half later I was on my way to Esme's house. It didn't take long to get there, but when I did I walked right on in. Carlisle and Esme had an open-door policy for family.

I found Esme in the kitchen, she was cooking of course. I sat at the island counter.

"Well, hello miss Bella, how are you doing today?" She asked as she leaned on the counter.

"I'm okay. I just needed a day off today to think about things," I said and sighed, "I know you know about stuff between Edward and I." I looked down at my hands that were clasped on the counter.

She nodded, "I do. How is everything going?"

"Everything is great, Edward is such a strong support and I wouldn't be here without him," I said.

She smiled, "Yes, so what seems to be troubling you?" she asked.

I sighed heavily, "You know more of our relationship than anyone else. You know what's been going on," I said, she nodded, "Well, my therapist has asked me to write a letter to my parents and just say everything I want to say to them, without sending the letter of course. Anyways I wrote the letter a couple days ago and when I wrote it I had this major freak-out, Edward was great about it and helped me calm down."

She nodded, "That sounds good. I'm glad you are working on things hon, but, what seems to be the problem?"

I nibbled my bottom lip, "Ever since my freak-out, I've just felt… weird."

"Weird? Weird how?"

"Well, before I had this whirlwind of uncontrollable emotions inside of me that just always seemed to be hanging over me no matter what I was doing, but now, all those emotions are gone. I don't feel numb, because I've felt numb before, but this isn't it." I explained.

She nodded, "It sounds like all the emotions you've been holding in are out. All the emotions you've built up over the years are released and now you feel better because you've properly expressed those emotions."

I nodded, "Mm hmm, but I'm kind of… afraid."

"Afraid?" She asked, one caramel colored brow raising.

"Yeah. I'm scared that if I relax, everything will come back up and I'll fall go back to being an uncontrollable mess of emotions. I feel like if I start being normal, because this must be what normal feels like then the day that everything comes back up I don't know what I'll do."

"Bella, you know, I'm a firm believer that there is no such thing as normal. Everyone has their own quirks and troubles. But, you know those emotions will always linger, you'll always have your triggers, but Bella, I promise you that with each passing day, those emotions will be easier to cope with. And I can tell you, from what you and Edward have told me, you're doing so great. You've learned great coping skills and I personally believe that you are strong enough to let those emotions go, because, maybe internally, you've been holding them in?" She said, giving her best professional evaluation.

"Maybe. I just feel like if I let these emotions go, then…" I sighed, looking down at my hands.

"Something else is bothering you. What's wrong?" She asked.

"I feel like maybe… I should be feeling these feelings."

"Ohhh, okay, I see," she said, "Bella, you feel guilty, why do you feel guilty?"

"I just feel like, I shouldn't hate them. But I do. And maybe my punishment for hating them is having these uncontrollable emotions." I said.

"Why isn't it okay for you to hate your parents?" She asked.

I shrugged, "For years I've seen the way you guys love each other and there are never any bad moments. You guys are always there for each other. That's how a family is supposed to be, but my parents… it just wasn't like that."

"Would you mind telling me what it was like?" She asked.

"Well, I can remember my mother always saying, 'it's wrong to even say the word hate.'" I said.

"Why did she say that?"

I chewed on my thumb nail, "I think it was around the time I told her about what happened. And when I said I hated him, she smacked me across the face and made me swish soap and hot sauce in my mouth for an hour." I said.

Esme's eyes flashed with horror for just a moment, but she composed herself quickly.

"Okay, so maybe you're afraid to hate them, because when you expressed your emotion you were punished pretty severely. Bella, it's okay to hate them. Hate is an understandable emotion that shouldn't be downplayed. You have every right to hate them Bella, no one is going to punish you or make you feel like your emotion is invalid," she reached across the island and put her hand on mine, "Bella, do yourself a favor and hate them. Hate them as much as you want, curse them if you want. Just know, that nothing is going to happen to you. I promise, no one is going to make you swish your mouth out with soap or hot sauce."

I chuckled, "I do hate them. I really, really hate them."

She smiled, "Good. Hate them Bella," she walked over to the oven, "Now, I baked brownies, they're nice and hot, annnnnnd," she reached into the freezer, "vanilla ice cream. Best combination in the world."

I smiled as she pulled out two bowls and cut into the brownies.

"I have always said, that chocolate is the best cure all," she handed me a bowl with a steaming brownie and a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

I dug into the brownie, "Thank you Esme. I really love talking with you. You always make me feel better."

She smiled, "I'm glad I do. You deserve to have people in your life you can talk to."

"Yeah but you help in a different way, like… a mothering way. Edward and Emily are great, but sometimes I like talking to you better. You have a way of making things… better," I took a bite, "I don't know another word to describe it."

She smiled widely, "Maybe it's just the mom in me."

I smiled, "You're a great mom. I wish I had a mom like you growing up."

She chuckled, "I wish you did too," she took a bite, "But you know, I don't think you'd be the same person. I'm not saying you'd be a bad person, but I'm saying you wouldn't be the person you are today. Hard times make us who we are, they mold how we view the world and the mark we want to leave on it. I can honestly say, that you are truly an incredible person with a bright future, and when you graduate with your degree, you're going to change lives. I'm very proud of you."

I had to wipe the tears out of my eyes.


	49. Chapter 49

**Hello everyone, chapter forty-nine is up sorry for the delay. I have been fighting a terrible case of the flu and I feel like I'm dying! This story is nearing its end! Maybe one or two more chapters to come, but it is almost over. Please enjoy chapter forty-nine! 3**

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Chapter Forty-Nine

I had been a nervous wreck all day at work worrying about Bella. I kept checking my phone to see if she'd call or text, but she never did. And when I finally got off work, I sped home, eager to see her and check her wellbeing.

I nearly fell on my face as I got out of my car rushing to the house. I slowed down when I got to the door so I wouldn't scare her.

"Bella, I'm home." I called out, kicking my shoes off by the door.

"I'm in here!" She called back.

I walked into the kitchen to find Bella standing in front of the stove, cooking like crazy.

"H-hey," I said, surprised that she was cooking. Usually I do the cooking.

"How was work?" She asked, as she approached me and kissed my cheek.

"It was fine. How was your day?" I asked, slightly unsure of what I should do.

"My day was fine. I went to your parent's house and hung out with your mom. Then I came back here and cleaned, and now I'm cooking dinner. So my day was pretty good." She said as she stirred what was in the pot.

I nodded, "What are you fixing?"

"Alfredo chicken and garlic knots! It's been forever since I've cooked for you." She said, ushering me to sit on the barstool.

"Yeah it has been," I said, "So, uh, I'm not complaining or anything, but why are you cooking? Usually you like it when I cook for you."

"I love it when you cook for me, but I thought it'd be a nice change for me to cook for you." She said with a smile.

"Oh, nice. I appreciate it." I told her.

She smiled brightly, "Okay, so I've been figuring stuff out today," she said.

"Okay, what have you been figuring out?" I asked.

She sighed a little and clasped her hands together, "Ever since my little freak-out with the letter, I've been feeling… well I feel good. I actually feel like I'm okay. I don't have this horrible uncontrollable mess of emotions inside of me anymore. I mean, I know that they're in there somewhere, but I talked to your mom today and that really helped me figure stuff out."

I smiled widely, "That's great Bella, I'm so glad."

She smiled back, "Yeah, but, I just wanted to tell you that I really, really, really appreciate everything you've done for me. Not just these past few months, but everything. You've always been the most stable person in my life and you've always been a huge emotional support for me. Honestly, no matter what, you've just been my rock, someone I could always hang onto whenever things got hard. I love you so much and I know you love me. And even with things becoming so screwed up and everything being so weird and stressful sometimes, you've always been there," She had reached across the table and grasped my hand tightly, "Thank you for being there for me."

I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly, "Bella, I love you so much," I kissed her temple, "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you."

She kissed my chin, "Good, because," she took a deep breath, "I think I'm ready to start being a 'big girl,' again. I still want you to be my emotional support though, because I'm not a hundred percent sure if I'm completely emotionally ready to be a big again, but I'd like to try."

"Of course, baby, I'm willing to try anything you're ready for." I told her.

"But, your mom told me that the emotions are still inside of me, so there might be days that I'll be a little, but then there will probably be days where I can be a big. So, I know it's going to be an adjustment period. Then again, I'm not sure if I'll even have little days." She said.

I chuckled, "Well, you set the pace. If you want to be a big, then you have every right to be a big, if you want to be a little, then I'll be right here as your daddy."

"Thank you, I love you so much." She whispered.

"I love you too, so much."

A Few Days Later

Bella's POV

Things had been going well. I hadn't had a relapse and our relationship had fallen back into the pattern that it was before we started the therapy. It was nice and a little nerve wracking; both Edward and I were worried about me spiraling into a false 'I'm okay' façade that I had before.

It was an adjustment for Edward because he was so use to doing things for me. It was strange for him to sit back and not do anything. I was cooking dinner now, going out on my own (of course I still texted him and let him know where I was and what not, but that was more of a safety precaution), and just basically doing things on my own.

Tonight, I had to do a little grocery shopping, the family was having a barbeque and I promised to make potato and macaroni salad, plus bread and some drinks. It was supposed to be beautiful tomorrow, the first day of spring and Esme wanted to have everyone over.

I picked my phone up and called Edward.

"Hey," I said, "I'm running out to the grocery store to get stuff for Saturday."

"Alright, I probably won't be home. I'm helping Emmett put this crib together." I could hear the eyeroll in his voice.

I laughed, "Okay, I'll see you when I see you." I said before signing off.

It was dark out, but my classes ran a bit late. Luckily there weren't too many people at the store, I liked shopping in peace and not fighting the crowds. I got a cart and started to the aisles, list in my hand.

As I walked down the aisle, collecting my items, I hummed to myself. When I grabbed a carton of eggs, I noticed a familiar face standing beside me. I was a bit shocked at first.

"Isabella," she simply said, reaching around me and grabbing a carton of eggs herself.

I watched her place the item in her cart and walk off slowly, not looking back. I was stuck in my place, struck with… shock? Confusion? Fear, maybe. I wasn't sure what it was, but I just stood there with a hurricane of emotions welling inside of me.

I abondaned my cart and ran back to my car. My hands shaking as I took my keys out and opened the door. I was scrambling to get my phone, wanting…. No, needing to call Edward immediately.

"Hey babe," he said cheerfully.

"W-where are you?" I asked in a small voice.

"I'm at Emmett's house, what's wrong?" He asked, his voice now panicked as he picked up on my tone.

"C-can you c-come here p-please?" I asked, my eyes darting around, looking for her.

"Where are you? I'm coming right now." He said; I could hear him scrambling to get his things and Emmett in the background asking what was wrong.

"I-I'm at t-the grocery store… t-the one on S-Sullivan street." I said, sinking down into the seat.

"I'll be there in twenty-minutes, just do your breathing exercises." He said before hanging up.

I sat shivering in the seat, trying to control my breathing. It'd been years since I have seen _her_. I cursed myself, mad at myself for acting like a fool but unable to move or calm down.

Twenty-minutes later

Edward's car pulled up beside me in the empty parking space. I threw open my door and threw myself into his arms, crying pitifully. He held me tightly and pulled me into the back of his car.

"Shh, shh, it's okay honey, just take deep breaths." He cooed quietly.

"I-I-I," I tried to speak but I could formulate any words.

"Just take a couple of minutes, it's okay. There's no rush." He whispered, rubbing my back.

I followed his breathing pattern, slow and steady. After a few moments, I was able to speak.

"S-she was in t-there." I whispered.

"Who honey? Who was in there?" He asked, keeping his voice calm.

"M-my m-m-mother," the tears started again as well as the whimpering.

He hugged me tightly to his chest, "It's okay honey, here, let's head on home." He said.

"Is she alright?" A deep voice asked from up front.

"Yeah," Edward said simply to his brother, "Can you drive her car back to our house?"

Emmett got out and got into my car. He drove off with another car following him.

"I-Is that…?" I trailed off as I caught a glimpse of Rose in the driver's seat. I blushed, "T-that's so embarrassing." I whimpered.

"I didn't tell them anything, I swear, I just needed to get our cars home. Let's go home and we'll relax." He said, moving us to the front.

"O-Okay." I said, curling up in the seat.

The drive home was quiet, I didn't feel like talking and he wasn't pushing me to talk. Of course the quiet was a chance for my memories to swirl around in my head.

Rose and Emmett weren't at the house when we got there. They had left, which I was grateful for, I didn't feel like seeing them right this second.

We kicked our shoes off at the door then walked into the living room. We thumped onto the couch.

"Do you want to talk?" He asked gently.

I shook my head and stuck my thumb in my mouth, "W-will you give me a bubble bath, please?" I asked, my voice extremely little.

"Of course, honey, come here." He picked me up and cradled me in his arms. I grabbed him tightly, like I usually did when I was in little-mode.

"Okay sweetie," he said as he sat me on the sink, "Let me run the bath water." He stepped away and started the water.

I curled my arms around my knees, watching him intensely as he ran the water.

"I-I'm sorry." I whimpered out.

He cut the water off and turned around. His bronze brow raised in confusion.

"You're sorry? Sorry for what sweetie?" He asked, walking over to me and placing his hands on the counter beside me.

I took a shallow breath, "I-I'm sorry for going back to a l-little."

He smiled slightly, "Hon, don't be sorry for that. We've talked about this, you're going to have moments where you're a little, and it's okay. I mean, you couldn't have known that _she_ would be in the same grocery store at the same time as you. It caught you by surprise," He stroked my cheek with his thumb, "Don't be sorry." He kissed the tip of my nose.

I gave him a little smile, "It was short lived."

"What was short lived?" He asked.

"Adult me." I clarified.

He chuckled, "That's okay hon. You can try again when you're ready."

I nodded and lifted my arms. He cradled me tightly and kissed my temple, "I love you sweet girl."


	50. Chapter 50

**Hello everyone! Okay, so I know it's been a while since I've updated this story, sorry about that, but my life has been a little hectic. Luckily for you, I've written a nice long final chapter. Thank you everyone who has supported this story from the beginning to now, honestly your positive and constructive reviews have really pushed me to finish this story, I hope you enjoy the final chapter and I hope you have a great week!**

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Chapter Fifty

After my bath, Edward and I curled up on the bed. I had a bottle of warm tea and he was reading a story. I listened intently, my toes wiggling in my footie pajamas. I was snuggled up beside him, my free hand grasping his pant leg as he read.

Occasionally he'd pause and check on me; making sure I wasn't bottling anything up. Truly I wasn't. I guess seeing _her_ had caught me off guard. I remember spiraling out of control when _he_ had sent me that letter, but I wasn't spiraling now.

When he finished the story, he set the IPad down on his chest, "I'm really, really proud of you Bella." He said.

I looked up at him and pulled the bottle out of my mouth, "Y-You're proud of me?"

He nodded and smiled, "I am. I truly am."

"Why?" I asked, confused as to why he'd be proud of me at a moment like this.

"Because you're not having a 'major freak-out,' as you'd say. If you had seen _her_ a few months ago, you'd have a big freak-out, but you're not." He kissed my forehead.

I thought for a moment, "I just thinking of that," I said, sitting up, "I remember when I received the letter and I completely lost control of myself. But now, I feel like I'm in control. I'm kind of shaky, I'll admit, but I actually feel okay. I don't feel like freaking out."

He chuckled, "I can tell. You're so calm, I mean I can see the slight shakiness, but you're not in shambles like I'd expect you to be. That's why I'm so proud of you. I believe you're actually healing."

I smiled, "I'm kind of proud of myself. I'm a little upset that I went little so quickly, but it's not like before. I feel like… it's just a comfort now and not a need. Not something I _have_ to do to get my head and my emotions in check. Everything is in check with me."

He rubbed my back, "You know, you've grown so much emotionally. I don't know if you can tell a difference, but I definitely can. Months ago, you were so emotionally distant and at times, secretive with your emotions. But now, you're able to talk about your feelings without shying away."

"I had a lot of help from you, and everyone. Honestly, I don't think I could have grown so much without you guys." I said, placing my chin on my knees and feeling a calmness wash over me.

"Yeah, you had help, but honestly, you broke out of your walls yourself. Emily gave you the tools to overcome this and I've been your biggest cheerleader, you conquered this yourself."

I smiled at him, "I would have never been able to overcome any of this without you. You've always been my biggest support, through everything. I don't know any other man to do for me what you have done. A lot of others would have given up, but you, you stuck with me. Through everything. Thank you, for everything." I said, leaning down and kissing his forehead.

He chuckled, "I love you. From the beginning, I've always loved you because I could see something so special deep down within you. I wouldn't be who I am today without you. You think I only helped you, but Bella, you've helped me too. You helped me grow into a better person, a more responsible person with a better outlook on life. Even with everything that's happened to you, you always maintained a positive outlook on life and you passed that outlook onto me. I'm so grateful for you." He said.

I thumped down against his bare chest, "I'm the grateful one."

June

All the girls spent the night at Esme's house. We had kind of a bachelorette slumber party, with wine and sweets and romantic cheesy movies. But, it was morning which meant it was the day of my wedding.

I woke up with twirling butterflies in my stomach, and it wasn't a bad thing. I was the first one to be up, well, I barely slept the night before because of the excitement.

I walked into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, I wasn't a big coffee drinker, but I knew the other girls would want some. After five minutes after the coffee started brewing, Esme walked into the kitchen, her houserobe wrapped around her frame.

"Good morning bride!" She said cheerfully, giving me a big hug.

I giggled, "Thank you my almost-mother-in-law."

She reached into her pocket, "I have something for you," she handed me a little black box, "I've given one to Rosalie and Alice. And I'm giving this to you, because today, you're officially one of my daughters."

I opened the box and found a beautiful bracelet with my birthstone and white diamonds. I smiled widely.

"It's so beautiful." I nearly whispered.

"It's your birthstone and mine, it matches Rosalie's and Alice's. And I thought it could be your something blue."

I hugged her tightly, "Thank you, I love it," I closed the box, "I'm definitely wearing this today."

She poured herself a cup of coffee just as both Alice and Rosalie walked in.

"Mmm, I thought I smelt coffee," Alice said.

"You're torturing me," Rosalie whined as she started to boil water for tea, "I miss coffee."

"Oh, poor thing, just one more month and you'll be able to enjoy caffeine again." Esme said, patting her shoulder.

"When are the people arriving to make us beautiful?" Alice asked.

Esme turned to check the oven clock, "In about two hours. I'll fix some breakfast."

The stylists arrived as we were cleaning up breakfast.

"Who first?" One of the stylists asked.

"I'll go last, I'm the bride." I said, sitting down on the easy chair in the living room.

"I'll go first, I'm the soon-to-be mother-in-law." Esme said sitting on the barstool.

Two Hours Later

After all the girls were done, it was my turn. I was excited as I sat in the chair. The style I had chosen was simple, I wanted my natural curls to be bigger and only half of it pulled up with the stylish veil clip.

"Let's put in the veil when we get there. We're not putting the dress on until we get to the vineyard." Esme said.

We piled into the limo that had pulled up moments after my hair and makeup was finished. I was bouncing in my seat as we drove to the location. Alice of course was DJ-ing, so the music was loud and bumping.

When we arrived at the venue, I was in awe. It was decorated so beautifully for my wedding. The sun shining down on the lake making it sparkle beautifully. The arch was set up already and a staff member was placing roses strategically on the arch and around it.

The girls hustled me into the bridal suite. Esme was hung my dress onto the hook. The girls fussed with my hair and makeup a bit, fixing anything that may have strayed out of place on the way here.

"Are you ready for the dress?" Alice asked.

I nodded enthusiastically, the butterflies in my stomach becoming more noticeable.

"The guests are arriving!" Emalie said as she stared out the window. She was the cutest little flower girl.

"Come here Emalie, let me finish your hair," Rosalie said, holding the clips that went in her curly blond hair.

I took a deep breath, "Ohh, I'm a little nervous. Why am I so nervous?"

Esme smiled, "Everyone is nervous on their wedding day."

I stood, "Okay, let's put the dress on."

"Hold on, let me get a few pictures of you," the photographer, who just walked in, said.

After a few photos of me 'getting ready,' I finally stood, ready for the dress. Alice was the dress guru, she was the one who volunteered to lace it up. It took about five minutes to get the whole thing together, then came the veil.

Everyone in the room awed. I smiled widely and turned to the mirror. My smile widened and tears welled up in the corner of my eyes. I had to admit, I looked beautiful.

Esme appeared in the mirror behind me, "You look breathtaking Bella." She said, hugging me.

"Thank you," I said.

"Let's get a few more shots of you by the balcony," the photographer said.

After posing some more it was finally time for the actual ceremony. Everything seemed to move quickly then, the girls and I lined up accordingly. The groomsmen were waiting, lined up in order.

It went, Rosalie and Emmett, Jasper and Alice, Angela and Edward's cousin James. The music began to play and everyone, as rehearsed, walked out. I was practically bouncing from excitement and nervousness.

Finally, it was my turn, I took the deepest breath I could and started walking. Slowly, I looked at the end of the aisle where Edward, my soon-to-be husband, was standing. He was smiling widely as walked towards him.

When our eyes met, all of my nerves seemed to vanish… in fact, the whole world seemed to vanish. It was just the two of us. My heart fluttered when I finally stood next to him. He stared down at me with complete adoration.

The preacher started speaking, welcoming everyone here and what not, but I was too focused on him.

"I love you," I mouthed.

"I love you too," he mouthed back.

The preacher went on and we repeated what we needed to repeat. I could barely get the words over a whisper, happy tears were streaming down my cheeks. He pulled me in closely and gently pressed his lips against mine. My hands found their way into his hair.

Everyone cheered and clapped as we kissed. When we pulled apart, we turned to the crowd and waved. We both smiled widely and walked back down the aisle, Edward's arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders.

We were giggling as we walked into a closed room. As soon as the door shut, Edward lifted me up and kissed me deeply. I ran my hands through his hair. After a few moments, he released me.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you. So much. More than anything." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He opened his mouth to say more but our bridal party walked in. Everyone hugging and kissing our cheeks.

"Congratulations!" Emmett said loudly, picking me up and spinning me around.

I giggled, "Thanks Emmett."

We didn't have a lot of time to hang around, everyone paired up and walked out to the reception hall. I leaned up and kissed Edward's cheek before our turn.

"Now you're stuck with me forever." I smiled brightly.

His smile was wider than mine, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Epilogue: 10 Years Later: Edward is thirty-six and Bella is thirty

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" A high pitched girlish voice said, as our bed bounced slightly.

I opened my eyes to see my three year old daughter, Elizabeth, staring down at me with her big green eyes.

"Mommy wake up today is the day!" She said, placing her small hands on my large, puturding belly.

I laughed, "Yes, Lizzy, I know. But, it's a little early to be waking up."

"No, let's wake up now and go!" She said.

"The doctor's not open at this hour Lizzy." Edward groaned as he rolled over.

Elizabeth squealed and pounced on his stomach, his eyes popped open and he omphed as she knocked the wind out of him.

"Daddy, call the office, you're the boss!" She said.

I laughed, "Daddy's isn't the boss at this office honey, he has no power there," I rolled over, my large stomach making it harder to do even the slightest movements. I couldn't remember being this big with Elizabeth, not this early.

Elizabeth groaned and flopped backwards on the bed dramatically, "Ugh, but I want to know if I'm having a baby sister or a baby brother."

Edward sat up, his hair a mess. Lizzy was an early riser like me, much to Edward's dismay. Now he had two girls that would wake him up way before he wanted to.

"How about this, my lovely ladies, let's get ready and go out to breakfast. And when we finish it'll be time for the appointment." He said, stretching his arms up.

"Yes! Pancakes daddy! With strawberries daddy!"

"Of course, little lady, anything for you," Edward said, "Daddy will give you a bath while mommy showers."

Elizabeth jumped onto his back as he stood, he grunted a little.

"Be careful with daddy Lizzy, he's old." Edward turned around and gave me a look. I smiled widely back.

I got out of bed, well, more like rolled out of bed, probably resembling a beached whale and paddled into the shower. I sighed happily as the hot water soothed my aching back; it was always hurting.

After I finished washing, and spending a few extra moments relaxing in the hot water, I got out. Edward walked in, holding a towel wrapped Lizzy and sat her on the counter beside me. She was smiling widely, her feet swinging.

She placed her hands on my naked stomach, "Look at your big baby marks!" she giggled, referring to the numerous stretch marks across my skin.

I mocked gasped, "Well, thank you very much." I laughed, the shower starting up behind me as Edward got in.

"Auntie Rosie says big baby marks are good! It means the baby is healthy!" She smiled.

"Mmm, well, this baby is definitely healthy." I laughed, "Now, what should we do with your hair?"

"Hmm," she tapped her chin, "How about… piggy tails! With my blue bows!" She said.

I laughed and pulled out her two favorite bows, which were big blue sparkly bows that her grandma made.

As I brushed and blew her hair dry she made funny faces at herself in the mirror. She had such a lively, energetic personality. She was my precious gift.

She smiled happily when I finished her hair, "Okay, mommy, I need to pick out my outfit!" She said seriously.

"Okay, go pick one out." I said, helping her off the counter.

Edward stepped out of the shower then, a towel wrapped around his waist.

"You two are exactly alike," he said as he dried his hair with another towel.

"She reminds me of a little Alice, full of energy and she doesn't stop until she drops." I laughed, brushing my hair out.

"No, she's like your little self. Full of energy and just ready to go, go, go." He said, combing his unruly hair.

I smiled, remembering when those times, "Yeah. I guess it's been awhile since I've been little."

He put his hand on my stomach, "Eh, well, our lives are a bit chaotic right now. Lots of distractions."

I nodded and placed my hand over his, "Yeah, I supposed. But, there hasn't been a need for me to really go little."

He kissed my forehead, "I love you." He said.

I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed him, "I love you too."

Lizzy ran in holding a mess of clothing in her arms, "I got my outfit!"

Edward grabbed the pile, "Okay, we've got some pants, a dress, a skirt, some gloves, and your doggy hat."

She looked up at him with a bright smile, "My outfit!"

He laughed, "Well, why don't we get a few other things you've forgotten huh?"  
"Okay!" she squealed.

"Just let me get dress sweetie." Edward said as he slipped out of the room and into the closet to change.

"I need to get dressed too honey, will you hand me the clothes over there?" I asked. She gathered them up in her arms and handed the clutter to me.

I took off my robe and changed into my clothes. It was just a pair of black leggings and a long maternity shirt. Edward walked out dressed in his clothes.

"Okay my turn now!" Lizzy said, bouncing around.

When we were all finally dressed, after three outfit changes Lizzy was finally ready to go to breakfast. Our favorite place was IHOP, Lizzy loved the fruity pancakes, we had that in common.

After we finished breakfast we headed to the doctor's office for my appointment. Lizzy was nearly bouncing in her seat the entire way there. She was excited to find out whether the baby was a boy or girl.

"Uh oh, I gotta go pee pee." Lizzy said, holding herself.

"Pull over hon." I said.

"It's okay, we're already here." Edward said as he turned into the parking lot.

"Can you take her to the bathroom? I don't think I'd be able to hold it." I chuckled; I had to hold my bladder so the sonogram can capture the baby.

"Of course," Edward said as he undid her belts and lifted her on his hip.

"No daddy, I wanna walk," she said, wiggling out of his arms.

"Hold daddy's hand Lizzy." I said before she could dash off.

When we walked into the office, Edward took Lizzy to the bathroom while I checked in.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Cullen. If you'd just fill these out we'll take you right back." I sat in a seat and started filling out the paperwork she had given me, it was pretty much the same stuff from when I was pregnant with Lizzy.

Edward and Lizzy walked out of the bathroom, she immediately ran to the toys while Edward sat down beside me, putting a hand on my belly.

"I'm so excited." He said.

I smiled, "Me too, I can't wait to find out what we're having."

"Me either. And after we find out the sex we can start with the nursery." He said.

"So, what do you want? Another girl? Or a boy?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter to me, as long as it's healthy." he said.

I chuckled, "Well, of course, but, is there one you'd rather have just a little bit more?"

He thought for a moment but before he could answer, the nurse called us back. Edward called Lizzy. She bounced up and followed us to the room.

"Alright Mrs. Cullen, lay down." The doctor said as he helped me onto the bed.

Edward was sitting in the chair beside me with Lizzy in his lap. The doctor squirted the warm gel onto my stomach. The little camera pressed hard against my stomach. Within a few moments, a blob appeared on the screen.

"Alright, here's your… wait a minute," the doctor looked closer at the screen.

"W-what's wrong?" I asked, becoming nervous.

The doctor's eyes were squinting at the screen, then he broke into a little smile.

"Well, Mrs. Cullen, it appears that you're carrying twins." He said.

I gasped, "T-twins?! A-are you serious!?" I asked.

"Mmm hmm." I looked over at Edward, who's eyes were just as wide as mine.

"Twins." He said, his lips forming a wide smile.

He leaned over and kissed me. Lizzy pushed us apart, "What does twins mean?"

"It means, that mommy is having two babies. You're going to be a big sister to two babies." Edward said.

"Whoa! Two babies! Wow!" She said excitedly.

I wiped away a few stray tears.

"Would you like to know the sex?" The doctor asked.

"Yes, please." Edward and I said at the same time.

"Alrighty, it's a…" he trailed off for a moment, "you're having twin boys."

"Two baby brothers!" Lizzy squealed.

Edward kissed my cheek, "We're having two sons."

I laughed, "We are."

The doctor took a few more pictures of the babies.

"Now, Mrs. Cullen, you have to be a little more careful with twins. They're perfectly healthy but you just need to take it easy. When the due date is closer we can talk about delivery and all that. Just try to stay off your feet as much as possible."

"Thank you." I said as I wiped off the gel.

When the doctor walked out, Edward wrapped his arms around me.

"We're having twins." He said excitedly.

I squealed, "Twin boys!"

Lizzy was smooshed between our hug, "I'm gonna have two baby brothers!"

"You are." I said, showering her with a flurry of kisses. She giggled.

Edward the top of her head, "Two baby's means a lot more work."

"I can help!" Lizzy couldn't pass on being a helper, "I'll be your helper mommy!"

I laughed, "Well, thank you sweet pea, I'll definitely need it."

"Hey, you know what, let's go celebrate. Who wants ice cream?" Edward said.

"Oh me! Me!" Lizzy squealed.

After we were pleasantly stuffed with ice cream, we drove home. Lizzy immediately passed out in her car seat, a goatee of chocolate ice cream around her lips.

Edward held my hands as he drove.

"I love you so much." I said after a few moments of staring at him.

He smiled, "I love you too. More than you could ever imagine."

"Thank you," I said, "For everything. For this life." I smiled.

"You shouldn't be thanking me. I should be thanking you. You've made me happier than I could ever have imagined." He said.

My smile widened, "I can't believe we're having twin boys."

"Me either. I'm so excited. I think we'll have to get a bigger house though. Twins plus a three-year-old, we'll need more space and a bigger backyard so the kids can play." He said.

I gave him a look, "I figured this would be the perfect excuse for us to move out of the townhouse. You've been dying to get another place."

He laughed, "I just want a bigger house so we can all have enough room. I love the townhouse too, but I think it might be time for us to find a bigger place."

I smiled, "Yeah, it is time."

His phone started ringing, it was mom.

"Hey mom." We said together.

"Hey kids, just calling to see how the appointment went." She said.

We looked at each other, "Maybe we should have a family dinner and tell every together?"

"That sounds like a great idea. How about tomorrow night at our house? I'll cook a huge dinner for everyone." She said.

"That sounds great, we'll see you tomorrow." I said before we signed off.

Edward was smiling widely, "I think everyone will be excited. This is the first set of twins in the family."

I grasped his hand tighter and settled back into my seat. My life was truly perfect. I had an amazing husband who loved me unconditionally, a daughter who I loved and treasured, an extended family that accepted and loved me. And now, Edward and I were adding two more to our happy family. I couldn't imagine my life getting any more perfect than it was now.

* * *

 **I truly hope you enjoyed the final chapter!**


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